Hi there,
It sounds like what is happening for you right now is quite overwhelming. Thank you for being able to share this and putting it into words. You deserve to have support to share what is happening and sharing that stress so it is not just on you.
If you have thoughts of suicide please do reach out to us on 0800 068 4141 or text us on 88247 so you can connect with a suicide prevention adviser and get some support 💜