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would you let your partner add opposite gender on linkedin?

it’s a very common thing that me and him both say we won’t add the opposite gender on any socials. My boyfriend added girls from his workplace on linkedin and told me, because he added everyone from there and is just trying to build connections. he just made a post that he got a new job and there’s there girls in his comments saying congrats and him replying thank you. I might sound mad but i think it’s so unnecessary to add girls on linkedin that are our age. they’re not going to help you progress, it’s unnecessary? or do i sound really mad. he also replied to one of them saying thank you and then a word that wasn’t her name. i asked him about it and he said he called her that because it was a joke at the beginning that the manager spelt her name wrong. and now i’m thinking why was he even being friendly with them because that is a no go area in our relationship

Reply 1

Forlornsoul

13

You are being controlling.
LinkedIn is not Tinder
There is nothing wrong with professionally networking with people, especially in today's economic climate.
It doesn't often pay to remain loyal to a single organisation

Reply 2

Ciel.

21

Original post by Anonymous

it’s a very common thing that me and him both say we won’t add the opposite gender on any socials. My boyfriend added girls from his workplace on linkedin and told me, because he added everyone from there and is just trying to build connections. he just made a post that he got a new job and there’s there girls in his comments saying congrats and him replying thank you. I might sound mad but i think it’s so unnecessary to add girls on linkedin that are our age. they’re not going to help you progress, it’s unnecessary? or do i sound really mad. he also replied to one of them saying thank you and then a word that wasn’t her name. i asked him about it and he said he called her that because it was a joke at the beginning that the manager spelt her name wrong. and now i’m thinking why was he even being friendly with them because that is a no go area in our relationship

that's madness tbh. what's the point? coming from an ex cheater -trust me, if someone wants to cheat, they will, and no amount of silly rules or threats will stop them

Reply 3

Zarek

21

Bonkers, LinkedIn isn’t dating social media, it’s just a career boasting and showing off site. Let him develop his network

Reply 4

Crazy Jamie

Life & Style Forum Helper, Careers Forum Helper

19

Original post by Anonymous

or do i sound really mad.

Well, you sound mad. On one level I do get this, and I remember what it was like to have insecurities around relationships when you're a teenager (which I assume you are, or are close to). Because everyone has them to a degree at that age, people very often feel the need to interact as little as possible with the opposite sex to somehow prove their loyalty to their partner. But in the real world, that is all nonsense. Loyalty does not require minimal interaction with the opposite sex, and neither does trust. In the real world people are friends with the opposite sex, and yes, are commonly attracted to the opposite sex without cheating on their partner. Both being friends with and being attracted to the opposite sex is perfectly normal when you're in a relationship, and seeking to restrict that is just a sign of immaturity, insecurity or both. It isn't necessary, it isn't healthy, and it also isn't effective at what it's intended to do.

If your relationship is going to work, it is absolutely vital that you and your boyfriend trust each other to remain faithful. That means allowing each other to be around and be friends with the opposite sex. It also means trusting that those interactions are appropriate, and not clamouring for details of them. Your boyfriend has chosen to be a relationship with you, and you have chosen the same for him. That is enough. If that changes at any point for one or both of you, then the relationship will come to an end. That's how it works. In the mean time, demanding that he does not interact with girls is unhealthy and counter productive. Not only does it not undermine your relationship for him to have female friends, it is often actively a good thing. So not only is this level of scrutiny around his interactions on LinkedIn far more likely to damage your relationship than help it, you both need to stop with the whole not adding the opposite gender on socials nonsense. It's not real relationships work.

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 5

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

20

They say the true reflection of someone's character is how they treat service staff. In other words, if you've got someone who is polite to restaurant workers, shop workers etc they're a good character. And that is why you don't come out well with these 2 phrases:

"i think it’s so unnecessary to add girls on linkedin that are our age. they’re not going to help you progress, it’s unnecessary?"

"now i’m thinking why was he even being friendly with them because that is a no go area in our relationship"

He's being friendly with work colleagues; of course that will help him progress, otherwise he'll be considered anti-social and they won't be helping him when he needs it. Are you going to tell him he can't be nice in real life either? Don't you work? Aren't you friendly with colleagues or the lady on the till of your local supermarket? Or a you a social climber who looks for those who are of direct benefit?

Reply 6

elareare

19

it's linkedin not snapchat 😂

Reply 7

User_name001

14

Lol LinkedIn is a professional platform used to network and connect. Your literally being controlling here your probably stopping your partner from getting the opportunity to get his next big Job. It ain’t no dating app for you to be worried about or get insecure over. It’s not even Instagram.

Reply 8

StriderHort

21

Yep, mad.

Having a rule that you can't talk to the other gender is frankly stupid and as you're finding out, doesn't do one thing to help your insecurities. now you're just left with this weird sense of entitlement to stop each other socialising.

Reply 9

Trinculo

21

Tbf nowadays the majority of Linkedin posts are people who are delighted to announce something.

Reply 10

anosmianAcrimony

20

If your partner turns out to be a cheater, your relationship is in trouble regardless of whether you let him chat with women on LinkedIn or any other platform.

Also, if you can't trust him that far, your relationship is in trouble regardless.

Reply 11

ROTL 94

13

We're both blokes but yeah, I'd have no issue with him following other men on Linkedin. This paranoia will sabotage your relationships. You need to get it sorted.

Reply 12

iL1L

Volunteer Team

20

Original post by Anonymous

it’s a very common thing that me and him both say we won’t add the opposite gender on any socials. My boyfriend added girls from his workplace on linkedin and told me, because he added everyone from there and is just trying to build connections. he just made a post that he got a new job and there’s there girls in his comments saying congrats and him replying thank you. I might sound mad but i think it’s so unnecessary to add girls on linkedin that are our age. they’re not going to help you progress, it’s unnecessary? or do i sound really mad. he also replied to one of them saying thank you and then a word that wasn’t her name. i asked him about it and he said he called her that because it was a joke at the beginning that the manager spelt her name wrong. and now i’m thinking why was he even being friendly with them because that is a no go area in our relationship

I understand where you are coming from but LinkedIn is a professional platform for work. It should be ok.

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

it’s a very common thing that me and him both say we won’t add the opposite gender on any socials. My boyfriend added girls from his workplace on linkedin and told me, because he added everyone from there and is just trying to build connections. he just made a post that he got a new job and there’s there girls in his comments saying congrats and him replying thank you. I might sound mad but i think it’s so unnecessary to add girls on linkedin that are our age. they’re not going to help you progress, it’s unnecessary? or do i sound really mad. he also replied to one of them saying thank you and then a word that wasn’t her name. i asked him about it and he said he called her that because it was a joke at the beginning that the manager spelt her name wrong. and now i’m thinking why was he even being friendly with them because that is a no go area in our relationship

Oh my god I thought I was the only one. From all the posts I have been currently seeing have all stated that it is controlling and my partner should have female friends. We are two people who have made a mutual agreement to be able to interact with the opposite sex during any work related setting however, when it comes to linkedin I honestly don’t see why he would need to connect with other women. The reason for this is because whenever I have been on LinkedIn, loads of posts would be either that person posting themself or them posting there achievement. Call me crazy but I don’t see how he would benefit from this professionally ???

would you let your partner add opposite gender on linkedin?

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