In a Western society arranged marriages should no longer be tolerated.
Set against the backdrop of many Asian cultures, preceding the 21st century, the idea of arranged marriages has unironically lost popularity proportionally with the changing times. The impetus for parents finding and providing suitors for their children could be expressed by a myriad of factors, yet the consequences of this often manifests in one of a few ways. Not to be confused with forced marriages, the concept of arranging marriages is not exclusive to south Asia, though, prevalent in this geographic region. Perhaps, this ideology has thrived for centuries due to the opportunity it grants to continually empower and maintain lineage, it can also perpetuate harm when it restricts freedom, education and potentially gives way to abuse.
Though this tradition in the west is less practiced, its decrease in popularity can be attributed to namely the growth in acknowledgement of feminist sentiments. Though, male children can often be subjected to arranged marriages, the internalised misogyny in many traditional homes render girls more vulnerable and susceptible to the expectations of abiding to these marriages. More so, due to the familial hierarchy, while arranged marriages aren’t inherently forced, the foundations are similar so the act of arranging your child is likened to a transfer of ownership and authority. This essentially, objectifies the ‘participating’ party and leaves them with very little choices that doesn’t disturb the natural structure of the family. Furthermore, arranged marriages also have the reputation of interfering with studies and demanding an increase in levels of maturity that is typically demanded over a prolonged time span. This can ultimately be damaging for the development of the child and potentially reinforce a perpetual cycle for the potential child that is a result of the arranged marriage.
Though some may argue that arranged marriages can strengthen familial connections and keep the power in the family. While this is not inherently incorrect, it can by the same coin place strains on family connections, causing a divide that essentially goes against the sole purpose of the arranged marriage. These divides can lead to a sense of futility, hostility and dissatisfaction within marriages, paving way for a poignant life and perhaps even resentment between the partners. As well as demanding an increased level of maturity, it also discredits the child’s sense of decision making and confidence in choosing a suitable partner. While this doesn’t necessarily create familial divides between two sides of the family, it allows for hostility and a lack of confidence outside the familial sphere. This can be evident through low self-esteem, or the toxicity of family being reflected in relationships outside the family.
Finally, arranged marriages present the potential for abuse later in the union. Due to the lack of familiarity in many arranged marriages, the partners often do not know the past of their spouse and can very often become a victim of unchecked and underlying problems. If arranged marriages were entirely made from love, this would render them useless and negligible due to the fact individuals could find their own partners, not reliant on their parents. This subsequently conveys the notion that most parents are influenced by wealth, title or power which leaves children essentially at the mercy of a stranger. This depicts the selfishness behind the idea of arranged marriages as it places the child on the forefront and face of potential abuse just for the potential gain of listed qualities that the child would barely benefit from if they did become the unfortunate victim of abuse.
Conclusively, while arranged marriages do provide the potential for a continuation of a healthy lineage, this is ultimately anchored down by is ability to perpetuate harm and continue a cycle of abuse, repression and hostility which advocates in the past fought to change.