Feeling socially isolated after first year at uni

I don't really want to go back to the second year, but I guess I will... The problem is that I feel socially isolated there

I only made one friend, and then a new girl came in the middle of the year and basically forcefully stole her. Now I'm almost always alone.

Also, since it's an arts college, I expected to see fellow queer people, but it turns out that everyone in my group is straight, like girls in white Nike Air Force with orange faces and guys who listen to rap and draw graffiti.

I’m also a foreigner (as you can see by my spelling lol)

I tried to transfer to other college where one of my old friends studying but my request was rejected

What should I do to feel better? Really disappointed

Reply 1

HonestStudent

Original post by Anonymous

I don't really want to go back to the second year, but I guess I will... The problem is that I feel socially isolated there
I only made one friend, and then a new girl came in the middle of the year and basically forcefully stole her. Now I'm almost always alone.
Also, since it's an arts college, I expected to see fellow queer people, but it turns out that everyone in my group is straight, like girls in white Nike Air Force with orange faces and guys who listen to rap and draw graffiti.
I’m also a foreigner (as you can see by my spelling lol)
I tried to transfer to other college where one of my old friends studying but my request was rejected
What should I do to feel better? Really disappointed

I'm a little confused as your topic says university but you then mention problems transferring to a college. Maybe it's just a language issue but college is usually very different from university in the UK. Though occasionally, there's a higher education institution that calls itself college of something (usually an arts one), just to make things confusing. I'm going to answer as though you're at university but some of this may also apply to college. Also your spelling is fine.

I'm sorry that you're feeling so isolated. Here's what I'd suggest:

Perhaps consider counselling. You university may have some. You may feel it's not necessary at the moment but at some universities, the waiting lists can be long, so it's probably better to start the process before you feel too bad. It won't give you friends but it may help you deal with your feelings.

Anyway, as for the practical things:

If your university has an international society, join it. Even if you don't meet people from your country, you will probably meet students in a similar situation to yours.

If you have time, it may be useful to also join another society specifically about your interests. There might be an LGBTQ+ society.

If your university doesn't have a particular society, you may be able to start one. Alternatively, some other universities allow you to join their societies if you're not registered at their university. They have different criteria - some let students from any other university join, some let students from other universities join if their own university doesn't have a particular society but the other university does. I've had mixed experiences with this - a group at one university was very elitist (and seemed a bit exploitative, doing that whole "let's split the bill" thing in a group when some people have only ordered fries and then getting moody if someone wants to pay their own bill) and a group at another university was very friendly and welcoming generally.

Anyway, they can be good for getting to know people.

Regardless of your religion, if your university has a chaplaincy, it can be worth speaking to the chaplain there. The Christian ones seem to be particularly good at listening - they're not like those people you may have occasionally seen shouting horrible things in the street. They won't have a problem with you being LGBTQ+. They may not be able to help you practically but it can be nice to sit down and have an informal chat with them.

Also, take plenty of breaks from studying (obviously do enough work too). Enjoy the fresh air. And if there's nothing at the university that interests you, see which groups are in the local area.

And I'm sorry someone stole your friend. It sucks.

(edited 10 months ago)

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Articles for you

63 things students wish they had known about university

Can’t get law work experience? Try these seven ways to boost your CV

Try out the app

Continue on web