I’m gay hot but not straight hot

This sounds weird but has anyone else ever faced this?

I’m a lesbian, I get attention from women that are sometimes really attractive but never had much attention from men. Everyone else is always surprised by the women I sometimes date because they wouldn’t expect a woman like that to like me. I’d say I’m average looking and slim but apart from that I’m not stunning etc. Everyone says I seem innocent as well when they don’t know me well enough but friends know that I’m not innocent.

Anyway- is this a thing in the gay community? It’s a little confidence damaging when people are surprised by who I date

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

As a lesbian (as opposed to someone who's straight or bi), I don't get why it bothers you that you don't get attention from men... I would have thought that it would have been an ideal situation for you?

I'm a straight guy, myself... so I'm only interested in women finding me attractive; but from a narcissistic point of view, I don't mind the odd guy liking me. However, it would concern me somewhat if I was getting as many guys fancying me as there were girls (or more guys lol)... as that would imply that I'm doing something that would attract gay guys.

Another thing is that nowadays with things like the #MeToo campaign, guys can be a lot less forward about showing their interest in someone for fear of being labelled a creep / sex-pest.

I wouldn't worry about what other people think about your choices... as long as you and the lucky lady are both happy, it's no one else's concern. Just own it and say something like, "I don't run with the crowds" or "I like to shock people", give a cheeky grin and carry on.

Reply 2

zennynyny

i’m a lesbian and i get attention from neither gender, the wonders of social anxiety

Reply 3

zennynyny

btw you shouldn’t care wether someone likes you or not, it doesn’t matter

Reply 4

anosmianAcrimony

I bet there are plenty of lesbians out there who would prefer to have less attention from men.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 5

reallycringename

Original post

by Anonymous

This sounds weird but has anyone else ever faced this?
I’m a lesbian, I get attention from women that are sometimes really attractive but never had much attention from men. Everyone else is always surprised by the women I sometimes date because they wouldn’t expect a woman like that to like me. I’d say I’m average looking and slim but apart from that I’m not stunning etc. Everyone says I seem innocent as well when they don’t know me well enough but friends know that I’m not innocent.
Anyway- is this a thing in the gay community? It’s a little confidence damaging when people are surprised by who I date

Does it... matter?
"I'm a lesbian but the gender I'm not attracted to isn't attracted to me"

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

This sounds weird but has anyone else ever faced this?
I’m a lesbian, I get attention from women that are sometimes really attractive but never had much attention from men. Everyone else is always surprised by the women I sometimes date because they wouldn’t expect a woman like that to like me. I’d say I’m average looking and slim but apart from that I’m not stunning etc. Everyone says I seem innocent as well when they don’t know me well enough but friends know that I’m not innocent.
Anyway- is this a thing in the gay community? It’s a little confidence damaging when people are surprised by who I date

It’s the opposite for me. I’m a lesbian that gets more attention from males than women☹️

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

Why do you want attention from men? Imo, men have different standards of attractiveness than lesbians & bi women (ours are better 😀) . An obvious example is that men often find masc/butch lesbians ugly, whereas a lot of lesbians find them v attractive.

If you aren't attracted to men, there's no need to worry about their opinion. Attractiveness is subjective anyway. You say girls like you, that's what's important.