did this date go well?
hiiii,
so i went on a date last monday with this guy. we planned on meeting at 5:30pm and i got there on time. i waited outside in the cold for an hour and a half maybe. he forgot when we were supposed to meet probs idk. he just said he'll be leaving soon etc and how he is waiting for a lift but he only told me this once it got to 5:30 and i was constantly waiting. he literally lives a 10 min drive away and i live 30 mins away and managed to get there on time by taxi and train.
the date went okay and i didnt tell him i was waiting for an hour and a half as i didnt wanna make it awkward as i wanted to give a good first impression. he didnt say sorry and so i dont think he knew i was waiting for that time idk??
buy anyway, i am also supposed to meet him tomorrow on the date and i was excited to see how it went again but i dont wanna be waiting again and idk if im over reacting. also we have had each others snapchat for two weeks so not long whatsoever.
but some other guy has also asked me out on a date so idk what to do!! im not a player and im a very senstive person so dont want to hurt anybody. i feel bad that i have two dates but the other guy has been on my snapchat for two weeks as well so it was a bit of an accident and i hardly knew them when first was added.
what do i do? cancel tomorrows date and see the other guy as he drives and will actually pick me up OR go see the guy who i went on a date with last time????
so i went on a date last monday with this guy. we planned on meeting at 5:30pm and i got there on time. i waited outside in the cold for an hour and a half maybe. he forgot when we were supposed to meet probs idk. he just said he'll be leaving soon etc and how he is waiting for a lift but he only told me this once it got to 5:30 and i was constantly waiting. he literally lives a 10 min drive away and i live 30 mins away and managed to get there on time by taxi and train.
the date went okay and i didnt tell him i was waiting for an hour and a half as i didnt wanna make it awkward as i wanted to give a good first impression. he didnt say sorry and so i dont think he knew i was waiting for that time idk??
buy anyway, i am also supposed to meet him tomorrow on the date and i was excited to see how it went again but i dont wanna be waiting again and idk if im over reacting. also we have had each others snapchat for two weeks so not long whatsoever.
but some other guy has also asked me out on a date so idk what to do!! im not a player and im a very senstive person so dont want to hurt anybody. i feel bad that i have two dates but the other guy has been on my snapchat for two weeks as well so it was a bit of an accident and i hardly knew them when first was added.
what do i do? cancel tomorrows date and see the other guy as he drives and will actually pick me up OR go see the guy who i went on a date with last time????
The time issue is a failure to communicate. Be clear and tell him that your not going to wait more than the time a taxi takes you if he's going to be late.
You should go on a date with whomever you like best however I personally won't give a third date if a woman is still dating multiple people after the second time we meet (I just straight up ask if your dating other people too). Multiple dating should be frowned upon imo if the intent is serious. There's no reason you can't date one after completely deciding on the other.
You should go on a date with whomever you like best however I personally won't give a third date if a woman is still dating multiple people after the second time we meet (I just straight up ask if your dating other people too). Multiple dating should be frowned upon imo if the intent is serious. There's no reason you can't date one after completely deciding on the other.
Original post by Rakas21
The time issue is a failure to communicate. Be clear and tell him that your not going to wait more than the time a taxi takes you if he's going to be late.
You should go on a date with whomever you like best however I personally won't give a third date if a woman is still dating multiple people after the second time we meet (I just straight up ask if your dating other people too). Multiple dating should be frowned upon imo if the intent is serious. There's no reason you can't date one after completely deciding on the other.
You should go on a date with whomever you like best however I personally won't give a third date if a woman is still dating multiple people after the second time we meet (I just straight up ask if your dating other people too). Multiple dating should be frowned upon imo if the intent is serious. There's no reason you can't date one after completely deciding on the other.
oh okay. is my idea wrong then and should i stop talking to one?
it’s just i accidentally got into a pickle and i don’t usually do this. i feel bad. do i tell them i’ve been talking to both of them and be honest with them?
it’s just i haven’t met the other and i don’t have an opinion on him but he seems more flirtatious which i like and the other one i met is sweet & lovely. i just feel so bad
Original post by Anonymous
oh okay. is my idea wrong then and should i stop talking to one?
it’s just i accidentally got into a pickle and i don’t usually do this. i feel bad. do i tell them i’ve been talking to both of them and be honest with them?
it’s just i haven’t met the other and i don’t have an opinion on him but he seems more flirtatious which i like and the other one i met is sweet & lovely. i just feel so bad
it’s just i accidentally got into a pickle and i don’t usually do this. i feel bad. do i tell them i’ve been talking to both of them and be honest with them?
it’s just i haven’t met the other and i don’t have an opinion on him but he seems more flirtatious which i like and the other one i met is sweet & lovely. i just feel so bad
Think of your situation like riding a bus to your emotional destination. Your already on bus, you seem to think it's a good bus on the right early part of the route, so why would you try ride another.
You should stop talking to the other guy, yes. You can go on the date when it doesn't work out or delete when things get serious or the other guy requests it.
You should tell the guy you've not met the truth. For the guy you have, while I'd normally advise being honest, in this case I would either stay silent or frame it as 'by the way, I've deleted these other men to try with you'. I would not unless asked volunteer that you had an arranged date.
Original post by Rakas21
Think of your situation like riding a bus to your emotional destination. Your already on bus, you seem to think it's a good bus on the right early part of the route, so why would you try ride another.
You should stop talking to the other guy, yes. You can go on the date when it doesn't work out or delete when things get serious or the other guy requests it.
You should tell the guy you've not met the truth. For the guy you have, while I'd normally advise being honest, in this case I would either stay silent or frame it as 'by the way, I've deleted these other men to try with you'. I would not unless asked volunteer that you had an arranged date.
You should stop talking to the other guy, yes. You can go on the date when it doesn't work out or delete when things get serious or the other guy requests it.
You should tell the guy you've not met the truth. For the guy you have, while I'd normally advise being honest, in this case I would either stay silent or frame it as 'by the way, I've deleted these other men to try with you'. I would not unless asked volunteer that you had an arranged date.
sorry got a little confused before answering your response. do you mean stop talking to the guy i haven’t been on the date with ??
Original post by Anonymous
sorry got a little confused before answering your response. do you mean stop talking to the guy i haven’t been on the date with ??
That would be my recommendation, yes.
Original post by Rakas21
That would be my recommendation, yes.
ok thanks. what do i say to him? shall i say im not ready to go on a date and that i am not ready to be in a relationship? it’s just he messages me and things. im not sure what to do
Original post by Anonymous
ok thanks. what do i say to him? shall i say im not ready to go on a date and that i am not ready to be in a relationship? it’s just he messages me and things. im not sure what to do
The truth. You met a guy you like and you want to see how things go. Advise him to move on and that you'll let him know if you become available.
Original post by Rakas21
The truth. You met a guy you like and you want to see how things go. Advise him to move on and that you'll let him know if you become available.
does that mean i’ve lead him on ??? 😭😭 thanks so much i’ll defo be honest and tell him. he deserves that at least
Original post by Anonymous
does that mean i’ve lead him on ??? 😭😭 thanks so much i’ll defo be honest and tell him. he deserves that at least
Kind of but society these days means that a lot of women are speaking with multiple men. It's not preferable from a male point of view but you shouldn't feel too bad.
I block and delete people for being 90 minutes late with absolutely no good reason.
You only become a player when you're having sex with multiple people in a short space of time.
It's perfectly fine for you to meet and get to know multiple men in the same week, or even on the same day.
Think of it as it being like you going on several test drives for various cars at several dealers in the same week-end.
It's only if you put down the deposit on multiple cars that life becomes awkward.
Please go ahead and date both men. Date other men too, if you come across any you're attracted to.
Put Mr Ninety Minutes in the last chance saloon. If he's more than 30 minutes late for your next meeting drop him like a brick down a well.
As a good general guideline for any meeting, whether personal or for business: up to 20 minutes late without explanation is fine. Anyone can get held up by traffic etc and 20 minutes is no huge deal.
When you get to the 20 minute mark ping them "Where are you?" Give them 10 minutes to respond. If they don't; walk away and get on with your day. If they do respond make a decision as to whether to wait longer or not.
Give them the chance to reschedule any broken meetings.
Avoid the mindset of you going well out of your way in order to give a good first impression.
Argov's book Why Men Love *****es goes into detail on how and why you shouldn't be a doormat.
Men will be more attracted to you if you're assertive, respect yourself, value your time - especially if you're also positive, enthusiastic, light-hearted, good company in person.
It's better if you don't give away your home address until you know a guy well. Meet very close to your home, but not at your home.
And you know what your mum told you about getting into cars with strange men...
It's perfectly fine for you to meet and get to know multiple men in the same week, or even on the same day.
Think of it as it being like you going on several test drives for various cars at several dealers in the same week-end.
It's only if you put down the deposit on multiple cars that life becomes awkward.
Please go ahead and date both men. Date other men too, if you come across any you're attracted to.
Put Mr Ninety Minutes in the last chance saloon. If he's more than 30 minutes late for your next meeting drop him like a brick down a well.
As a good general guideline for any meeting, whether personal or for business: up to 20 minutes late without explanation is fine. Anyone can get held up by traffic etc and 20 minutes is no huge deal.
When you get to the 20 minute mark ping them "Where are you?" Give them 10 minutes to respond. If they don't; walk away and get on with your day. If they do respond make a decision as to whether to wait longer or not.
Give them the chance to reschedule any broken meetings.
Avoid the mindset of you going well out of your way in order to give a good first impression.
Argov's book Why Men Love *****es goes into detail on how and why you shouldn't be a doormat.
Men will be more attracted to you if you're assertive, respect yourself, value your time - especially if you're also positive, enthusiastic, light-hearted, good company in person.
It's better if you don't give away your home address until you know a guy well. Meet very close to your home, but not at your home.
And you know what your mum told you about getting into cars with strange men...
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