Guy who doesn't come out of his room

if someone is determined to die, there's no stopping them. i don't think that's the case here, at least not at the moment.
i just think it's messed up what they did. they should've been more open and direct with him before taking such a drastic step

This isn't drastic in this situation. There was no other option - they couldn't speak to him. It's not at all messed up.

of course it is drastic. what is it with people's obsession with reporting everything? it's insane. if you don't have guts to ask someone directly, leave them alone. he's an adult man.

Leave him alone? Having been a quiet/reclusive person my whole life, people acting like there's "something wrong" with me pushes me further away from them. He doesn't have to acknowledge a random stranger putting a note under his door and reporting him to the uni for literally just existing in his own space is strange behaviour in itself. Give the poor guy a break.

He has stayed in his room for two weeks, apparently without eating. They couldn't ask him directly but they gave him a respectful way to communicate with them, showing care. He could seriously need help.

Being quiet and reclusive is one thing, not eating is another. His flatmates aren’t begging him to be their best buddy, they just want to know that he is coping, because believe it or not, living in a flat with someone that has MH issues is stressful for all concerned. Never knowing what might happen to the person sharing your living space is not easy. They are not « reporting » someone for bad behaviour, but « signalling » to the relevant authorities that someone might need help.

Being quiet and reclusive is one thing, not eating is another. His flatmates aren’t begging him to be their best buddy, they just want to know that he is coping, because believe it or not, living in a flat with someone that has MH issues is stressful for all concerned. Never knowing what might happen to the person sharing your living space is not easy. They are not « reporting » someone for bad behaviour, but « signalling » to the relevant authorities that someone might need help.

the issue is not giving him a simple warning. hey we are concerned, please just let us know if you're ok or we might have to report this bc we're worried. that simple

There's nothing drastic about asking the wellbeing team to check in on someone. That's literally what they do.
"We've noticed you might be struggling to settle in, is there anything we can help with?" is hardly a kicking the door down intervention.

There's nothing drastic about asking the wellbeing team to check in on someone. That's literally what they do.
"We've noticed you might be struggling to settle in, is there anything we can help with?" is hardly a kicking the door down intervention.

As I said, I would have spoken to them first before going any further but his safety is at the end of the day the most important issue.

yeah, right. at least have the guts to admit you picked the easiest way out. at least now you don't have to deal with any consequences, right?

I’m not the room mate just a TSR poster , but what is very consterning is that all those that try to help are being told that what they did to try to help was wrong and the guy at the root of all this worry is a poor victim that is being picked on!! THEY ARE TRYING TO HELP!!Being indifferent and leaving a potentially fragile fresher with no support network would be utterly uncaring. You trying a guilt trip on those that are only thinking of someone else’s well being is not helpful!!

they're not really helping though. just shifting the responsibility onto someone else. i get that not everyone agrees with my, but in my personal opinion, if your help is potentially going to cause someone more harm than good, then just don't help them at all...

they're not really helping though. just shifting the responsibility onto someone else. i get that not everyone agrees with my, but in my personal opinion, if your help is potentially going to cause someone more harm than good, then just don't help them at all...

The others in the flat are mostly freshers imo. They’re probably on their own for the first time and are trying to find their own feet. Someone with MH issues should not be their entire responsibility so shifting part of that burden onto the service that is dedicated to it seems a reasonable reaction and the sensible thing to do. At some point physical integrity becomes more important than someone else being momentarily embarrassed. And as @Admit-One has said any intervention will probably in a first instance be only be someone knocking on his door and asking if everything is OK. He won’t be walking around with a sign on his back for all to see stating that his MH is fragile and the university services are keeping an eye on him. So stating that he’ll probably want to leave uni afterwards is a bit overdramatising. On the contrary he might be pleased that the situation is being handled by the welfare office because he himself didn’t have the confidence to go and find help on his own.

I don't get why they didn't just knock on his door in the first place. Two weeks went by and no one else in the flat thought, oh maybe I'll knock and introduce myself. Plus assuming they aren't eating because of the content in the fridge?

The others in the flat are mostly freshers imo. They’re probably on their own for the first time and are trying to find their own feet. Someone with MH issues should not be their entire responsibility so shifting part of that burden onto the service that is dedicated to it seems a reasonable reaction and the sensible thing to do. At some point physical integrity becomes more important than someone else being momentarily embarrassed. And as @Admit-One has said any intervention will probably in a first instance be only be someone knocking on his door and asking if everything is OK. He won’t be walking around with a sign on his back for all to see stating that his MH is fragile and the university services are keeping an eye on him. So stating that he’ll probably want to leave uni afterwards is a bit overdramatising. On the contrary he might be pleased that the situation is being handled by the welfare office because he himself didn’t have the confidence to go and find help on his own.