moving to unj

hi! i moved to uni this weekend and im currently in a state of 2 minds. at the minute im really hoping its just because its the first couple of weeks but also i so badly want to go home. im beginning to think i made the wrong decision with my course. i was never 100% with the decision that i wanted to come to university but i came because i wanted to make my mum happy. however i dont want to force myself into being here for 3 years if i constantly hate it as much as i do right now. ive also got horrible anxiety and its making going in the kitchen awful, ive barely eaten since arriving. does anyone have any advice? do i stick it out another couple of weeks and if it still feels wrong drop out for this year and restart next year with something that feels more suited?

Reply 1

Liverpool Hope University

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19

Original post by eeleanorgrace

hi! i moved to uni this weekend and im currently in a state of 2 minds. at the minute im really hoping its just because its the first couple of weeks but also i so badly want to go home. im beginning to think i made the wrong decision with my course. i was never 100% with the decision that i wanted to come to university but i came because i wanted to make my mum happy. however i dont want to force myself into being here for 3 years if i constantly hate it as much as i do right now. ive also got horrible anxiety and its making going in the kitchen awful, ive barely eaten since arriving. does anyone have any advice? do i stick it out another couple of weeks and if it still feels wrong drop out for this year and restart next year with something that feels more suited?

Hi there!

I know the feeling and its really hard to know what to do.

If I were you I would stick it out a couple more weeks, often within the first month you can ask to change courses and the majority of the time this will be accommodated. The extra 2 weeks will also give you a little extra time to settle in. If you've only been there a couple days then it is likely that everything just feels a bit odd and new and unusual. It did for me and I'd moved a long way from home. I would perhaps reach out to a wellbeing assistant to the equivalent at your uni as they are there to help with the settling in nerves and they can help talk you through each processes and what might help you best. I'm sure your Mum would be happy if you made the decision that made you feel better and most comfortable, she wouldn't want you to make yourself ill from the stress and anxiety of university.

If it helps I would often go to the kitchen when I knew others were either still asleep or out so I knew there was a very limited chance at bumping into a flat mate because of my anxiety. But I still would suggest you giving it a couple more weeks and then like you said restart fresh next year. You would know what to expect if you were to restart.

I know this probably wasn't the exact advice you were looking for but ultimately only you can decide what's best for you and your wellbeing. Having said that i hope what I've said helps and that it makes you feel slightly better that your not the only person who has felt/feels like this when they first move away to uni.

Please do speak to someone at your university though so they can be aware and make your you are looking after yourself and can talk you through your options. It will be confidential so you don't have to worry about others finding out unless its mentioned otherwise. It may just help knowing someone is looking out for you.

I hope it gets easier soon.
Daisy- Graduate Advocate 🙂

Reply 2

WrexhamUniReps

Official Rep

16

Original post by eeleanorgrace

hi! i moved to uni this weekend and im currently in a state of 2 minds. at the minute im really hoping its just because its the first couple of weeks but also i so badly want to go home. im beginning to think i made the wrong decision with my course. i was never 100% with the decision that i wanted to come to university but i came because i wanted to make my mum happy. however i dont want to force myself into being here for 3 years if i constantly hate it as much as i do right now. ive also got horrible anxiety and its making going in the kitchen awful, ive barely eaten since arriving. does anyone have any advice? do i stick it out another couple of weeks and if it still feels wrong drop out for this year and restart next year with something that feels more suited?

Hi

I totally understand how you feel.

If I was you, I would stick it out a couple more weeks and see how it goes. In terms of the course, you could always contact your university admissions department to see if they would be able to make the switch for you.

I would try to go into the kitchen as much as possible to try and get myself more comfortable in that environment, as well as this it may make it easier to have a chat with that particular person flatmate as you will be socialising together in that communal space.

I hope that helps,

Matt
Wrexham Uni Reps

Reply 3

UCLan Student

Official Rep

16

Original post by eeleanorgrace

hi! i moved to uni this weekend and im currently in a state of 2 minds. at the minute im really hoping its just because its the first couple of weeks but also i so badly want to go home. im beginning to think i made the wrong decision with my course. i was never 100% with the decision that i wanted to come to university but i came because i wanted to make my mum happy. however i dont want to force myself into being here for 3 years if i constantly hate it as much as i do right now. ive also got horrible anxiety and its making going in the kitchen awful, ive barely eaten since arriving. does anyone have any advice? do i stick it out another couple of weeks and if it still feels wrong drop out for this year and restart next year with something that feels more suited?

Hi @eeleanorgrace ,

I completely understand how you feel. Many students, myself included don't realise how many of us are in the same boat. Moving to university and out of your parents home is a big change. Give yourself some more time, I know being patient and letting time do it's thing helped me a lot. 🙂

I'd suggest going to the kitchen and just putting yourself out there. You might make some great connections with your flat mates. Being an introvert myself, I got anxious going into the kitchen to begin with but then I realised the kitchen is my space as well as everyone else's. So, I then stopped only going into it when others weren't in there.

Hope this helps,
Jakub- Fashion promotion graduate

Reply 4

UCLan Student

Official Rep

16

Original post by eeleanorgrace

hi! i moved to uni this weekend and im currently in a state of 2 minds. at the minute im really hoping its just because its the first couple of weeks but also i so badly want to go home. im beginning to think i made the wrong decision with my course. i was never 100% with the decision that i wanted to come to university but i came because i wanted to make my mum happy. however i dont want to force myself into being here for 3 years if i constantly hate it as much as i do right now. ive also got horrible anxiety and its making going in the kitchen awful, ive barely eaten since arriving. does anyone have any advice? do i stick it out another couple of weeks and if it still feels wrong drop out for this year and restart next year with something that feels more suited?

Hi @eeleanorgrace ,

I completely understand your situation. When I began university, all I wanted to do was go back home and I wasn't too sure on my choice of degree. However I decided to stick it out and it was the best decision I made. I met loads of amazing people, began to love my course and decided to make plans to visit home regularly.

I agree with the rest of the advice given here to far, I would recommend sticking it out for a bit longer. Also I recommend trying to switch course if you know you will not enjoy your choice. Also remember university isn't for everyone and you shouldn't have to go just to make other people happy. You should be studying or doing what makes you happy, as this is a step into your career. I know many people who are successful who haven't got a degree, however I also know many people who have thrived and benefited from having a degree.

I recommend taking your time and deciding what's best for you and the career you desire. 🙂

Please feel free to ask me any questions, good luck with university,
-Sophia (Business and Management)

moving to unj

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