How to deal with parents?
Hey, I'm a 19 year old whose parents are muslim. I am a practicing one too but honestly I move away from the religion each day. My parents are SUPER strict (no seeing friends, they have to decide if I can be friends with someone, I wasn't able to move out for uni even tho I got into prestigious unis, check my phone etc..) Honestly I am so tired mentally of all their rules and controlling behaviour, now they want me to wear shirts/blouses that over my knee? It's not like I dress immodestly. I recently got diagnosed with a condition where I am not allowed to stress too much (last time I did I had seizures). I just don't know how to cope? I feel like i live 2 lives (ofc I sneak out to see friends, have social media behind their back, change into normal clothes like a normal sized jumper). I don't want to leave them as it will ruin my relationship with them forever but I also cannot cope like this. Please give me actual advice not just pray/make dua. Thanks
Salam, Im really sorry you are going through this. Your parents behaviour seems wrong and its unfair for them to have unrealistic standards of you that you cant live up to. I'm sure you are trying your best.
Its especially concerning if this is having an impact on your health. Maybe you could start by telling your GP you want a referral for counselling due to 'stress' especially given the health impact. You can even request someone who is also muslim / same ethnic background if you feel they will understand you better. This could be a safe space for you to discuss your situation and seek advice from a professional without directly confronting your parents if you dont feel ready to do that.
If you have any aunties or uncles, older role models who you also feel you could trust and reach out to, maybe they could have a word with your parents or even just be someone you could talk to, that could also benefit you. But I understand that may not apply in your situation. Obviously thats a practical step you can take, but then Im sure you know dua is important on top of that. Allah puts those he loves in difficult situations so please hold on to your faith as much as you can, I know its hard.
May Allah make it easier for you.
Its especially concerning if this is having an impact on your health. Maybe you could start by telling your GP you want a referral for counselling due to 'stress' especially given the health impact. You can even request someone who is also muslim / same ethnic background if you feel they will understand you better. This could be a safe space for you to discuss your situation and seek advice from a professional without directly confronting your parents if you dont feel ready to do that.
If you have any aunties or uncles, older role models who you also feel you could trust and reach out to, maybe they could have a word with your parents or even just be someone you could talk to, that could also benefit you. But I understand that may not apply in your situation. Obviously thats a practical step you can take, but then Im sure you know dua is important on top of that. Allah puts those he loves in difficult situations so please hold on to your faith as much as you can, I know its hard.
May Allah make it easier for you.
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