dropping out of university?

when is the right time to drop out of university? i have been at university for over a week now and have come home twice in that time. i absolutely hate it at the moment, i hate living in uni halls, im the most anxious ive ever been, im homesick, i feel so down, i don’t want to leave my room and talk to my flatmates, i don’t want to go out drinking or even out at all, im completely emotionally and physically exhausted, i have no motivation, im so overwhelmed, i feel on and off nauseous and have headaches because of my anxiety, and im not being a good friend to any of my friends as im so consumed by uni. i came to uni knowing it would be tough but i had a good mindset and thought i could do it but now i don’t think i can. i have adhd and anxiety and have been trying to help myself in different ways such as going on walks, daily breathing techniques, etc but nothing is helping. i also know that living in uni halls away from home is having a bad affect on my studies as everything is too overwhelming.
although i think my course suits me and i will appreciate the course, i really want to drop out as i have never felt so bad.
is dropping out after a week too soon? should i wait longer or drop out now?

Reply 1

toppby55

15

I'd say give it until October half term or Christmas. A week is no where near long enough to know what you want. The first term is always the hardest anyway.

(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 2

hallamstudents

Official Rep

18

Original post by Anonymous

when is the right time to drop out of university? i have been at university for over a week now and have come home twice in that time. i absolutely hate it at the moment, i hate living in uni halls, im the most anxious ive ever been, im homesick, i feel so down, i don’t want to leave my room and talk to my flatmates, i don’t want to go out drinking or even out at all, im completely emotionally and physically exhausted, i have no motivation, im so overwhelmed, i feel on and off nauseous and have headaches because of my anxiety, and im not being a good friend to any of my friends as im so consumed by uni. i came to uni knowing it would be tough but i had a good mindset and thought i could do it but now i don’t think i can. i have adhd and anxiety and have been trying to help myself in different ways such as going on walks, daily breathing techniques, etc but nothing is helping. i also know that living in uni halls away from home is having a bad affect on my studies as everything is too overwhelming.
although i think my course suits me and i will appreciate the course, i really want to drop out as i have never felt so bad.
is dropping out after a week too soon? should i wait longer or drop out now?

Hi there,

I would agree that the first term at uni is definitely the hardest as you will be adjusting to your new life and it will feel very different than living at home. It can be really tempting to drop out but I would advise to just see if you can wait it out a little bit longer as you might end up enjoying it and changing your mind about dropping out.

I would also suggest maybe talking to people at uni about how you are feeling. Your uni will have a wellbeing team/student support team that you can talk to and I would advise doing this as they might be able to offer you some support or help with how you are feeling which might help to make your time at university a bit better/easier.

It's also worth maybe talking to your uni tutors about how you are feeling as they may be able to offer you some support too. If you have an academic advisor or personal tutor, they will be able to help you too and it will feel good to talk about it and even just talking will help more than you might think. Your tutors may then be able to offer you some support with your work which you might need and find helpful so it is worth talking to them.

If you don't like drinking and going out or just don't want to do this, you don't have to! Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't like doing as you will find other friends doing things that you enjoy doing. Try and speak to some of your flatmates as this might help ease some of your anxiety and help you to feel a bit more at home in your flat, but don't worry if you don't make great friends with them all - you won't necessarily be close friends with everyone but you will find your people that will make your uni experience better.

If you find it a bit overwhelming to make friends, maybe have a look on social media and see if you can meet anyone this way. You can often find Facebook groups for your course and you will meet people this way which sometimes can be easier than talking to new people face to face. Societies are good ways of making friends too so have a look into what your uni offers and see if there are any that you like the sound of.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 3

Kingston Reps

Official Rep

15

Original post by Anonymous

when is the right time to drop out of university? i have been at university for over a week now and have come home twice in that time. i absolutely hate it at the moment, i hate living in uni halls, im the most anxious ive ever been, im homesick, i feel so down, i don’t want to leave my room and talk to my flatmates, i don’t want to go out drinking or even out at all, im completely emotionally and physically exhausted, i have no motivation, im so overwhelmed, i feel on and off nauseous and have headaches because of my anxiety, and im not being a good friend to any of my friends as im so consumed by uni. i came to uni knowing it would be tough but i had a good mindset and thought i could do it but now i don’t think i can. i have adhd and anxiety and have been trying to help myself in different ways such as going on walks, daily breathing techniques, etc but nothing is helping. i also know that living in uni halls away from home is having a bad affect on my studies as everything is too overwhelming.
although i think my course suits me and i will appreciate the course, i really want to drop out as i have never felt so bad.
is dropping out after a week too soon? should i wait longer or drop out now?

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about your struggles adjusting to uni life! 😞 I would highly recommend speaking to your personal/ course tutor or your uni's health and wellbeing support team before making a decision.
Being away from home, juggling uni work and a new environment can be very challenging😪, if possible you may consider living at home and commuting to uni so you are at least in a familiar environment.
I personally struggled making friends in the first year at uni as well as I did not click well with my flat mates or go out to party ... but I eventually found friends when I joined a society + through my part time job in uni! I would recommend giving yourself some time to adjust before making your decision but I really hope you come to enjoy your uni experience. I hope this helps!

Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)

Reply 4

jonathanemptage

21

I’d give it a few weeks it’s still very new and it will take time to adjust why not join some society or something if after say 6 weeks you feel the same then drop out. There is no shame in that at all you tried something that didn’t work for you and you made the decision to leave likely the first adult decision you will have made. Make sure you have a plan and I ish you the best.

Reply 5

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

22

Original post by Anonymous

when is the right time to drop out of university? i have been at university for over a week now and have come home twice in that time. i absolutely hate it at the moment, i hate living in uni halls, im the most anxious ive ever been, im homesick, i feel so down, i don’t want to leave my room and talk to my flatmates, i don’t want to go out drinking or even out at all, im completely emotionally and physically exhausted, i have no motivation, im so overwhelmed, i feel on and off nauseous and have headaches because of my anxiety, and im not being a good friend to any of my friends as im so consumed by uni. i came to uni knowing it would be tough but i had a good mindset and thought i could do it but now i don’t think i can. i have adhd and anxiety and have been trying to help myself in different ways such as going on walks, daily breathing techniques, etc but nothing is helping. i also know that living in uni halls away from home is having a bad affect on my studies as everything is too overwhelming.
although i think my course suits me and i will appreciate the course, i really want to drop out as i have never felt so bad.
is dropping out after a week too soon? should i wait longer or drop out now?

Despite your good reasons to drop, I would wait at least for another weeks to give your new surrounding a chance and to cope with the circumstances. If you did not get used to your life at university till that time, you should quit with it, all the more when you have the gut feeling that it does not change for better.

(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

when is the right time to drop out of university? i have been at university for over a week now and have come home twice in that time. i absolutely hate it at the moment, i hate living in uni halls, im the most anxious ive ever been, im homesick, i feel so down, i don’t want to leave my room and talk to my flatmates, i don’t want to go out drinking or even out at all, im completely emotionally and physically exhausted, i have no motivation, im so overwhelmed, i feel on and off nauseous and have headaches because of my anxiety, and im not being a good friend to any of my friends as im so consumed by uni. i came to uni knowing it would be tough but i had a good mindset and thought i could do it but now i don’t think i can. i have adhd and anxiety and have been trying to help myself in different ways such as going on walks, daily breathing techniques, etc but nothing is helping. i also know that living in uni halls away from home is having a bad affect on my studies as everything is too overwhelming.
although i think my course suits me and i will appreciate the course, i really want to drop out as i have never felt so bad.
is dropping out after a week too soon? should i wait longer or drop out now?

I went a bit ago and instantly regret it. It was like a nightmare. I decided to defer my place to next year after only a few days. I know a lot of people would say I did it too soon, and they have a point. But I dont think I was ready for such a big step and I definitely wasnt ready to spend 50k on something Im not 100% sure about. Now Im just planning on getting a job and learning to drive this year, hopefully starting some new hobbies too. I think I need a smaller step first like getting a job to prepare me better for it. I have anxiety too (I know means nothing these days as everyone says they have it).

All I can say though Is I dont feel much better at home. Im done with school, and dont have any university or school until next year now. This year is entirely up to me what I do with and that is pretty scary. Theres nobody forcing you to do your work, theres no structure to anything set up for you, no school to make you talk to your friends. Its completely on you to ensure you use the time effectively.

In a way its a similar feeling to being alone at university. In both situations youre alone and fully in control of everything. The first time I've had full freedom and I dont like it? I know I have to get over it though or ill never end up doing anything at all.

But id say nobody can tell you when the best time is. Its completely your choice. You can choose to not go if you feel youre not ready, but id advise you have a plan of what youre going to do instead, wheather that be going back another year, doing an apprenticeship instead, going into full time employment.

dropping out of university?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Articles for you