The Student Room Group

struggling with settling at university.. issues with socialising/being lgbt

i just got settled at university accommodation yesterday and ever since, i've had this sort of deep feeling of regret and the sentiment that i've made some mistake coming here that i really can't shake off. i'm very naturally introverted, not only do i struggle to socialise but i'd honestly just rather not, im much happier within my own company with at the very most close family and friends. i decided to attend university purely for the sake of my career and academic interests and so chose the university best for both within the limits of my grades; and that landed me at a university i had to move for. since the idea of moving was a sorta second thought to me, the reality of it never really set in until yesterday. being forced into an almost constant social situation kills me, as like i said, i can't nor do i wanna socialise, and being in this sorta environment pulls me out of my comfort zone in a way that's beyond just 'you'll adapt/settle'. i've spent most of my life enjoying solitude besides a minimal amount of socialising needed for previous levels of schooling, and so this is a massive jump that i really didn't want.

also, this might sound silly to mention but i'm trans and i just... couldn't introduce myself as it(the environment didn't feel accepting) and so ive essentially had to reverse the past 6 months where all my closest family have accepted me and interacted with me as trans, to now forcing myself to conforming as my birth sex and having people treat me as such.. it's only been days and it's already become unbearable. i know of lgbt societies and i plan to join mine but, that feels like id just have a small amount of time as myself, before reverting back to having to conform.

im seriously struggling with these issues, ive honestly felt nothing but misery these last couple days. i know its so early but ive already considered transferring to a local university just to revert to my precious environment.. any tips/advice for my situation?
I'm in the same situation- I've been moved in for 2 days and I'm questioning whether moving out of my accommodation as well. The amount of socialising which is expected is so overwhelming and I just feel so lonely when I'm sat in my room here.But when I'm at home, I feel fine being in my own room. I know people say this feeling will pass but I personally need to make my decision soon.
Original post by Anonymous
i just got settled at university accommodation yesterday and ever since, i've had this sort of deep feeling of regret and the sentiment that i've made some mistake coming here that i really can't shake off. i'm very naturally introverted, not only do i struggle to socialise but i'd honestly just rather not, im much happier within my own company with at the very most close family and friends. i decided to attend university purely for the sake of my career and academic interests and so chose the university best for both within the limits of my grades; and that landed me at a university i had to move for. since the idea of moving was a sorta second thought to me, the reality of it never really set in until yesterday. being forced into an almost constant social situation kills me, as like i said, i can't nor do i wanna socialise, and being in this sorta environment pulls me out of my comfort zone in a way that's beyond just 'you'll adapt/settle'. i've spent most of my life enjoying solitude besides a minimal amount of socialising needed for previous levels of schooling, and so this is a massive jump that i really didn't want.

also, this might sound silly to mention but i'm trans and i just... couldn't introduce myself as it(the environment didn't feel accepting) and so ive essentially had to reverse the past 6 months where all my closest family have accepted me and interacted with me as trans, to now forcing myself to conforming as my birth sex and having people treat me as such.. it's only been days and it's already become unbearable. i know of lgbt societies and i plan to join mine but, that feels like id just have a small amount of time as myself, before reverting back to having to conform.

im seriously struggling with these issues, ive honestly felt nothing but misery these last couple days. i know its so early but ive already considered transferring to a local university just to revert to my precious environment.. any tips/advice for my situation?


In terms of social uncertainty and homesickness, this is pretty common when you first go to uni. It's actually a huge shift in your life and so takes some getting used to! I would try and take some time to settle in and try and make some attempts to engage with other people, even if it's a bit uncomfortable at first.

In terms of gender identity, remember that at uni you're totally free to identify as you choose as there are no preconceptions! Also keep in mind unis are generally pretty liberal spaces in terms of social views and so people will likely be supportive and encouraging on the whole (even outside of LGBT* societies) :smile:
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
I'm in the same situation- I've been moved in for 2 days and I'm questioning whether moving out of my accommodation as well. The amount of socialising which is expected is so overwhelming and I just feel so lonely when I'm sat in my room here.But when I'm at home, I feel fine being in my own room. I know people say this feeling will pass but I personally need to make my decision soon.

awh :/ it's at least nice to know i'm not the only person with my issue. i especially wanna find out soon because like.. surely if i leave before properly starting my loan i can just disregard it?(sorry if that's me being stupid lol)

but still.. hope you figure something out^^

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