Started uni yesterday. Feeling lonely, no motivation to leave my room, struggling.
Hi guys, I started uni yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've made friends with two of my flatmates which is fine but that's it. I cried hard last night and I feel constant anxiety about what's coming with studies, worrying about getting lost but most importantly I'm terrified to talk to new people which is why I feel making friends or finding a friend group may be impossible. I don't know where or how to find people. I do get on well with the two flatmates I've met so far, but I kept hearing people outside my room last night, talking in groups on nights out having fun. I have no motivation to leave my room since my actual studies don't start until Sept 23rd so I kind of see Freshers as pointless. I can't even summon any strength to get up and go to the nearby shop across the road to buy milk. I'm nervous to meet people because this is a new beginning, I don't want to create any wrong impressions or mess up or do anything wrong. My main interests are history, politics and anything anime related, I just don't know how to find or connect with similar people. Has anyone else ever felt like this or had this happen to them? Any help or advice would really be appreciated
Original post by Norge_Biscotti
Hi guys, I started uni yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've made friends with two of my flatmates which is fine but that's it. I cried hard last night and I feel constant anxiety about what's coming with studies, worrying about getting lost but most importantly I'm terrified to talk to new people which is why I feel making friends or finding a friend group may be impossible. I don't know where or how to find people. I do get on well with the two flatmates I've met so far, but I kept hearing people outside my room last night, talking in groups on nights out having fun. I have no motivation to leave my room since my actual studies don't start until Sept 23rd so I kind of see Freshers as pointless. I can't even summon any strength to get up and go to the nearby shop across the road to buy milk. I'm nervous to meet people because this is a new beginning, I don't want to create any wrong impressions or mess up or do anything wrong. My main interests are history, politics and anything anime related, I just don't know how to find or connect with similar people. Has anyone else ever felt like this or had this happen to them? Any help or advice would really be appreciated
Give yourself time, you have only just started. Especially when classes commence you will fall into a group of friends as does everyone. Just remember everyone else is feeling the same so if you make the effort, you could be that friend for someone else who is feeling exactly the same as you 🙂
Original post by Norge_Biscotti
Hi guys, I started uni yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've made friends with two of my flatmates which is fine but that's it. I cried hard last night and I feel constant anxiety about what's coming with studies, worrying about getting lost but most importantly I'm terrified to talk to new people which is why I feel making friends or finding a friend group may be impossible. I don't know where or how to find people. I do get on well with the two flatmates I've met so far, but I kept hearing people outside my room last night, talking in groups on nights out having fun. I have no motivation to leave my room since my actual studies don't start until Sept 23rd so I kind of see Freshers as pointless. I can't even summon any strength to get up and go to the nearby shop across the road to buy milk. I'm nervous to meet people because this is a new beginning, I don't want to create any wrong impressions or mess up or do anything wrong. My main interests are history, politics and anything anime related, I just don't know how to find or connect with similar people. Has anyone else ever felt like this or had this happen to them? Any help or advice would really be appreciated
Hi there, first of all I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way. I’m about to go into my first year at uni, I’ve struggled making friends my whole life and overall I’m a very anxious person and suffer from depression and I always worry about being judged by people. I know exactly how you feel. I think what makes me feel better is accepting and being okay with being alone sometimes- I try to remember that no-one is really concerned about anyone else apart from themselves, so no one is looking at you and judging you. Once you’ve accepted this about yourself you will start to feel more confident in yourself. I say since you’ve become friends with 2 people already that’s very positive, perhaps if they are outgoing and have other friends you could ask if you could tag along, so then you could meet new people, but you’d also have the comfort of being with someone you already know?
Hey, I’ve been there too. Starting uni can be such a whirlwind. I remember feeling the same way, especially that first week. One thing that helped me was slowly diving into campus activities. Even if it feels like Freshers' events aren't super relevant right now, they’re a good chance to meet people who might share your interests. For things like history, politics, or anime, check out any related clubs or societies on campus. People are usually pretty chill and understanding, so don’t worry too much about making a perfect impression. Just take it easy and be yourself.
Original post by Norge_Biscotti
Hi guys, I started uni yesterday and I'm really struggling. I've made friends with two of my flatmates which is fine but that's it. I cried hard last night and I feel constant anxiety about what's coming with studies, worrying about getting lost but most importantly I'm terrified to talk to new people which is why I feel making friends or finding a friend group may be impossible. I don't know where or how to find people. I do get on well with the two flatmates I've met so far, but I kept hearing people outside my room last night, talking in groups on nights out having fun. I have no motivation to leave my room since my actual studies don't start until Sept 23rd so I kind of see Freshers as pointless. I can't even summon any strength to get up and go to the nearby shop across the road to buy milk. I'm nervous to meet people because this is a new beginning, I don't want to create any wrong impressions or mess up or do anything wrong. My main interests are history, politics and anything anime related, I just don't know how to find or connect with similar people. Has anyone else ever felt like this or had this happen to them? Any help or advice would really be appreciated
Hi @Norge_Biscotti,
Firstly, congrats on starting university! This is a huge step and can feel like a massive change. I completely understand how you are feeling as I went through similar feelings when I started Uni. Being a shy and anxious person, I do often get anxiety when it comes to meeting new people, especially bigger groups however, over my time at uni I have learnt to just put myself out there. I forced myself to speak in front of groups of people, go out with my flat mates and just say yes to what I could. Freshers isn't just about going so if that isn't for you don't feel like you have to. 🙂
I would also say give yourself some more time. It's not always the case that you meet your friends straight away or during freshers, there is plenty more opportunities after freshers to make friends. You've got this!
Lastly, there are also societies with likeminded people to join and most universities have student ambassadors and other part time roles, which would be another great way of getting yourself out there and earning some money whilst making friends.
Hope you start to feel better and this helps even a little bit! 🙂
Jakub- Fashion promotion graduate
There is a lot of support out there such as:
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-Relate, they have a chat advisor
-NHS mental health, 111
-Mental Health 24/7: 0800 008 6516
-hubofhope website, useful contact information for your local area
You can self refer yourself to talking therapies on the NHS website.
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad Plenty of resources online, infor mation regarding well being.
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-Relate, they have a chat advisor
-NHS mental health, 111
-Mental Health 24/7: 0800 008 6516
-hubofhope website, useful contact information for your local area
You can self refer yourself to talking therapies on the NHS website.
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad Plenty of resources online, infor mation regarding well being.
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