should i do smth even if I know i wont enjoy it?
Should I do it for the sake of doing it?
It's the only subject I enjoyed in school, and I found a-level maths easy, but A-Level FM was so difficult for me. But after I applied for uni and got my offer, I realised it's smth I lost my passion in/love for because it was so difficult for me to get through alone, even though I did get an A*/A.
Everyone used to say like omg you must love maths and stuff when they hear that I applied to maths and they're always saying that I love it, and at some point I did, but now I hate it when people think that. I hate that people think I love maths, bc I don't. I feel like a fraud. I don't. I was just good at it, and uni maths isn't even the same. It's a very rigorous subject, and I don't feel like I can do it anymore, so I don't know what I should do. I can't take another gap year, because there's no space for me at home anymore.
My mental health is so **** atm, bc of several things, and I'm trying so hard but i feel really helpless in this, because my uni is saying I can't switch courses, and ppl at home are being annoying bc ofc, i'm always supposed to be doing smth for my future. I can't afford uni as it is, but if I start my course, then drop out, I feel like it won't be worth all the hassle, also bc i already took a gap year.
I feel really let down, and I'm trying to change courses but they won't let me, and it's just so tiring. And I'm really afraid that if I have to do as much as I did in yr 13, that I won't be okay. I've never really asked for help, I've tried but it's never really happened, but I think I need it now.
Atm I really do just want to switch my course, there are other things I have an interest in, but my uni won't let me unless I re-apply for the next year. Again, I feel so helpless. I do want to go to uni, but maths drained me sm, what do I do?
Do I just do it for the sake of doing it? See if I can get through it?
It's the only subject I enjoyed in school, and I found a-level maths easy, but A-Level FM was so difficult for me. But after I applied for uni and got my offer, I realised it's smth I lost my passion in/love for because it was so difficult for me to get through alone, even though I did get an A*/A.
Everyone used to say like omg you must love maths and stuff when they hear that I applied to maths and they're always saying that I love it, and at some point I did, but now I hate it when people think that. I hate that people think I love maths, bc I don't. I feel like a fraud. I don't. I was just good at it, and uni maths isn't even the same. It's a very rigorous subject, and I don't feel like I can do it anymore, so I don't know what I should do. I can't take another gap year, because there's no space for me at home anymore.
My mental health is so **** atm, bc of several things, and I'm trying so hard but i feel really helpless in this, because my uni is saying I can't switch courses, and ppl at home are being annoying bc ofc, i'm always supposed to be doing smth for my future. I can't afford uni as it is, but if I start my course, then drop out, I feel like it won't be worth all the hassle, also bc i already took a gap year.
I feel really let down, and I'm trying to change courses but they won't let me, and it's just so tiring. And I'm really afraid that if I have to do as much as I did in yr 13, that I won't be okay. I've never really asked for help, I've tried but it's never really happened, but I think I need it now.
Atm I really do just want to switch my course, there are other things I have an interest in, but my uni won't let me unless I re-apply for the next year. Again, I feel so helpless. I do want to go to uni, but maths drained me sm, what do I do?
Do I just do it for the sake of doing it? See if I can get through it?
Original post by Anonymous
Should I do it for the sake of doing it?
It's the only subject I enjoyed in school, and I found a-level maths easy, but A-Level FM was so difficult for me. But after I applied for uni and got my offer, I realised it's smth I lost my passion in/love for because it was so difficult for me to get through alone, even though I did get an A*/A.
Everyone used to say like omg you must love maths and stuff when they hear that I applied to maths and they're always saying that I love it, and at some point I did, but now I hate it when people think that. I hate that people think I love maths, bc I don't. I feel like a fraud. I don't. I was just good at it, and uni maths isn't even the same. It's a very rigorous subject, and I don't feel like I can do it anymore, so I don't know what I should do. I can't take another gap year, because there's no space for me at home anymore.
My mental health is so **** atm, bc of several things, and I'm trying so hard but i feel really helpless in this, because my uni is saying I can't switch courses, and ppl at home are being annoying bc ofc, i'm always supposed to be doing smth for my future. I can't afford uni as it is, but if I start my course, then drop out, I feel like it won't be worth all the hassle, also bc i already took a gap year.
I feel really let down, and I'm trying to change courses but they won't let me, and it's just so tiring. And I'm really afraid that if I have to do as much as I did in yr 13, that I won't be okay. I've never really asked for help, I've tried but it's never really happened, but I think I need it now.
Atm I really do just want to switch my course, there are other things I have an interest in, but my uni won't let me unless I re-apply for the next year. Again, I feel so helpless. I do want to go to uni, but maths drained me sm, what do I do?
Do I just do it for the sake of doing it? See if I can get through it?
It's the only subject I enjoyed in school, and I found a-level maths easy, but A-Level FM was so difficult for me. But after I applied for uni and got my offer, I realised it's smth I lost my passion in/love for because it was so difficult for me to get through alone, even though I did get an A*/A.
Everyone used to say like omg you must love maths and stuff when they hear that I applied to maths and they're always saying that I love it, and at some point I did, but now I hate it when people think that. I hate that people think I love maths, bc I don't. I feel like a fraud. I don't. I was just good at it, and uni maths isn't even the same. It's a very rigorous subject, and I don't feel like I can do it anymore, so I don't know what I should do. I can't take another gap year, because there's no space for me at home anymore.
My mental health is so **** atm, bc of several things, and I'm trying so hard but i feel really helpless in this, because my uni is saying I can't switch courses, and ppl at home are being annoying bc ofc, i'm always supposed to be doing smth for my future. I can't afford uni as it is, but if I start my course, then drop out, I feel like it won't be worth all the hassle, also bc i already took a gap year.
I feel really let down, and I'm trying to change courses but they won't let me, and it's just so tiring. And I'm really afraid that if I have to do as much as I did in yr 13, that I won't be okay. I've never really asked for help, I've tried but it's never really happened, but I think I need it now.
Atm I really do just want to switch my course, there are other things I have an interest in, but my uni won't let me unless I re-apply for the next year. Again, I feel so helpless. I do want to go to uni, but maths drained me sm, what do I do?
Do I just do it for the sake of doing it? See if I can get through it?
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're caught in a tough situation, facing pressure from multiple directions, and it's weighing heavily on you. The sense of helplessness, particularly when you're battling issues with your mental health and feeling stuck with your university and course options, is truly overwhelming. Let's break down a few things that might help you find some clarity:
### 1. **You're Not a Fraud**
It's completely valid to have once loved something and now feel distant from it. The difficulty of a subject can sometimes cause a lot of frustration, even when you're naturally good at it. It's easy for others to assume you "love maths" just because you excel at it, but being good at something doesn't always mean it's your passion. Your feelings are real and important, and they don't make you a fraud.
### 2. **The Weight of Expectations**
It's clear there's pressure from others—your family, your university, and perhaps even yourself. But it’s important to remember that *you* are the one who will live with the consequences of these decisions. Everyone else may have their opinions, but your well-being and future should come first.
### 3. **Your Mental Health Matters Most**
Taking care of your mental health is crucial, especially if you're already feeling drained by the thought of doing another intense course load like you did in Year 13. Pushing yourself into something that makes you feel burned out could lead to greater struggles, especially if your heart isn't in it. Seeking help from a mental health professional, counselor, or trusted friend could be really beneficial at this stage. You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and it's important to have someone to talk to.
### 4. **About Doing Maths "For the Sake of It"**
If you're asking yourself whether you should just "get through it," it might be a sign that maths isn't the right path for you right now. University maths is very different from A-Level, and if you're already dreading the work, it may make things even harder when you’re deep in your degree. Continuing just for the sake of it—especially when you’ve lost your passion—might not be the healthiest choice.
### 5. **Explore Your Interests**
You mentioned there are other things you're interested in, which could open up different paths for you. It's frustrating that your university won’t let you switch courses right away, but there are ways to keep exploring those interests on the side—through online courses, personal projects, or even career exploration while you figure things out. Re-applying next year might feel like a setback, but it’s not the end of the world—it’s more important that you’re doing something you enjoy and that feels right for you in the long run.
### 6. **Dropping Out vs. Sticking With It**
If you do start the course and decide it’s not for you, dropping out is a big decision, but it’s not a failure. Sometimes, stepping away is necessary for your own well-being. That being said, it might be worth talking to your university again, explaining your situation, and seeing if they can offer any other forms of flexibility (e.g., deferring your start, looking at joint degrees, or considering transfer options to another uni).
### 7. **What Can You Do Right Now?**
- **Reach out for support**: You mentioned struggling to get help before, but maybe it’s time to really push for that. Whether it’s from family, friends, a counselor, or mental health services, you deserve support.
- **Talk to your university again**: Perhaps with clearer communication about your mental health and the strain you're feeling, they might provide some new options. If they still say no, at least you’ll know you tried.
- **Research alternative paths**: Look at other courses or careers that excite you and figure out what steps are needed to get there, even if it’s not immediate.
- **Don’t rush**: It feels like everything has to be decided now, but you do have time. Even if it means reapplying or taking another year, your mental health and happiness are more important.
You’re in a tough spot, but your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Taking things one step at a time, reaching out for help, and making decisions that protect your well-being is the best path forward. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're caught in a tough situation, facing pressure from multiple directions, and it's weighing heavily on you. The sense of helplessness, particularly when you're battling issues with your mental health and feeling stuck with your university and course options, is truly overwhelming. Let's break down a few things that might help you find some clarity:
### 1. **You're Not a Fraud**
It's completely valid to have once loved something and now feel distant from it. The difficulty of a subject can sometimes cause a lot of frustration, even when you're naturally good at it. It's easy for others to assume you "love maths" just because you excel at it, but being good at something doesn't always mean it's your passion. Your feelings are real and important, and they don't make you a fraud.
### 2. **The Weight of Expectations**
It's clear there's pressure from others—your family, your university, and perhaps even yourself. But it’s important to remember that *you* are the one who will live with the consequences of these decisions. Everyone else may have their opinions, but your well-being and future should come first.
### 3. **Your Mental Health Matters Most**
Taking care of your mental health is crucial, especially if you're already feeling drained by the thought of doing another intense course load like you did in Year 13. Pushing yourself into something that makes you feel burned out could lead to greater struggles, especially if your heart isn't in it. Seeking help from a mental health professional, counselor, or trusted friend could be really beneficial at this stage. You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and it's important to have someone to talk to.
### 4. **About Doing Maths "For the Sake of It"**
If you're asking yourself whether you should just "get through it," it might be a sign that maths isn't the right path for you right now. University maths is very different from A-Level, and if you're already dreading the work, it may make things even harder when you’re deep in your degree. Continuing just for the sake of it—especially when you’ve lost your passion—might not be the healthiest choice.
### 5. **Explore Your Interests**
You mentioned there are other things you're interested in, which could open up different paths for you. It's frustrating that your university won’t let you switch courses right away, but there are ways to keep exploring those interests on the side—through online courses, personal projects, or even career exploration while you figure things out. Re-applying next year might feel like a setback, but it’s not the end of the world—it’s more important that you’re doing something you enjoy and that feels right for you in the long run.
### 6. **Dropping Out vs. Sticking With It**
If you do start the course and decide it’s not for you, dropping out is a big decision, but it’s not a failure. Sometimes, stepping away is necessary for your own well-being. That being said, it might be worth talking to your university again, explaining your situation, and seeing if they can offer any other forms of flexibility (e.g., deferring your start, looking at joint degrees, or considering transfer options to another uni).
### 7. **What Can You Do Right Now?**
- **Reach out for support**: You mentioned struggling to get help before, but maybe it’s time to really push for that. Whether it’s from family, friends, a counselor, or mental health services, you deserve support.
- **Talk to your university again**: Perhaps with clearer communication about your mental health and the strain you're feeling, they might provide some new options. If they still say no, at least you’ll know you tried.
- **Research alternative paths**: Look at other courses or careers that excite you and figure out what steps are needed to get there, even if it’s not immediate.
- **Don’t rush**: It feels like everything has to be decided now, but you do have time. Even if it means reapplying or taking another year, your mental health and happiness are more important.
You’re in a tough spot, but your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Taking things one step at a time, reaching out for help, and making decisions that protect your well-being is the best path forward. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now.
### 1. **You're Not a Fraud**
It's completely valid to have once loved something and now feel distant from it. The difficulty of a subject can sometimes cause a lot of frustration, even when you're naturally good at it. It's easy for others to assume you "love maths" just because you excel at it, but being good at something doesn't always mean it's your passion. Your feelings are real and important, and they don't make you a fraud.
### 2. **The Weight of Expectations**
It's clear there's pressure from others—your family, your university, and perhaps even yourself. But it’s important to remember that *you* are the one who will live with the consequences of these decisions. Everyone else may have their opinions, but your well-being and future should come first.
### 3. **Your Mental Health Matters Most**
Taking care of your mental health is crucial, especially if you're already feeling drained by the thought of doing another intense course load like you did in Year 13. Pushing yourself into something that makes you feel burned out could lead to greater struggles, especially if your heart isn't in it. Seeking help from a mental health professional, counselor, or trusted friend could be really beneficial at this stage. You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and it's important to have someone to talk to.
### 4. **About Doing Maths "For the Sake of It"**
If you're asking yourself whether you should just "get through it," it might be a sign that maths isn't the right path for you right now. University maths is very different from A-Level, and if you're already dreading the work, it may make things even harder when you’re deep in your degree. Continuing just for the sake of it—especially when you’ve lost your passion—might not be the healthiest choice.
### 5. **Explore Your Interests**
You mentioned there are other things you're interested in, which could open up different paths for you. It's frustrating that your university won’t let you switch courses right away, but there are ways to keep exploring those interests on the side—through online courses, personal projects, or even career exploration while you figure things out. Re-applying next year might feel like a setback, but it’s not the end of the world—it’s more important that you’re doing something you enjoy and that feels right for you in the long run.
### 6. **Dropping Out vs. Sticking With It**
If you do start the course and decide it’s not for you, dropping out is a big decision, but it’s not a failure. Sometimes, stepping away is necessary for your own well-being. That being said, it might be worth talking to your university again, explaining your situation, and seeing if they can offer any other forms of flexibility (e.g., deferring your start, looking at joint degrees, or considering transfer options to another uni).
### 7. **What Can You Do Right Now?**
- **Reach out for support**: You mentioned struggling to get help before, but maybe it’s time to really push for that. Whether it’s from family, friends, a counselor, or mental health services, you deserve support.
- **Talk to your university again**: Perhaps with clearer communication about your mental health and the strain you're feeling, they might provide some new options. If they still say no, at least you’ll know you tried.
- **Research alternative paths**: Look at other courses or careers that excite you and figure out what steps are needed to get there, even if it’s not immediate.
- **Don’t rush**: It feels like everything has to be decided now, but you do have time. Even if it means reapplying or taking another year, your mental health and happiness are more important.
You’re in a tough spot, but your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Taking things one step at a time, reaching out for help, and making decisions that protect your well-being is the best path forward. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
Honestly, I know that I'm in a good position, as in I have an apprenticeship and a uni offer, but classes start soon and I do want to go to uni, it's just I don't want to do maths anymore, it's not for me, not like it used to be.
I want to pursue a degree because I know that I can, I also really do want to get out of my house, because like I said, nobody even wants me at home anymore, but it's so ****.
Its the only thing I think about and my head hurts now. Like idk what to do at all.
I tried talking to my university and they keep saying it's oversubscribed but I don't think they're even considering it, and I want to have a proper conversation about it, so I can explain it to them, how I did over here. I know courses are competitive, and I don't believe I'm incapable, I just think it'll hurt my heart if I do smth that I find unfulfilling. And maths is already hard enough, it's harder if you don't find enjoyment in it, and I want to do something that I can enjoy and excel at.
I know its my choice at the end of the day, but it feels like I can't do anything.. Like whatever I do is wrong for me, so idk.
As for getting help, I don't really have anyone to turn to. My parents don't understand, esp bc i already took a gap year. I'm the oldest and I don't have any close/trusted friends to talk to like this either. Most people I talk to push uni and like I said, I don't mind going uni, I want a degree, but maths is just too much. And if I'm thinking this before I even start the course, I can't imagine what it'll be like if I'm studying it intensely for 3 years. I don't know where I can get help from anymore, maybe before I could from like teachers, but no one ever made me feel comfortable. Everyone expects someone "smart" to just get on with it.
I know what I want to do for the future, I want to go into the finance field, and I have so since like yr 11. I still do, I have an interest in money and asset management and the course I'm doing is maths with management and finance, but idk why, I'm just dreading the maths part sm. I think it's because people just make it into my personality and I'm not even into it like that. And it is a maths WITH course, so it's mainly maths.
I know dropping out won't make me a failure, but I don't even want to drop out. Regardless, if I drop out of uni, I want to drop out of a course that I actually want to do.
It's too much for me. And I need to do smth about this soon. As if I wasn't supposed to do this earlier.
I'm trying so hard to sort out this "mess" but it's like what can I do?
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.
Honestly, I know that I'm in a good position, as in I have an apprenticeship and a uni offer, but classes start soon and I do want to go to uni, it's just I don't want to do maths anymore, it's not for me, not like it used to be.
I want to pursue a degree because I know that I can, I also really do want to get out of my house, because like I said, nobody even wants me at home anymore, but it's so ****.
Its the only thing I think about and my head hurts now. Like idk what to do at all.
I tried talking to my university and they keep saying it's oversubscribed but I don't think they're even considering it, and I want to have a proper conversation about it, so I can explain it to them, how I did over here. I know courses are competitive, and I don't believe I'm incapable, I just think it'll hurt my heart if I do smth that I find unfulfilling. And maths is already hard enough, it's harder if you don't find enjoyment in it, and I want to do something that I can enjoy and excel at.
I know its my choice at the end of the day, but it feels like I can't do anything.. Like whatever I do is wrong for me, so idk.
As for getting help, I don't really have anyone to turn to. My parents don't understand, esp bc i already took a gap year. I'm the oldest and I don't have any close/trusted friends to talk to like this either. Most people I talk to push uni and like I said, I don't mind going uni, I want a degree, but maths is just too much. And if I'm thinking this before I even start the course, I can't imagine what it'll be like if I'm studying it intensely for 3 years. I don't know where I can get help from anymore, maybe before I could from like teachers, but no one ever made me feel comfortable. Everyone expects someone "smart" to just get on with it.
I know what I want to do for the future, I want to go into the finance field, and I have so since like yr 11. I still do, I have an interest in money and asset management and the course I'm doing is maths with management and finance, but idk why, I'm just dreading the maths part sm. I think it's because people just make it into my personality and I'm not even into it like that. And it is a maths WITH course, so it's mainly maths.
I know dropping out won't make me a failure, but I don't even want to drop out. Regardless, if I drop out of uni, I want to drop out of a course that I actually want to do.
It's too much for me. And I need to do smth about this soon. As if I wasn't supposed to do this earlier.
I'm trying so hard to sort out this "mess" but it's like what can I do?
Honestly, I know that I'm in a good position, as in I have an apprenticeship and a uni offer, but classes start soon and I do want to go to uni, it's just I don't want to do maths anymore, it's not for me, not like it used to be.
I want to pursue a degree because I know that I can, I also really do want to get out of my house, because like I said, nobody even wants me at home anymore, but it's so ****.
Its the only thing I think about and my head hurts now. Like idk what to do at all.
I tried talking to my university and they keep saying it's oversubscribed but I don't think they're even considering it, and I want to have a proper conversation about it, so I can explain it to them, how I did over here. I know courses are competitive, and I don't believe I'm incapable, I just think it'll hurt my heart if I do smth that I find unfulfilling. And maths is already hard enough, it's harder if you don't find enjoyment in it, and I want to do something that I can enjoy and excel at.
I know its my choice at the end of the day, but it feels like I can't do anything.. Like whatever I do is wrong for me, so idk.
As for getting help, I don't really have anyone to turn to. My parents don't understand, esp bc i already took a gap year. I'm the oldest and I don't have any close/trusted friends to talk to like this either. Most people I talk to push uni and like I said, I don't mind going uni, I want a degree, but maths is just too much. And if I'm thinking this before I even start the course, I can't imagine what it'll be like if I'm studying it intensely for 3 years. I don't know where I can get help from anymore, maybe before I could from like teachers, but no one ever made me feel comfortable. Everyone expects someone "smart" to just get on with it.
I know what I want to do for the future, I want to go into the finance field, and I have so since like yr 11. I still do, I have an interest in money and asset management and the course I'm doing is maths with management and finance, but idk why, I'm just dreading the maths part sm. I think it's because people just make it into my personality and I'm not even into it like that. And it is a maths WITH course, so it's mainly maths.
I know dropping out won't make me a failure, but I don't even want to drop out. Regardless, if I drop out of uni, I want to drop out of a course that I actually want to do.
It's too much for me. And I need to do smth about this soon. As if I wasn't supposed to do this earlier.
I'm trying so hard to sort out this "mess" but it's like what can I do?
I don't know how to explain it but it's like I fight for everything, I try so hard, and I'm so unbelievably tired of it.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know how to explain it but it's like I fight for everything, I try so hard, and I'm so unbelievably tired of it.
Hi There
We hear that you feel like you are fighting for everything right now and you are feeling unbelievably tired of it. We are wondering if you have been able to talk this through with someone that you trust. Often chatting things through can help us to navigate how we are feeling and support us to make the best next step for you 🫶
This could be with a Family Member, Friend, or someone that you trust at Uni. We understand that Uni have told you that you can’t switch courses right now but they are there to support you to balance your studies with your Mental Health. It may also be useful to reach out to the National Careers Service who may be able to give you some further advice about choosing the best Uni Course for you 🏫
You have done really well to use this space to be honest about how you are feeling. If you are feeling like suicide is an option right now then you can call Hopeline247 on 0800 068 4141 or Text us on 88247 to speak with a trained Suicide Prevention Adviser who will be more than happy to help 💟
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