Help Please

Thanks for the advice, I've just finished making note of everything I can remember.
Do you know of any organisations relevant to this which I could contact? There's quite a few online so I'm not sure which is the best one to contact

The Halo project seems to be the best one so I'll probably give them a call tomorrow

Hello, just to address one point of yours, when you say, "At the same time I'm not sure if the police would take this seriously since it's all online" - I have been in a not-so-different situation.
I was in contact with someone on TSR who lived in an abusive household, and I wrote to the police. If you go to the website of the relevant police force (say it was Sussex Police, for example), you can click the "Report" button, then the "See all reporting services" button, then the "Tell us about something you've seen or heard" button, and then the "Request something else" button. If I am remembering correctly, this will let you write quite a long message to the police, explaining the situation as you have done here. But, they may take up to two days to read the report, so you could click "Report" and then report it under "Domestic Abuse", which coercing someone into marriage is. They will not be annoyed with you, or think your concerns are trivial.
In my case, they listened to what I had to say, and sent someone round to the person I was in contact with.
I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sorry you're in this situation.

Hello, just to address one point of yours, when you say, "At the same time I'm not sure if the police would take this seriously since it's all online" - I have been in a not-so-different situation.
I was in contact with someone on TSR who lived in an abusive household, and I wrote to the police. If you go to the website of the relevant police force (say it was Sussex Police, for example), you can click the "Report" button, then the "See all reporting services" button, then the "Tell us about something you've seen or heard" button, and then the "Request something else" button. If I am remembering correctly, this will let you write quite a long message to the police, explaining the situation as you have done here. But, they may take up to two days to read the report, so you could click "Report" and then report it under "Domestic Abuse", which coercing someone into marriage is. They will not be annoyed with you, or think your concerns are trivial.
In my case, they listened to what I had to say, and sent someone round to the person I was in contact with.
I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sorry you're in this situation.

There are also the Southall Black Sisters, which is an organisation and /or safe house for women in these kind of situations (domestic abuse, forced marriages etc.), and they are acutely aware of issues specific to South Asian communities.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and share your advice. I’ve been worried about her so much and it’s so reassuring to know that she can get help if I act quickly. I’m just concerned about the implications it will have on her siblings/household due to her siblings being so young but then again it’s only a matter of a few years until her sisters are older and then all of this gets repeated again. I’ll speak to the Halo project tomorrow and then after that I’ll consider going ahead and reporting it to the police. Thank you once again for your advice, I appreciate it

wow... you should never do that. do you know how much trouble that person could get with their partner or family because of your actions? why would you intervene in their life anyway? unless they are a minor, that's straight up crazy

I have read enough of your posts on this website over the years to know your opinion on these sorts of matters, and to know that it is blinkered and wrong.
Just because someone isn't a minor, they don't deserve to be abused. In my case, I contacted the police about a vulnerable young adult who was being starved and financially abused by their parents. They won part of their money back in the small claims court, and they weren't left without food again. I consider their continued existence proof of having done the right thing.

No problem in the least, I hope dearly that you hear from her soon.
I completely understand your concerns about her siblings and household (and it's admirable of you to think of the wider implications), but the way I perceive the matter is that her parents are the ones in the wrong, and as such, they have brought any consequences upon themselves: you bringing anything to the attention of the relevant authorities is doing a good deed, and leaving those capable of acting in full knowledge of the situation. 🙂
I was glad to read your update post. In my case, whilst I didn't know the address, I knew the college the person had attended, and I was able to point the police in that direction, in case the person's address was still on file, which I suppose it must have been. And the college could have given a surname, at which point there might be household records - I'm not sure if the Yellow Pages still exist anymore, but I suppose people's addresses can't be too hard to find for the police, when given a full name. Good luck with everything, you are doing the right thing

That actually helps a lot. So I contacted TSR again but this time I did it in a different way but actually got a reply. They said they can't share any information from user to user but will see what they can do. I'm not surprised about the fact they can't share anything from user to user but the fact they're cooperating gives me hope because if the police contact TSR then hopefully they can hand over any information they have which will massively help in tracking her down.
Thanks for your help and I'll keep you posted as things develop since you have gone through something similar so maybe you can help at any point I get stuck. I'm definitely going to keep in mind what you said about finding their place of education because all though she's not currently in university, she did get accepted into one close to where she lives so if we can find that university we can find out where she lives.

So I did some digging and found her old posts and figured out which university she got into and which course she was enrolled on. I've contacted the Halo project and they told me to go straight to the police with this information so I did that. The police took so long to get things sorted that it was past 5pm and the universities office had closed so now they'll contact the university on Monday hopefully. To be honest the police didn't even really seem to be bothered and even though I had given them so much information that they could EASILY find her with, they were still saying we can't do much with this info since we don't have a surname or phone number. It's so frustrating because the police have the authority to get her personal details from the university and the fact I know her first name, background and the exact uni course switches she did along with her grades makes it so easy for them to identify her if they contact the uni. The Halo Project were so much more helpful than the police and honestly it's just so frustrating and annoying because it's been a week since I heard from her and next week she'll be moving to Sheffield which will then make it pretty much impossible to locate her. The police contacting the university in Scotland is literally our only hope and best bet at this point. I forgot to mention to them that if they contact TSR they might be able to get her email but I guess I'll just have to wait until they next ring me to tell them that.

Okay so as I typed that I realised I should probably tell the police about the TSR thing so I rang them and I did and they said it's easier for them to get that stuff from the Uni so contacting TSR will be a backup. I feel like I was a bit harsh on the police in my last post and to be honest they are doing what they can. I guess I'm just really frustrated at the moment, that's all.

That actually helps a lot. So I contacted TSR again but this time I did it in a different way but actually got a reply. They said they can't share any information from user to user but will see what they can do. I'm not surprised about the fact they can't share anything from user to user but the fact they're cooperating gives me hope because if the police contact TSR then hopefully they can hand over any information they have which will massively help in tracking her down.
Thanks for your help and I'll keep you posted as things develop since you have gone through something similar so maybe you can help at any point I get stuck. I'm definitely going to keep in mind what you said about finding their place of education because all though she's not currently in university, she did get accepted into one close to where she lives so if we can find that university we can find out where she lives.

🙂 Thank you for your updates, and I'm very glad to have been able to help.
With regard to the police, and the new information you were able to give them, I wouldn't worry about them not seeming bothered. It's their duty and responsibility to look into issues raised, and even if they didn't seem as though they think it pressing (which is a shame, because having a good 'bedside manner', as it were, ought to be a part of all important professions), I am sure they will look into the matter as thoroughly as they can. In my case, I sent off this written explanation of everything that had happened, knowing how tenuous it seemed (given it was all online, on a forum, and behind usernames - and I only knew the rough area in which the person lived, thanks to the college), and they went and checked on the person the very next day: they acted far quicker, and to a far better degree than I had expected. But of course, all cases will be different, and I don't mean to say that this is exactly what will happen in your scenario.
It could be the case that the police don't want to get your hopes up - and they do have to speak tentatively, as there's never a guarantee of finding someone - but I agree, with the information you've given, it should be quite simple and straightforward. But hopefully that means that when they get to looking into the matter, behind closed doors, that will be apparent to them.
I should say as well, in my case, I only knew the police had acted, because the person mentioned it to me. I was never updated again by the police - I don't know if your case will be different, but they might perceive it as a matter of you providing some information, and them looking into it, with no need to update you.
And, as another note, I would add that there are lots of unknowns to your situation. I know you know that (and I don't mean to be irritating!), but what I mean to say is, sometimes things happen that seem incredibly unlikely - perhaps she decided to delete TSR of her own volition, fearing her parents would check her phone, and knowing she'd re-download it in a week or two. Or, perhaps she smashed her phone, and is waiting for a repair / replacement. Of course, with the information about her parents, and with the worries you had, I believe you've done exactly the right thing in alerting the authorities - all I mean to say is, with so many unknowns, there could be a far simpler explanation to everything, and maybe all is alright (or, as alright as it can be with those sort of parents). But of course, we can't know either way.
Whatever the case, you have acted sensibly and quickly 🙂