Don't necessarily "click" with most of my flatmates

I've moved into my accomodation last Saturday. I've met all my flatmates, who are luckily quite nice and do their best to keep the communal areas tidy and clean so far. However, most of my flatmates love to go out every night, to pubs or clubs, which really isn't my thing. Most also seem to be more on the extroverted side (bar one who just stays in their rooms for virtually the entire day). I do make small talk with my flatmates in the kitchen and have had some nice conversations, but I don't think we have a lot in common when it comes to our interests and personalities. I did go out with a couple flatmates to explore the campus and go into my city too, and whilst the experience was nice and a good experience I don't feel there's any natural chemistry between us.

I do plan on joining societies (could be good to find like-minded people), and I've done some ice breaker activities between some course-mates which were really fun (and I could see myself befriending lots of people there due to the similarities I share with some), I've even gained a couple of contacts already from those.

I was wondering if it's normal that flatmates continue having such a close relationship together throughout the year, or are they only close because societies and courses haven't properly started? I was curious to see if I were the only person experiencing this. Thank you :smile:

Reply 1

Liverpool Hope University

Official Rep

Original post by LoafOfBread05

I've moved into my accomodation last Saturday. I've met all my flatmates, who are luckily quite nice and do their best to keep the communal areas tidy and clean so far. However, most of my flatmates love to go out every night, to pubs or clubs, which really isn't my thing. Most also seem to be more on the extroverted side (bar one who just stays in their rooms for virtually the entire day). I do make small talk with my flatmates in the kitchen and have had some nice conversations, but I don't think we have a lot in common when it comes to our interests and personalities. I did go out with a couple flatmates to explore the campus and go into my city too, and whilst the experience was nice and a good experience I don't feel there's any natural chemistry between us.
I do plan on joining societies (could be good to find like-minded people), and I've done some ice breaker activities between some course-mates which were really fun (and I could see myself befriending lots of people there due to the similarities I share with some), I've even gained a couple of contacts already from those.
I was wondering if it's normal that flatmates continue having such a close relationship together throughout the year, or are they only close because societies and courses haven't properly started? I was curious to see if I were the only person experiencing this. Thank you :smile:

Hi there!

I wouldn't worry too much. I had the exact same relationship with my flat mates, they were all lovely people we just didn't 'click' as you said. I would say however it is only the beginning so dynamics will fluctuate between everyone.

Once courses and societies are back in full swing it will get you out of the flat more and connecting with so many other people that it wont matter if you don't spend much time with those you live with. I imagine all your time tables are different anyway.

It's definitely good that you are getting on with course mates already and are looking forward to joining societies- they are some of the best ways to make life-long friends. Some people do just naturally click and others don't and that's ok, don't let it dishearten you just cause you don't 'click' as well as others, you will find plenty of people within university that you do instantly 'click' with.

I hope that helps.
Daisy- Graduate Advocate🙂

Reply 2

IkathleenI

Original post by LoafOfBread05

I've moved into my accomodation last Saturday. I've met all my flatmates, who are luckily quite nice and do their best to keep the communal areas tidy and clean so far. However, most of my flatmates love to go out every night, to pubs or clubs, which really isn't my thing. Most also seem to be more on the extroverted side (bar one who just stays in their rooms for virtually the entire day). I do make small talk with my flatmates in the kitchen and have had some nice conversations, but I don't think we have a lot in common when it comes to our interests and personalities. I did go out with a couple flatmates to explore the campus and go into my city too, and whilst the experience was nice and a good experience I don't feel there's any natural chemistry between us.
I do plan on joining societies (could be good to find like-minded people), and I've done some ice breaker activities between some course-mates which were really fun (and I could see myself befriending lots of people there due to the similarities I share with some), I've even gained a couple of contacts already from those.
I was wondering if it's normal that flatmates continue having such a close relationship together throughout the year, or are they only close because societies and courses haven't properly started? I was curious to see if I were the only person experiencing this. Thank you :smile:

completely get this, I moved in a day ago and have tried to talk to flatmates and even though they're nice enough they're not people I naturally gel with. I'm not a massive drinker either and would much rather stay in than go out. I'm just going to join societies and meet people in my course, friends will come eventually if you put yourself out there. flatmates unfortunately aren't always going to be your people and that's completely okay, some people get lucky and end up being really good friends with them but unfortunately a lot of it is based on luck. just be cordial with them but don't force a connection if there isn't one.

Reply 3

Trinculo

If you don't end the year openly hostile to first year flatmates, you can count that as a win.

Reply 4

SamuelOctopus

You're going to meet loads of people like this throughout your life. It's sometimes better to see whether you can make it work and learn from your mistakes, so you're ready for when you need to make friends at work etc...

Reply 5

WrexhamUniReps

Official Rep

Original post by LoafOfBread05

I've moved into my accomodation last Saturday. I've met all my flatmates, who are luckily quite nice and do their best to keep the communal areas tidy and clean so far. However, most of my flatmates love to go out every night, to pubs or clubs, which really isn't my thing. Most also seem to be more on the extroverted side (bar one who just stays in their rooms for virtually the entire day). I do make small talk with my flatmates in the kitchen and have had some nice conversations, but I don't think we have a lot in common when it comes to our interests and personalities. I did go out with a couple flatmates to explore the campus and go into my city too, and whilst the experience was nice and a good experience I don't feel there's any natural chemistry between us.
I do plan on joining societies (could be good to find like-minded people), and I've done some ice breaker activities between some course-mates which were really fun (and I could see myself befriending lots of people there due to the similarities I share with some), I've even gained a couple of contacts already from those.
I was wondering if it's normal that flatmates continue having such a close relationship together throughout the year, or are they only close because societies and courses haven't properly started? I was curious to see if I were the only person experiencing this. Thank you :smile:

Hi,

Please don't worry at all it is totally normal.

As others have said as the year goes on some people may click with each other better than others, and this can be from really simple things like going to class together and due to this they spend more time with each other so naturally get on better than others in the flat.

Please don't let this put you off - you will find your people!

I hope this helps,

Matt
Wrexham Uni Reps

Reply 6

FayeYSJ

Original post by LoafOfBread05

I've moved into my accomodation last Saturday. I've met all my flatmates, who are luckily quite nice and do their best to keep the communal areas tidy and clean so far. However, most of my flatmates love to go out every night, to pubs or clubs, which really isn't my thing. Most also seem to be more on the extroverted side (bar one who just stays in their rooms for virtually the entire day). I do make small talk with my flatmates in the kitchen and have had some nice conversations, but I don't think we have a lot in common when it comes to our interests and personalities. I did go out with a couple flatmates to explore the campus and go into my city too, and whilst the experience was nice and a good experience I don't feel there's any natural chemistry between us.
I do plan on joining societies (could be good to find like-minded people), and I've done some ice breaker activities between some course-mates which were really fun (and I could see myself befriending lots of people there due to the similarities I share with some), I've even gained a couple of contacts already from those.
I was wondering if it's normal that flatmates continue having such a close relationship together throughout the year, or are they only close because societies and courses haven't properly started? I was curious to see if I were the only person experiencing this. Thank you :smile:

Hi!
This is totally normal, I felt the same way in my first year. You will meet people, like you said, at societies and on your course, or you will grow closer to your flatmates over time. Many people don't click with their flatmates straight away but as the term properly starts you will have many more opportunities to make friends.

Hope this helps! Faye 🙂

Reply 7

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post by LoafOfBread05

I've moved into my accomodation last Saturday. I've met all my flatmates, who are luckily quite nice and do their best to keep the communal areas tidy and clean so far. However, most of my flatmates love to go out every night, to pubs or clubs, which really isn't my thing. Most also seem to be more on the extroverted side (bar one who just stays in their rooms for virtually the entire day). I do make small talk with my flatmates in the kitchen and have had some nice conversations, but I don't think we have a lot in common when it comes to our interests and personalities. I did go out with a couple flatmates to explore the campus and go into my city too, and whilst the experience was nice and a good experience I don't feel there's any natural chemistry between us.
I do plan on joining societies (could be good to find like-minded people), and I've done some ice breaker activities between some course-mates which were really fun (and I could see myself befriending lots of people there due to the similarities I share with some), I've even gained a couple of contacts already from those.
I was wondering if it's normal that flatmates continue having such a close relationship together throughout the year, or are they only close because societies and courses haven't properly started? I was curious to see if I were the only person experiencing this. Thank you :smile:

Hi there,

This really depends on each individual person/each flat, but from my experience I found that people who were really close at first tended to drift apart a bit when they start to get other friends through societies and course etc. While they might stay friends, they might not be this close for the whole year.

Making friends in your flat is only one way of making friends so don't let this put you off making friends as there will be so many other ways of meeting people. When your course starts, you will meet so many people this way which is great as there will be lots of new people so try and talk to them and ask them if they want to do anything with you. I found my closest friends on my course so there will be lots of people for you to make friends with.

Joining a society is a great idea too and you will make lots of friends this way! Have a look at the welcome week fair if there are any you are interested in and make sure you think about signing up to them as they are great ways of making friends.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 8

University of Portsmouth Student Rep

Original post by LoafOfBread05

I've moved into my accomodation last Saturday. I've met all my flatmates, who are luckily quite nice and do their best to keep the communal areas tidy and clean so far. However, most of my flatmates love to go out every night, to pubs or clubs, which really isn't my thing. Most also seem to be more on the extroverted side (bar one who just stays in their rooms for virtually the entire day). I do make small talk with my flatmates in the kitchen and have had some nice conversations, but I don't think we have a lot in common when it comes to our interests and personalities. I did go out with a couple flatmates to explore the campus and go into my city too, and whilst the experience was nice and a good experience I don't feel there's any natural chemistry between us.
I do plan on joining societies (could be good to find like-minded people), and I've done some ice breaker activities between some course-mates which were really fun (and I could see myself befriending lots of people there due to the similarities I share with some), I've even gained a couple of contacts already from those.
I was wondering if it's normal that flatmates continue having such a close relationship together throughout the year, or are they only close because societies and courses haven't properly started? I was curious to see if I were the only person experiencing this. Thank you :smile:

Hi there!

It's great that you've made some plans to join societies and get involved once things start up for term time properly. Personally, I found student groups and societies the best way to meet people throughout university, even beyond freshers - so don't be afraid to keep trying new things until you find something you love!

In my experience, how you get on with your flatmates varies person-to-person, but the great thing about joining a society is that you already have a common interest with the other people there! Overall, I would encourage you to engage with those societies you've thought about joining, and it's great that you've already met some people you get on with there!

You'll meet so many people throughout your time at university, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself to find "your people" straight away, particularly as you have been at uni for such a short time. Through joining student groups and getting involved with things that interest you, in time you can make some great connections!

Best of luck with starting your degree, I hope this helps!

Eryn - Portsmouth Student Rep 🙂