How to get people to like me

I go to a small sixth form with around 50 people in year 12, there are 9 girls and about 40 boys who have know each other from around year 7. I went into the sixth form dating one of the boys but after he could deal with the fact I had friends who were boys we decided to break up, I have two close friends who are girls there and have made some friends with the boys. It is important to mention that I was badly bullied at my secondary school for 5 years by a few girls so sixth form was a fresh start.
After the break up I thought things would get better however he isn’t taking it so well, he has been spreading rumors and making fun of me in public settings, there had been a small incident where another boy accidentally miss read the situation and thought I liked him only a week after the break up, this lead a lot of the boys to suspect I lead him on and that I was a flirt, when in reality I just wanted to make friends, I have heard from sources that the boys had all had a conversation about their dislike of me for apparently leading multiple boys on at one time along with the fact I talk to much and have an annoying voice. I found out due to one of them coming clean that most of the boys actually do not like me, and that my ex had been making up false claims about me. I don’t really know what to do because with only 50 people in a year group I want to make lots of friends, before coming to this school I only had talked to boys in there context of my brother and his mates who are all younger, I didn’t mean to act flirty and I didn’t even realize it was happening but now I don’t know what to do. I really wanted a fresh start but now I’m back to where I was.

Original post by Anonymous

I go to a small sixth form with around 50 people in year 12, there are 9 girls and about 40 boys who have know each other from around year 7. I went into the sixth form dating one of the boys but after he could deal with the fact I had friends who were boys we decided to break up, I have two close friends who are girls there and have made some friends with the boys. It is important to mention that I was badly bullied at my secondary school for 5 years by a few girls so sixth form was a fresh start.
After the break up I thought things would get better however he isn’t taking it so well, he has been spreading rumors and making fun of me in public settings, there had been a small incident where another boy accidentally miss read the situation and thought I liked him only a week after the break up, this lead a lot of the boys to suspect I lead him on and that I was a flirt, when in reality I just wanted to make friends, I have heard from sources that the boys had all had a conversation about their dislike of me for apparently leading multiple boys on at one time along with the fact I talk to much and have an annoying voice. I found out due to one of them coming clean that most of the boys actually do not like me, and that my ex had been making up false claims about me. I don’t really know what to do because with only 50 people in a year group I want to make lots of friends, before coming to this school I only had talked to boys in there context of my brother and his mates who are all younger, I didn’t mean to act flirty and I didn’t even realize it was happening but now I don’t know what to do. I really wanted a fresh start but now I’m back to where I was.

Hi there,

Firstly, please don't let the opinions of some boys get to you! I know how it feels to want to be well liked and have lots of friends, but it isn't always the key to enjoying your time at sixth form.

Regarding your ex relationship and the apparent rumors coming from it, I would suggest not rising to them and try to ignore them. I know it's not always easy to ignore these things, but the more you rise to them, the more hold they have over you. It sounds like you have some strong friendships with your girl friends, so I would perhaps focus on these friendships for now.

I'm not saying that you can't be friends with the boys in your sixth form either, as I'm sure many of them aren't interested in what's going on. I think your ex will get bored, especially if you're showing you're not interested in the rumors going on.

All that being said, if things are escalating and continue to bother you, I would suggest chatting to a teacher or member of staff that you trust. You don't necessarily have to 'tell' on the students' who are bothering you if you don't want to, but if you're feeling low about the situation, its not good to keep things bottled up.

You want to enjoy your time at sixth form and shouldn't have to deal with this. I don't think you've missed out on your chance for a fresh start - it doesn't have to just start at the beginning of the academic year, you can start afresh whenever you like. I hope things start to improve for you, but like I said, don't be afraid to reach out too.

Hope this helps. 🙂
Emily
Student Rep at BCU

Reply 2

ameliasmith1592

4

Original post by Anonymous

I go to a small sixth form with around 50 people in year 12, there are 9 girls and about 40 boys who have know each other from around year 7. I went into the sixth form dating one of the boys but after he could deal with the fact I had friends who were boys we decided to break up, I have two close friends who are girls there and have made some friends with the boys. It is important to mention that I was badly bullied at my secondary school for 5 years by a few girls so sixth form was a fresh start.
After the break up I thought things would get better however he isn’t taking it so well, he has been spreading rumors and making fun of me in public settings, there had been a small incident where another boy accidentally miss read the situation and thought I liked him only a week after the break up, this lead a lot of the boys to suspect I lead him on and that I was a flirt, when in reality I just wanted to make friends, I have heard from sources that the boys had all had a conversation about their dislike of me for apparently leading multiple boys on at one time along with the fact I talk to much and have an annoying voice. I found out due to one of them coming clean that most of the boys actually do not like me, and that my ex had been making up false claims about me. I don’t really know what to do because with only 50 people in a year group I want to make lots of friends, before coming to this school I only had talked to boys in there context of my brother and his mates who are all younger, I didn’t mean to act flirty and I didn’t even realize it was happening but now I don’t know what to do. I really wanted a fresh start but now I’m back to where I was.

Here’s how you can handle the situation step by step:
1. Focus on your true friends: Stick close to your two girl friends who have your back. They will support you, and their company will help you stay grounded.
2. Address rumors calmly: Speak directly to the boys who are spreading rumors. Set the record straight, but don’t engage in arguments or drama. Show them your maturity.
3. Own your confidence: People are drawn to confidence. Walk tall, stay positive, and don’t let others’ opinions define your worth.
4. Clarify your intentions: If some boys misunderstood your friendliness, it’s okay to explain that you were just trying to be friends, not lead anyone on.
5. Limit interactions with your ex: Distance yourself from your ex and avoid responding to his negativity. The less attention you give it, the less power it holds.
6. Be yourself unapologetically: Don't change who you are to fit in. Focus on what makes you happy and surround yourself with those who value you for you.
By staying strong and handling this with grace, you'll gain respect over time.

(edited 2 months ago)

How to get people to like me

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