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Avoiding people who want to be friends with me

Yes it’s another thread of me ranting about problems I cause myself, yes I know no one cares, and no you don’t have to comment, just click away lol.

I’m on my *****y exchange year in Paris and been kind of making friends with people from my uk uni class who are also exchange students and finally being invited to do stuff and go on nights out with them. And there’s one girl especially who is really trying to be my friend and sits with me for lunch/in the breaks. And there’s a guy who also chooses to sit with me in the breaks and initiate conversation with me for some unknown reason. And idk it’s just making me kind of uncomfortable.

I’ve had no friends for a very long time and at this point when someone bothers with me I’m just sort of sad and confused I guess. And end up finding excuses not to hang out with them like saying I’m busy and stuff until they just give up with. And I’m trying not to do that this time and to actually have friends. But I just struggle to find things to talk about and to not come across as boring and I’m trying to avoid the humiliation of people actually telling me to go away and that they don’t want to hang out with me so I cut myself of from them first

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I wish I had your problems

Reply 2

JDINCINERATOR

Dude, you need more self-confidence and don't always think negatively about how you come across. I'm sure you've got many good things to talk about and that you can make good friends. Don't shut yourself away in a lonely hole because you don't deserve that. Is there something in your past that makes you feel this way? And don't be so down on yourself, TSR is the place to air how you're feeling, many of us understand and want to support you and help you however we can.

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Yes it’s another thread of me ranting about problems I cause myself, yes I know no one cares, and no you don’t have to comment, just click away lol.
I’m on my *****y exchange year in Paris and been kind of making friends with people from my uk uni class who are also exchange students and finally being invited to do stuff and go on nights out with them. And there’s one girl especially who is really trying to be my friend and sits with me for lunch/in the breaks. And there’s a guy who also chooses to sit with me in the breaks and initiate conversation with me for some unknown reason. And idk it’s just making me kind of uncomfortable.
I’ve had no friends for a very long time and at this point when someone bothers with me I’m just sort of sad and confused I guess. And end up finding excuses not to hang out with them like saying I’m busy and stuff until they just give up with. And I’m trying not to do that this time and to actually have friends. But I just struggle to find things to talk about and to not come across as boring and I’m trying to avoid the humiliation of people actually telling me to go away and that they don’t want to hang out with me so I cut myself of from them first

that used to be mee, and still kind of is tbh.

I used to shut down lots of opportunities, because I knew I was never going to end up making like long-term friends and stuff like that, but it's still worth giving people a chance. I used to get left out quite a lot and would just turn down things in fear of being left out of groups, but now I'm pretty happy being alone so idm taking an opportunity and just running with it.

And I'm sure you're not boring, even if you can't find things to say (again I'm like that with people asw), but once you hang around them and you actually stop thinking too much about it, it becomes a lot easier to talk. No one expects you to be fully open and fully conversational, trust me, and it might be slightly awkward but as long as you're authentic and genuine, it shouldn't matter. When people try to be my friends, as in ppl who are regularly talking to me, I straight up tell them that I sometimes can't find the right things to say so excuse silences.
If they're also genuine, then it shouldn't bother them. I've learnt that people who genuinely want to talk to you, will try their best to talk to you and people who want to be around you, will do exactly that and try to be around you, even if you push them away in the beginning with awkward silences or shyness/coldness.. As long as you are you and you have the right intentions, it's all okay.

Also, it's only embarrassing if you feel embarrassed. Don't let the feeling of being humiliated stop you from making new friends/learning things about other people.
I still don't feel like I belong anywhere or have anyone steady in my life, but at various different points, I used to, and I learnt so much and made so many fun memories bc I gave someone/something a chance and sometimes, I only wish I did it earlier, so that my early teenage years were less depressing.

Life goes on, no matter what, so don't be afraid to try and live it the best way you can.
and also know you're not alone <33

Reply 4

luvsunsets

Original post by Anonymous

Yes it’s another thread of me ranting about problems I cause myself, yes I know no one cares, and no you don’t have to comment, just click away lol.
I’m on my *****y exchange year in Paris and been kind of making friends with people from my uk uni class who are also exchange students and finally being invited to do stuff and go on nights out with them. And there’s one girl especially who is really trying to be my friend and sits with me for lunch/in the breaks. And there’s a guy who also chooses to sit with me in the breaks and initiate conversation with me for some unknown reason. And idk it’s just making me kind of uncomfortable.
I’ve had no friends for a very long time and at this point when someone bothers with me I’m just sort of sad and confused I guess. And end up finding excuses not to hang out with them like saying I’m busy and stuff until they just give up with. And I’m trying not to do that this time and to actually have friends. But I just struggle to find things to talk about and to not come across as boring and I’m trying to avoid the humiliation of people actually telling me to go away and that they don’t want to hang out with me so I cut myself of from them first