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I’m in Bournemouth University and my flat mates are all going out tonight and have done since they’ve been here by all means happy days for them,

But I don’t really drink and I’ve never gone clubbing as I only have one hearing ear and need to protect the other, so I’m always at the flat on my own and feel soo lonely!! I find it hard to interact with people and make friends also!!

Like today I asked what everyone was doing and their responses was we’re getting laid tonight so we can get the tally up and saying that I should join if not I’ll be letting the flat down

What should I do in this situation

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Original post by Mason147

I’m in Bournemouth University and my flat mates are all going out tonight and have done since they’ve been here by all means happy days for them,
But I don’t really drink and I’ve never gone clubbing as I only have one hearing ear and need to protect the other, so I’m always at the flat on my own and feel soo lonely!! I find it hard to interact with people and make friends also!!
Like today I asked what everyone was doing and their responses was we’re getting laid tonight so we can get the tally up and saying that I should join if not I’ll be letting the flat down
What should I do in this situation

Hiya,

I’m sorry you’re having this experience!

Firstly, don’t feel pressured by your roommates to do things that’s you’re not comfortable with. We’re all different and clubbing isn’t for everyone, no matter what the reason is. You are not letting your roommates down because you don’t want to go out at all! Please don’t feel guilty because of their pressure. Do you feel comfortable enough to talk to them and explain why you don’t like clubbing? If you do, this might help to get them to stop pressuring you.

Have you looked into any of the university societies? I’d suggest having a look into those and considering joining one or a couple. This is a great way to meet people who already have similar interests.

I know you’ve mentioned you find it difficult to make friends but please don’t put pressure on yourself just yet. It is early days and we all have our own journey at uni and for some it takes longer to make connections! Don’t feel restricted to making friends with your roommates. Try talking to other people in your class and see if they’re interested in hanging out.

If you are feeling lonely please don’t suffer in silence. It’s completely normal to have these feelings when you first start uni, so reach out to friends or family or even your university wellbeing team!

Good luck, I hope this helps and remember, don’t feel bad about doing what’s right for you 🙂

Sophie (ARU)