Worried I’m going to struggle making friends

Hi all reading,
I moved into my uni accommodation today, Sunday, and I’ve pretty much been in my room all evening. I went out for a quick walk to look around and noticed everyone hanging round in groups. It’s worth noting that I’m in a studio, and will likely have minimal interaction with my flatmates. I’ve been here for 4 hours and haven’t met anyone yet. I’m just wondering how I will make friends with all this considered? Does everyone make friends on the first day because I haven’t. I’m a bit socially anxious at times and felt awkward that I was walking around with my AirPods in and everyone else was walking around with someone or in a small group. Idk, maybe they’re 2nd or 3rd years? Maybe not. How can I make friends in my situation? And does it matter that I’m in a studio? Thank you

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all reading,
I moved into my uni accommodation today, Sunday, and I’ve pretty much been in my room all evening. I went out for a quick walk to look around and noticed everyone hanging round in groups. It’s worth noting that I’m in a studio, and will likely have minimal interaction with my flatmates. I’ve been here for 4 hours and haven’t met anyone yet. I’m just wondering how I will make friends with all this considered? Does everyone make friends on the first day because I haven’t. I’m a bit socially anxious at times and felt awkward that I was walking around with my AirPods in and everyone else was walking around with someone or in a small group. Idk, maybe they’re 2nd or 3rd years? Maybe not. How can I make friends in my situation? And does it matter that I’m in a studio? Thank you

Hiya!

I totally understand your situation, I was a similar way in first year! It can be jarring to see people already making friends, but if its any way reassuring, what we see outside is most likely just a snapshot. It is likely people have already met their flatmates, or as you've said, are already 2nd or 3rd years! I would say that for sure, its very hard to make friends on your first day of moving in haha :biggrin:

If I could give any piece of advice, is that I would say to give it time! You are yet to meet your course mates for example. Sure, being in a studio means you probably won't get to know people in terms of having flatmates for example, but there are loads of other opportunities to make friends. Definitely go to freshers fair, give it a go events, try a new society that takes your fancy and try to go regularly - that's the most easiest way to meet new people and find friends :smile:

Hope that helps, or at least provided a little bit of reassurance!

~ Fatiha, Cardiff University Student Rep

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all reading,
I moved into my uni accommodation today, Sunday, and I’ve pretty much been in my room all evening. I went out for a quick walk to look around and noticed everyone hanging round in groups. It’s worth noting that I’m in a studio, and will likely have minimal interaction with my flatmates. I’ve been here for 4 hours and haven’t met anyone yet. I’m just wondering how I will make friends with all this considered? Does everyone make friends on the first day because I haven’t. I’m a bit socially anxious at times and felt awkward that I was walking around with my AirPods in and everyone else was walking around with someone or in a small group. Idk, maybe they’re 2nd or 3rd years? Maybe not. How can I make friends in my situation? And does it matter that I’m in a studio? Thank you

Hi there,

I know how you feel, and it can be daunting to make new friends in a new environment.

The above advice is great! Definitely give it some more time. You'll find that the more you get involved with Freshers' events and activities on campus, the more people you will meet. You might not become besties with everyone, but it's a great opportunity to meet new people, so try your best to chat to new faces ad introduce yourself.
And you don't have to stop making friends after your first few weeks. I've met so many people at uni over the past two years and some of my newer friendships from the past few months are my strongest friendships yet! So if you're seeing lots of students with friends, they've probably been in the same position as you at some point, and you'll find your friendships soon too.

Living in a studio, like you say, is also a bit different as I'm guessing you don't have as many communal areas? But it doesn't have to stop you from making friends. I've just moved into a studio myself, and have tried to make conversation with everyone I pass in my accommodation. This might be something that you feel more comfortable doing over time, but just saying a quick "hello" to people, or getting to know your neighbors can make you feel a bit more at home.

You could also look at the possibility of making friendships through working while at uni. I have a part time job outside of uni, where I've met other students from other unis in Birmingham. But, you could see if your uni has student jobs on campus which could also introduce you to some new students. I work as a student ambassador at BCU and have met lots of other students across many different courses. Even if you don't see these students every day on your own course, it's nice to know some familiar faces on campus.

Try not to worry - your friendships will start to fall into place as you become more settled. And comparison can be a killer with these types of situations. Try your best to push yourself gradually out of your comfort zone and get chatting to people where you can. And don't worry if your friendships take a little time, it'll be worth it in the end.

Best of luck with your new start. 🙂
Emily
Student Rep at BCU

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

If you're in a flat or halls and your next door neighbours aren't communicative and you want to make some friends you will ultimately have to just go up to people you see in the offing, introduce yourself and shake their hands, harsh as this may sound. You might not get a 100% hit rate but if you go up to five people who look friendly, at least two will probably want to hang out.

Reply 4

JDINCINERATOR

21

I think if you really want to make friends you need to try and make changes that better suit your desires. Take out those airpods and listen to your surroundings. Try getting involved in conversations with those groups because if they seem like friends bunches then you should get along with them. If you can assess whether the people around you are decent, then you shouldn't feel so nervous going up to them and sparking a nice conversation. Your mind is telling you things that are holding you back from your true potential. I get it, fear is everywhere, but fear derails who you really are and who you really want to be, so work on trying to derail that fear and you'll feel more integrated with your environment.

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all reading,
I moved into my uni accommodation today, Sunday, and I’ve pretty much been in my room all evening. I went out for a quick walk to look around and noticed everyone hanging round in groups. It’s worth noting that I’m in a studio, and will likely have minimal interaction with my flatmates. I’ve been here for 4 hours and haven’t met anyone yet. I’m just wondering how I will make friends with all this considered? Does everyone make friends on the first day because I haven’t. I’m a bit socially anxious at times and felt awkward that I was walking around with my AirPods in and everyone else was walking around with someone or in a small group. Idk, maybe they’re 2nd or 3rd years? Maybe not. How can I make friends in my situation? And does it matter that I’m in a studio? Thank you

Hi

I know how it can feel, when you see everyone else having a great time.

What I would say is to give it time and don't give up when you start to join societies and meet your new coursemates I am sure you will be fine as it is easier to make friends in these situations as you all have common interests.

I hope this helps,

Matt
Wrexham Uni Reps

Reply 6

FayeYSJ

6

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all reading,
I moved into my uni accommodation today, Sunday, and I’ve pretty much been in my room all evening. I went out for a quick walk to look around and noticed everyone hanging round in groups. It’s worth noting that I’m in a studio, and will likely have minimal interaction with my flatmates. I’ve been here for 4 hours and haven’t met anyone yet. I’m just wondering how I will make friends with all this considered? Does everyone make friends on the first day because I haven’t. I’m a bit socially anxious at times and felt awkward that I was walking around with my AirPods in and everyone else was walking around with someone or in a small group. Idk, maybe they’re 2nd or 3rd years? Maybe not. How can I make friends in my situation? And does it matter that I’m in a studio? Thank you

Hi!
Being in a studio may keep you from the usual interactions with flatmates. However, there are plenty of other ways to make friends. Most people make close friends with people on their course or societies. I wouldn't worry about not having met many people yet, there is still plenty of time and opportunities to make friends.

Hope this helps! Faye 🙂

Reply 7

domonict

17

Don’t worry, it’s too soon.
Many people find that they don’t get on with the first people that they meet anyway.
Loads of people develop friendships once the course starts, or when they join clubs.
Don’t go mad and join random societies, be a bit picky while being open to new things.
Even if you don’t fancy it, if someone suggests going for a coffee or to explore, give it a go.

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all reading,
I moved into my uni accommodation today, Sunday, and I’ve pretty much been in my room all evening. I went out for a quick walk to look around and noticed everyone hanging round in groups. It’s worth noting that I’m in a studio, and will likely have minimal interaction with my flatmates. I’ve been here for 4 hours and haven’t met anyone yet. I’m just wondering how I will make friends with all this considered? Does everyone make friends on the first day because I haven’t. I’m a bit socially anxious at times and felt awkward that I was walking around with my AirPods in and everyone else was walking around with someone or in a small group. Idk, maybe they’re 2nd or 3rd years? Maybe not. How can I make friends in my situation? And does it matter that I’m in a studio? Thank you

Hi there,

I understand how you are feeling and it can feel really disheartening at first if you don't meet lots of people when you start university. Even though you are in a studio, you can still make lots of friends, you might just have to put yourself out there a little bit more than you might have to if you were living in a flat with other first years. Does your building have lots of other flats or is it just studios? If there are social areas, you could have a look around and see if there are any people there that you can chat to and sometimes some student halls put events on in the social areas so you could go to these if there are any and go to these so you can meet some people here!

When your course starts there will be lots of people here to talk to as well and lots of new people to meet. I would say to make sure you are going to your lectures/seminars and this way you will meet lots of new people. Try and sit next to new people in your lectures and chat to them - everyone wants to make friends, especially in freshers week, so people will want to talk to you and make conversations so they will be happy for you to talk to them. Ask people if they want to meet up after uni, or go for a coffee etc or even just ask for their social media so you can talk on there or walk to lessons with them etc. Things like this will really help you make friends!

You could also look into societies and see if there are any societies that you like the look of and you want to join. These are also good ways of making friends as there will be so many people there that you can talk to and they often want to make friends. Have a look and see if there are any that you like the look of and go to some trials and see if you want to continue with any as these will be great for making friends and also good to get you out of your flat and socialising with people.

I hope some of this helps 🙂

Lucy - SHU student ambassador.

Reply 9

University of Portsmouth Student Rep

17

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all reading,
I moved into my uni accommodation today, Sunday, and I’ve pretty much been in my room all evening. I went out for a quick walk to look around and noticed everyone hanging round in groups. It’s worth noting that I’m in a studio, and will likely have minimal interaction with my flatmates. I’ve been here for 4 hours and haven’t met anyone yet. I’m just wondering how I will make friends with all this considered? Does everyone make friends on the first day because I haven’t. I’m a bit socially anxious at times and felt awkward that I was walking around with my AirPods in and everyone else was walking around with someone or in a small group. Idk, maybe they’re 2nd or 3rd years? Maybe not. How can I make friends in my situation? And does it matter that I’m in a studio? Thank you

Hi there!

It's totally normal to feel a little bit isolated when you start university, it's a big step, and the prospect of meeting people can feel really daunting, especially when it seems that everyone has already met their group. I felt the same way when I started university, and there are a few things that helped me:

1) Joining student groups and societies. These are a great way to meet people, as you'll share some common interests, and doing a sport or other activity together can help to bridge that "awkward" small talk stage too! Personally, I met all my closest connections this way, and this might be especially helpful to you if you're living in a studio, as you may meet fewer people through your accommodation.

2) Don't be afraid to talk to people on your course. Sometimes this gets overlooked, but much like joining a society, you and others on your course will also share an interest in your study subject. If you start chatting with people at lectures or seminars, maybe ask if they want to go to the library, or grab a coffee. It's likely that you'll be studying with many of the same people throughout your degree, so it can be really great to make connections here!

3) Consider working as a student ambassador. A lot of universities have ambassador programmes, which are a great way to meet other students, and gain some varied work experience. If you think it's a role that suits you, perhaps consider applying to that!

4) Don't forget that friendships and dynamics change throughout university, and don't worry if the first people you meet aren't your forever group, or you don't click with them immediately. I met some of my closest friends later on in my degree, through joining societies that I never would've joined in my first year. So don't be afraid to keep trying new things, and meeting new people as you go. University is a really unique experience in terms of the huge number of people to meet/ activities to try, so make the most of that opportunity too!

I hope this helps, and best of luck with starting your degree!

Eryn - Portsmouth Student Rep 🙂

Worried I’m going to struggle making friends

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