Not too happy with my flatmates [ADVICE NEEDED]

hmcdermid2001

So I have like two issues here.

You’ll have to excuse this being laid out bad, I’m autistic and really not great at wording things sometimes.

Firstly, the main thing. My flatmates are so so boring and I’m borderline tweaking over it. First of all, I’m 23, not immature or young and I know how to be respectful in the dorms, I much am before anyone talks about anything along the lines of that. I’ve had a flat before and roommates and all was well.

So, I’m a bit of a nightlife person and quite an extrovert and I may have just had bad expectations I guess but I can’t stand my flatmates, like at all. They’re such nice people right and we vibe really well on the rare chance that they leave their rooms, but my god I’m so bored. I want to make friends with them, I want to have fun and go out drinking and stuff, even just sitting in the main lounge area would be nice but no- every single one of them just sits in their rooms doing nothing at all.

I’m just really struggling to be honest. Nobody talks to me at all or wants to hang out and I just hate sitting in my room alone listening to people in the street or other dorms laughing and having fun with their mates and idk. I’m just not coping well with it.

One of them works for the University as some sort of staff member/student thing and they’re so damn snarky and two faced, they're actually the main point of my other issue.

The other issue revolving around them requires a bit of context. So the main thing is I’m transgender right. I wanted to go to Uni and be pretty much private about it so I could hang out with dudes and just be a regular guy for once right? I specifically didn’t request a LGBT flat (that’s an option when applying for accommodation) because I wanted to be with a good mix, and people who are LGBT from my experience are super shy and as weird as it sounds considering I am one myself, I just don’t really mesh with them well.

Well I got here and realized they’re all some form of LGBT, no issue with that obviously, my issue is the fact that the staff member student person apparently READ MY APPLICATION and requested that I was in their flat.

I feel like that’s a violation right?! I didn’t want to tell anyone that, I like that part of my life to be private and just for me because it’s nobody else’s damn business and now I find out that this random person just helped themself to my private information one day like I owed them it?!

I’m not insecure, it’s not anything hateful, I’m just ****ed beyond belief that some random person just helped themself to pretty much private information about me because they were “curious.” Who does that? Is that not a bit messed up? Am I being weird?

Idk. Any advice would be helpful.

Reply 1

Surnia

First, they are flatmates, but don't have to actually be your mates. They are people with whom you are sharing accommodation. I had friends on my uni course, in my societies, but didn't socialise with the girls in my house.

Second, what random 'staff member student person' just helped themself to your private information? What evidence do you have? Have you contacted the Accommodation Team with a factual complaint?

(edited 3 weeks ago)

Reply 2

hmcdermid2001

Original post by Surnia

First, they are flatmates, but don't have to actually be your mates. They are people with whom you are sharing accommodation. I had friends on my uni course, in my societies, but didn't socialise with the girls in my house.
Second, what random 'staff member student person' just helped themself to your private information? What evidence do you have? Have you contacted the Accommodation Team with a factual complaint?

You’re probably right. I guess I just had my hopes a bit too high that the people I was living with would want to be friends.

I worded the role a little wrong I think haha, basically there’s a group of students at my University that are hired by the University to organize like… groups or something for people at the Accommodation sites. From what I can tell it’s to create a welcoming environment for new students and host events and basically keep an eye on the dorms.

They made a one off comment to me when I was opening up about being trans saying “I already saw on your application that you were anyways,” and I asked another flatmate about it later that night and they confirmed to me that they’d looked through the applications for everyone in the flat before we got here out of curiosity or something.

I haven’t made any complaints yet and to be honest I’ve just been ignoring them and avoiding them because they seem really stuck up their own ass to be honest.