Guy who doesn't come out of his room

So I am a third year student who just moved back into halls of residence. I am living in a flat of 10 and I have been here almost 2 weeks and have met everyone apart from the guy in the room next to me. After a few days I bravely put a note under hid door with my number on to try and talk to him, and he ignored it. Another of my flatmates thinks she saw him once and he blanked her when she tried to start a conversation. Furthermore, his food in the fridge hasn't been touched and some of it has gone out of date and I always hear him lock his door when he comes out to use the bathroom, like he is super insecure or something. Does anyone have any suggestions as what to do in this matter? Thanks!

So I am a third year student who just moved back into halls of residence. I am living in a flat of 10 and I have been here almost 2 weeks and have met everyone apart from the guy in the room next to me. After a few days I bravely put a note under hid door with my number on to try and talk to him, and he ignored it. Another of my flatmates thinks she saw him once and he blanked her when she tried to start a conversation. Furthermore, his food in the fridge hasn't been touched and some of it has gone out of date and I always hear him lock his door when he comes out to use the bathroom, like he is super insecure or something. Does anyone have any suggestions as what to do in this matter? Thanks!

Does your university have a wellbeing service? You could raise your concerns with them. They can then decide whether they need to follow up on things.

he's probably depressed... just leave him be, he's not doing you guys any harm

No he’s not doing anyone else any harm, but if he is depressed he may harm himself, and where I come from it is a criminal offence not to help someone who is potentially in danger!

i feel like you've completely invaded his privacy and any sense of trust he could've had in you... i mean there's no indication that he's a danger to himself.
honestly, if someone reported me, like you reported him, i think i would be so mortified i would literally drop out. : /

i feel like you've completely invaded his privacy and any sense of trust he could've had in you... i mean there's no indication that he's a danger to himself.

honestly, if someone reported me, like you reported him, i think i would be so mortified i would literally drop out. : /

They tried the non invasive approach with notes under his door. He doesn’t have to be best friends with anyone in the flat if he doesn’t want to but he should let them know that he is OK. It is mostly freshers in uni halls, so if he’s not eating the food he’s put in the fridge or mixing in any way with the flatmates it is fairly logical to assume that there is a problem. He may well be feeling either very homesick or very depressed or have other MH issues. You would be mortified because someone was caring enough to say that they were worried about you. As a parent I would be mortified if something happened to one of my children and no one had cared!
And as for the question of trust, he has not tried to establish any contact with anyone in the flat so there can be no trust. It’s something that has to be worked on and developed by all that are part of the equation. He contributes nothing that would indicate that he is trustworthy so can’t expect others to think he is.

If he's not leaving his room for any reason other than to go to the toilet, not even to eat, then what difference does it make if he drops out?

they should've been more direct with him then instead of sneakily reporting him. seriously, don't you understand how humiliating the whole situations is gonna be for him?

No he’s not doing anyone else any harm, but if he is depressed he may harm himself, and where I come from it is a criminal offence not to help someone who is potentially in danger!

i barely attended lectures/seminars due to mh issues and still somehow graduated.

They tried the non invasive approach with notes under his door. He doesn’t have to be best friends with anyone in the flat if he doesn’t want to but he should let them know that he is OK. It is mostly freshers in uni halls, so if he’s not eating the food he’s put in the fridge or mixing in any way with the flatmates it is fairly logical to assume that there is a problem. He may well be feeling either very homesick or very depressed or have other MH issues. You would be mortified because someone was caring enough to say that they were worried about you. As a parent I would be mortified if something happened to one of my children and no one had cared!
And as for the question of trust, he has not tried to establish any contact with anyone in the flat so there can be no trust. It’s something that has to be worked on and developed by all that are part of the equation. He contributes nothing that would indicate that he is trustworthy so can’t expect others to think he is.

Yes , they should have warned him that if he didn’t demonstrate that he was OK to them they would have to get outside help. But the bottom line is humiliation doesn’t last a life time whereas other more dramatic consequences of his behaviour might!!

So I am a third year student who just moved back into halls of residence. I am living in a flat of 10 and I have been here almost 2 weeks and have met everyone apart from the guy in the room next to me. After a few days I bravely put a note under hid door with my number on to try and talk to him, and he ignored it. Another of my flatmates thinks she saw him once and he blanked her when she tried to start a conversation. Furthermore, his food in the fridge hasn't been touched and some of it has gone out of date and I always hear him lock his door when he comes out to use the bathroom, like he is super insecure or something. Does anyone have any suggestions as what to do in this matter? Thanks!

Whether he attends lectures or not is his affair, but his flatmates have a duty of care towards him. They are not trying to humiliate him but just want to make sure that he is OK.