These are very valid points and your concerns are fully justified.
However, if the conflict is to be resolved without what could turn out to be many more years of death and destruction, then we need to find a realistic starting point for negotiations.
In an important change of tone, Mr Zelensky has recently indicated that he wants Russia to participate in the next round of negotiations sponsored by Switzerland, due in November:
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The majority of the world today says that Russia must be represented at the second summit, otherwise we will not achieve meaningful results...since the whole world wants them to be at the table, we cannot be against it."
https://www.france24.com/en/europe/20240731-ukraine-s-zelensky-says-he-wants-russia-at-the-table-for-next-peace-summitHe has also said that he recognises that not all the territory lost to Russia since 2014, such as Crimea, could be retaken militarily due to the high human cost.
These are wise words. But the problem he faces is that last year he gambled on a counter-offensive that many observers - myself included - said was doomed to failure. As a result, his negotiating position has weakened.
Nevertheless, there are levers that can be pulled to encourage Russia to negotiate. While it will have the upper hand in any protracted war of attrition, the impact on living standards will eventually begin to tell, with unpredictable consequences for Mr Putin and his government. The West also holds the leverage over frozen Russian assets, which can be used both as carrot and stick.
The seeds of compromise are there. Reaching a settlement will be very, very difficult, but as the president of Switzerland has said, the alternative is to do nothing - and that would continue to inflict immense damage on the economies of Western Europe as well as Russia, not to mention the catastrophic consequences that would befall the people of Ukraine.