Mixed signals from a girl

This girl I’m talking to is giving me really big mixed signals and I’m not sure how to react

1) over text and phone call she’s extremely flirty and talkative saying things like I can’t wait to cuddle you etc.. but in person I went to put my hand on her waist and she was like “erm don’t touch me” and stepped back like wtf it makes me feel like I’m a creep trying to touch her

2) every night she “sexts” me often saying flirty things like “I’m so h0rny i want you to f*ck me” and sends me photos in her bra etc, but then when I go to “sext” her back something flirty about wanting to ‘f*ck’ her she replies saying “erm right calm down dude.. you’re making me uncomfortable” like wtf I’m just trying to reply to ur sexual message

3) whenever I say something about her body being hot and how badly I want to touch it etc she will say “stop making me feel so uncomfortable my body isn’t an object” again.. I’m just replying to her sexts

4) she said she misses me so I replied saying I miss u so much I am too excited to see u that I can’t sleep or something like that and she replied “you need to chill.. you’re being weird and creepy dude” or she might say “I’m starting to wonder if we should continue as I feel quite uncomfortable with u”

5) but then later she’s calling me asking me how my day is, always wants to text, again says she likes me, asks me to come visit her university and stay round hers for the weekend etc so it’s such mixed signals

I’m not sure what to do as it really makes me self conscious and unhappy her calling me creepy, weird and saying that I make her uncomfortable.. it makes me feel like a weird guy harassing a girl when I’m not.

I haven’t replied to her last message I mentioned above when she said she’s wondering if we should continue as I make her uncomfortable as I really dunno how to respond to it.

Reply 1

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

Normally I'd say talk it over, but in this case I'd just tell her exactly what you've said here, with the examples, and finish it. Sounds too much like hard work to sort out and there's no telling that she'd pay attention to it anyway.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Hey man,
Getting mixed signals can be confusing and emotional, leaving you feeling frustrated.
This girl just seems like she's not looking for anything real, if u feel like everything should be mutual in your exchanges than it's not right for someone to gaslight you into thinking you are a creep, relationships are meant to be built on equality.
She seems to be interested in the chase of the relationship, rather than forming an actual bond itself.
Have you brought up these issues with her yourself? and how it makes you feel self conscious etc.
If she is not willing to change, than you can't change her and you should find someone who feels comfortable around you and vise versa.

Reply 3

Zarek

Sounds like a bit of a wind up. But why not ask her what she wants

Reply 4

Ciel.

you have no self respect if you're putting up with that level of bs and she probably knows it

(edited 8 months ago)

Reply 5

Dunnig Kruger

Reverse the tables. Tell her she can't touch you. Do this when you're together with her in person. Do it with a smirk and a twinkle in your eye.

when she sexts you, say nothing back. Act as if she never sent you those messages. If she brings up the subject of them, talk about them as if they're unimportant to you. Something like "Yeah, I guess you were feeling like you wanted a bit of company when you sent them. That's so sweet. Come 'ere and give us a hug!"

Stop saying you want to touch her body. Tease her by telling her how much she wants to touch yours. In a non-serious, joking, mucking about kind of way.

Stop telling her that you miss her. When she says that she misses you respond with an "Aww!" Or respond with nothing if she told you by text.

Go visit her when it's convenient for you. Have a great time with her. Be really good company for her. A ray of sunshine in her life. Demonstrate that you have good amounts of mental and emotional strength. Tease and flirt with her and have fun. Demonstrate that she will never conquer your emotions (ie don't get upset or angry when she tests you or yanks your chain).

She sounds like she is actually easy to get along with - for the right type of man. One that fits her blueprint of what a good man should be. And she may well be the sort of woman that would make a great girlfriend and wife.

Respond to her latest text with a "This is like we've skipped straight ahead to the divorce stage. I'm keeping the dog! You can keep the Michael Buble CD's."

Reply 6

Kathy89

Sounds like she's playing with you. She just wants your attention to boost her confidence. It doesn't seem she wants any relationship with you or even to hook up, just to get you to say she looks good and you want her.
Sorry, it seems like that.