Sometimes I think I'm not a relationship material

1.

"I don't like to compromise on one hand and to miss opportunities on the other hand" - this sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it. All healthy relationships are about compromise. It's something I really struggle with myself, and has taken a lot of damn work to sort out. Inability or unwillingness to compromise is quite a big flag. I'll come back to this point later.

2.

People 'cheat' because they either lack empathy altogether, or are experiencing a temporary dip in their empathy towards their partner (perhaps following an argument) and because they also lack the principles to do what is right regardless of their temperamental mood swings. One of their popular excuses I've sometimes heard is "needs are needs". This ought to tell you a lot about their mindset - they are primarily only interested in having their own needs met, not in meeting the needs of others. Their mindset and priorities are fundamentally selfish, and they often project and assume that everyone else is the same way, which is not true. For instance, their definitely exist people who aren't selfish enough, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I won't go on, because this is a huge topic otherwise. Just to clarify, I do not consider 'polyamory' as cheating, as I understand it to mean that all participants are aware of the arrangement and consent to it.

3.

Your interpretation of using different people like puzzle pieces to work your way up to 100% "completeness" is not what my original point was, and I'm not sure I agree. It is complicated to explain. It depends a lot on the individual. Introverts 'recharge' in solitude for instance, whereas extroverts 'recharge' around other people. I'm an introvert, so that's the perspective I was taking. I'm not sure I have the energy right now to labour the point. Mainly what I wanted to say, is that what you describe is typical of almost anybody. It's what people have different friends for, for instance. It is perfectly normal, and I don't really see what 'polyamory' has to do with it or why someone would resort to 'polyamory' to accomplish this goal. Most people that are in a stable and happy relationship, have other friends whom they see in their own time, and it is all perfectly platonic and acceptable.

1.

I think you understand what I meant. Being with only one person is kind of a big compromise if you find some other relationships to complete the puzzle. Every relationship is a compromise, that's why poly is even more difficult, but once you do it right it is the best thing ever (at least for me).

2.

Actually a good point. I'm not completely selfish, that's why I let them go, they'd do better with someone else who fits them better. I talk to my partner before adding another relationship and we discuss what is better. Sometimes separation is the best way.

3.

Some introverts recharge with ONE person. I need ONE person ate a time. Good sex is a good recharge, good conversation is a good recharge, a proper support when needed is a good recharge. I would love to if ONE person could fulfill all that. However, it doesn't work.
I guess we are different types of introverts. I can't recharge in a company. I even prefer watching a movie with one person and not in a company. And I do need my time alone a lot. That's why I love my job where I can be alone quiet a lot. I also get really tired socializing outside of my core group, even if the event is enjoyable. Sometimes people don't understand that, I can act really social and enjoy the event but once I get home I need a long rest. Also, that's why I'm not looking for more than 3 relationships. I wouldn't handle so much.
Puzzle is a thing I thought about because my needs are not something I want to compromise on. I'm not that sexual as other girls I know, but I'm a human being, I need that too. If I don't really enjoy it, I prefer not to have sex at all. I can go on and on about the puzzle thing... I think it fit my pervious relationship, if I find another relationship maybe the puzzle thing won't fit it. Maybe I would not need it.

1.

You might only meet, say, 60% of each others' needs initially. However, most people change and adapt to their environment, which includes the people around them. They learn to meet each others' needs. This can be a good or a bad thing, in some cases. Surrounding yourself with drug addicts for example, makes you far more likely to become one of them. My point is... people who just get stuck at that 60%, and I will use blunt language, are not 'normal'. Such an inability or reluctance to compromise can be a good or a bad thing (depending what it is), but is unusual. But certainly, in my view, if you are looking for a deep meaningful stable and healthy relationship, it is a problem. People in a healthy relationship ought to develop enough empathy and care towards one another, that they are naturally able to compromise and meet each other's needs. This happens gradually. It will likely never reach 100%, but apparently 80% is normal.
Again, I'm not making those numbers up. Apparently the most stable relationships occur when people disagree about 20% of the time. Usually those disagreements are about some need of theirs not being met. If people disagree too often, then it is too stressful. And if they agree 100% of the time, then either lying to appease the other (which will never last), or the relationship is meaningless and boring. Overcoming challenges is a large part of what brings people together. If you agree 100% of the time, then there aren't really any challenges to overcome. Neither of you is compromising or sacrificing anything. It is kind of meaningless. It's like being in a relationship with a clone of yourself.

1.

I think you understand what I meant. Being with only one person is kind of a big compromise if you find some other relationships to complete the puzzle. Every relationship is a compromise, that's why poly is even more difficult, but once you do it right it is the best thing ever (at least for me).

2.

Actually a good point. I'm not completely selfish, that's why I let them go, they'd do better with someone else who fits them better. I talk to my partner before adding another relationship and we discuss what is better. Sometimes separation is the best way.

3.

Some introverts recharge with ONE person. I need ONE person ate a time. Good sex is a good recharge, good conversation is a good recharge, a proper support when needed is a good recharge. I would love to if ONE person could fulfill all that. However, it doesn't work.
I guess we are different types of introverts. I can't recharge in a company. I even prefer watching a movie with one person and not in a company. And I do need my time alone a lot. That's why I love my job where I can be alone quiet a lot. I also get really tired socializing outside of my core group, even if the event is enjoyable. Sometimes people don't understand that, I can act really social and enjoy the event but once I get home I need a long rest. Also, that's why I'm not looking for more than 3 relationships. I wouldn't handle so much.
Puzzle is a thing I thought about because my needs are not something I want to compromise on. I'm not that sexual as other girls I know, but I'm a human being, I need that too. If I don't really enjoy it, I prefer not to have sex at all. I can go on and on about the puzzle thing... I think it fit my pervious relationship, if I find another relationship maybe the puzzle thing won't fit it. Maybe I would not need it.

1.

The person you have sex with doesn't necessary have to be the same person you run a household and maybe a family with. My best sex partners where people I would never manage to run a household with. I can't live under the same roof with a guy who is a complete mess and never cleans or organize his room unless I made him too. I'm not the neatest person, but there is a limit. Yet, the guy was the best sex I had.

2.

Not everything have to be around sex. Relationships are not built purely on sex.

3.

Relationship could be very different. Even priorities could be different. I prioritize good connection, deep understanding of each other, good support and genuine friendship over sex, that's why the person who is my #1 would be a best friend. Sexual partner would be #2 or even #3, after the person who I'd like to run a household with or even raise a family.

4.

Many see poly relationship as just having sex with everyone and everything or just an open relationship where you can come and go whenever you want without any commitment. It is not that way at all. It is more commitment to more people.

5.

Everyone is compromises, but the thing is where is the limit.
I won't talk about what people find in me, because it is their opinion and their needs. I do change a bit according to their needs but again, there is a limit. I know my limits are not the easiest to deal with.