IGCSE Math

I failed. I'm repeating, what should I do? I've got tutoring twice a week now, I'm hoping to do the nov rewrites and move to a school that starts in Jan, it's all lined up, but I'm so scared I fail again, all I need is a 4 ig, but I'm also repeating bio (6, want an 8 min) and chem (4, want an 8), and idk if I'm capable, I am putting in the effort and I believe I have the ability to pass, I'm just so lazy, and probably a little stupid actually.
The reason I want to get these grades is bc I want to go into veterinary science bc that is my passion, but the thing about that is that English is where I thrive (lit: 8 language: 6, no studying??? tbh idk how), and I hate myself for that.
I originally (yr 9) wanted to do psyc but I was supposed to get some signature and didn't and then took art and dropped it, idk, I have so many regrets, I should've taken psyc. (excuse the weird format pls)

This is going to sound really harsh but if you couldn’t get a 4 in igcse maths first time round I don’t think veterinary medicine is for you. Even the laziest of students hoping to study vet med should be able to achieve that. Resitting to achieve the minimum grade of 7 that many vet schools require is one thing but being scared of not managing a 4 is a whole different question. The UK vet schools require A’s for Chemistry and Biology at « A » level with a bit of room for manoeuvre if you take a third science or maths with them. I would be surprised if you would be able to cope with the A level content if you are struggling with the I GCSE’s.
This is just an opinion. You may all of a sudden with a lot of work and effort on your behalf turn things around but I would all the same start thinking of other alternative careers. Loving animals and wanting to treat them is not sufficient to become a vet unfortunately and even many A* students often get refused entry to vet school.
Wishing you all the best. Improving your grades will make any university application more likely to succeed so will never be a waste of time.

Haha that was a bit harsh, I do believe I'm capable of turning things around, I was talking to my tutor and she says I'm able, I've realized that the main issue isn't my skills or abilities, but my exam anxiety, which really f-ed me over this time around, I appreciate your honesty and I agree, my interest in veterinary science is not purely about "aww cute animal got a boo boo lemme bandage you", I actually do have genuine interest in the chemical side as well, like surgery and blood tests, etc, I just didn't put enough effort in last time, but I am this time, and this sounds a bit self pitying, but I think half the reason for my failure was my dad's selfish desire to have a heart attack and die, really rude of him (a joke, I really miss him).
edit: Again, thank you, I really appreciate your response, and while it was harsh, I appreciate you honesty very much

I’m really sorry!! Your huge mitigating circumstances do make a very big difference. Obviously I made a blanket comment based on a few likes of a post and there is no one answer that fits all.
Wishing you the best of luck.

I’m really sorry!! Your huge mitigating circumstances do make a very big difference. Obviously I made a blanket comment based on a few lines of a post and there is no one answer that fits all.
Wishing you the best of luck.