The Student Room Group

toxic relationship with my parents

I've decided to live at home for university as I live nearby but now I can't help but regret it as I have a toxic relationship with both my parents (I think).
My mum tends to be quite mean to me and seemingly enjoys putting me down and getting angry at me for the littlest thing but then showering my twin brother with love despite him being objectively worse than me in terms of behaviour and chores (he has some better qualities obviously, I don't believe either of us are better than the other personally), the unfair treatment makes me feel so disregarded. My situation with my mum used to be so much worse when I was younger as the shouting and constant berating used to be all the time but it cooled down when I told her about my social anxiety. Nowadays it just feels like I'm walking on egg shells with her and I have to watch everything that I say and do when I'm around her, but I still love her and I always try to do things that will make her like me more. (Unfortunately I do resent my brother due to the favouritism).
With my dad, he and my mum don't have a good relationship and despite being married, don't actually love each other in that sense, they are very distant and get into arguments quite often, my dad then often comes to me and talks about how he wants to leave and how badly my mum treats him, I can see what he is saying but I don't like hearing those things but I feel for him.

The reason why I didn't think about this earlier is because I like to make myself believe that it will get better in that situation but then something happens where my reality hits me over the head and I spiral a bit.

I don't think I worded this correctly but I don't really know how to put it into words and I realise I may sound like every other teenager complaining about their parents and thinking that it is worse than what it is but it is bad and I don't really want to go into 100% detail.

How do I get around the accommodation thing? Please help
Original post by Anonymous
I've decided to live at home for university as I live nearby but now I can't help but regret it as I have a toxic relationship with both my parents (I think).
My mum tends to be quite mean to me and seemingly enjoys putting me down and getting angry at me for the littlest thing but then showering my twin brother with love despite him being objectively worse than me in terms of behaviour and chores (he has some better qualities obviously, I don't believe either of us are better than the other personally), the unfair treatment makes me feel so disregarded. My situation with my mum used to be so much worse when I was younger as the shouting and constant berating used to be all the time but it cooled down when I told her about my social anxiety. Nowadays it just feels like I'm walking on egg shells with her and I have to watch everything that I say and do when I'm around her, but I still love her and I always try to do things that will make her like me more. (Unfortunately I do resent my brother due to the favouritism).
With my dad, he and my mum don't have a good relationship and despite being married, don't actually love each other in that sense, they are very distant and get into arguments quite often, my dad then often comes to me and talks about how he wants to leave and how badly my mum treats him, I can see what he is saying but I don't like hearing those things but I feel for him.
The reason why I didn't think about this earlier is because I like to make myself believe that it will get better in that situation but then something happens where my reality hits me over the head and I spiral a bit.
I don't think I worded this correctly but I don't really know how to put it into words and I realise I may sound like every other teenager complaining about their parents and thinking that it is worse than what it is but it is bad and I don't really want to go into 100% detail.
How do I get around the accommodation thing? Please help


Hi, may I ask what University you are attending as I got an accommodation that I need someone to take over as I am living in a different one now.
yep I can relate to the most part, I’ve got a step parent tho. I’ve got anxiety too and though they all know no one cares hence why I stayed in my room for the better part of my teenage years which I don’t recommend since it looses the connection you once had. You are not the problem and you can’t wait on her to accept you so do you and she’ll probably realise her mistakes on day

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