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University Advise

I am now in my 2nd year in a university. Last year I went to another university and honestly made mistakes I regret from a social perspective. I was able to make friends easily in my old university however not close friends. I have only seen a couple of them once in the past 6 months. However, I have made mistakes, and they now view me as innocent, weak, and dumb. At the end of the year, I decided to transfer to universities. I have been accepted and just started my new university however as I am a second-year student it is a bit harder for me to make friends as everyone has their friendship group. I have only commuted to my university 3 times and the last time I went I was talking to a couple of people however they weren’t my type of people to chill with but hopefully, I won’t give up until I find a genuine group of friend or even 1 friend I can chill with.

Since yesterday, I have been trying to rejoin my old university as I am quite scared it will be even worse for me at this new university. I have seen people I can chill with in my new university but I didn’t approach them. I am also trying to be cautious as I made mistakes that I don’t intend on making again as I don’t want to experience things from last year again.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I am thinking of returning to my old university but trying to earn the respect of the friends I know at my old university but that won’t necessarily mean that I will have close friends. But if I still go to my new university I know I can make a new start and try to make close friends as I have been quite lonely during the summer.

I honestly don’t know what to do as the same thing might happen at my new university or I might even become lonely and lose out on the friends I only had.

Before you ask about the education perspective they both have very similar rankings.

Any advice?
Original post by Anonymous
I am now in my 2nd year in a university. Last year I went to another university and honestly made mistakes I regret from a social perspective. I was able to make friends easily in my old university however not close friends. I have only seen a couple of them once in the past 6 months. However, I have made mistakes, and they now view me as innocent, weak, and dumb. At the end of the year, I decided to transfer to universities. I have been accepted and just started my new university however as I am a second-year student it is a bit harder for me to make friends as everyone has their friendship group. I have only commuted to my university 3 times and the last time I went I was talking to a couple of people however they weren’t my type of people to chill with but hopefully, I won’t give up until I find a genuine group of friend or even 1 friend I can chill with.
Since yesterday, I have been trying to rejoin my old university as I am quite scared it will be even worse for me at this new university. I have seen people I can chill with in my new university but I didn’t approach them. I am also trying to be cautious as I made mistakes that I don’t intend on making again as I don’t want to experience things from last year again.
I honestly don’t know what to do. I am thinking of returning to my old university but trying to earn the respect of the friends I know at my old university but that won’t necessarily mean that I will have close friends. But if I still go to my new university I know I can make a new start and try to make close friends as I have been quite lonely during the summer.
I honestly don’t know what to do as the same thing might happen at my new university or I might even become lonely and lose out on the friends I only had.
Before you ask about the education perspective they both have very similar rankings.
Any advice?

Hi there,
I understand the need for wanting to have secure and genuine friendships at uni. But your time at uni is your time, and even though friendships at uni are important, you're completing your degree for yourself. So I would start by choosing the uni you prefer and which option is going to benefit you the most. Then once you're happy academically, you can then focus on building some friendships.

No matter what you may have or not have done in the past, it's only really your outlook on those things that matters. Try not to worry about whether these things will impact your friendships, as if others are judging you for these things, they might not be the best people to have around anyway.

Your new uni, like you say, could be the fresh start you're looking for. As you're strting your second year now, I think it's really important to choose an option and commit to it, as you want to make the most of your studies this year. And if you're feeling happy with how your course is going, it's likely you'll be in a better mindset to make new friendships.

Even though others might seem like they have their friendships sorted, there's always time to make new friends. Some of my closest friendships at uni didn't start until my second year, so give it some time and make an effort to chat to some new faces, and things will start to come together.

Hope this helps. 🙂
Emily
Student Rep at BCU
Reply 2
Original post by BCU Student Rep
Hi there,
I understand the need for wanting to have secure and genuine friendships at uni. But your time at uni is your time, and even though friendships at uni are important, you're completing your degree for yourself. So I would start by choosing the uni you prefer and which option is going to benefit you the most. Then once you're happy academically, you can then focus on building some friendships.
No matter what you may have or not have done in the past, it's only really your outlook on those things that matters. Try not to worry about whether these things will impact your friendships, as if others are judging you for these things, they might not be the best people to have around anyway.
Your new uni, like you say, could be the fresh start you're looking for. As you're strting your second year now, I think it's really important to choose an option and commit to it, as you want to make the most of your studies this year. And if you're feeling happy with how your course is going, it's likely you'll be in a better mindset to make new friendships.
Even though others might seem like they have their friendships sorted, there's always time to make new friends. Some of my closest friendships at uni didn't start until my second year, so give it some time and make an effort to chat to some new faces, and things will start to come together.
Hope this helps. 🙂
Emily
Student Rep at BCU

Will it be better off for me to have a new start. Or to be at my old university.

The difference between my old university and new one in terms of rankings is only a difference of 3 in my course. tbh in my new university the teaching is way better there even though I was there for 3 days.

I do realise that deep friendship will take time to develop.
Original post by Anonymous
Will it be better off for me to have a new start. Or to be at my old university.
The difference between my old university and new one in terms of rankings is only a difference of 3 in my course. tbh in my new university the teaching is way better there even though I was there for 3 days.
I do realise that deep friendship will take time to develop.

I think you may be starting to answer your own question. It sounds like your new uni has lots of advantages and if you're already finding the tutors and course better generally, then I think your new course could be the right choice.

Like I said before, its important that you stick to a decision as you enter your second year, as going back and forth between the two isn't going to help your studies. In my personal opinion, a fresh start to the new academic year is what I would probably consider, but ultimately the choice is yours.

Emily 🙂

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