Sad about being behind + a mess (starting uni in early/mid 20s)

If anyone knows where i can advice from people who went to uni in their 20s please let me know!
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Context:

Hi everyone, i'm a 22 yo first-year physics student at uni, but i'm still thinking of applying to uni again for 2025/6 entry (2026 if i want to apply to oxbridge which i hope is still an option) because i'm not sure if my course is for me. Don't get me wrong, i do like physics but it's more of a safety net - it's broad and i don't see myself doing a masters in physics let alone a phd.

For context i finished sixth form in 2020 right as the pandemic lockdown began. I did well academically - Covid grades but A*AAA. I initially took a gap year as i had NO clue what i wanted to do - 4 years have flown by and im still in the same position to the point i question if i have ADHD (among other things like anxiety but this isn't what this post is for) because the procrastination is on another level even when i try to figure out what i want to do in life. I feel like i'm still in the same stage as a sixth form student.

Right now i'm just lonely (50/50 by choice), attending lectures and staying in my room - met the flatmates who are lovely but i haven't formed anything close to a friendship yet. Looking to go to internship fairs etc. I don't even have good clothes i'm literally a walking shell (at least to others if i was honest). Scrolling through tiktoks and seeing people graduating from med school at 23 etc is killing meee.

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Anyways here is my plan (if anyone can check this i'd really appreciate it!):

Do my best with first year and try anything and everything to get some sort of income. Really improve myself as a person.

1) If that happens and i realize there is a better course out there then i'll either drop out early or do the full year and get references from tutors to apply in 2025.

2) Stick it out with the degree and either start working, begin a masters in anything i'm interested in at the time or a second undergraduate degree (which already sounds draining which is why i'd rather not but at the same time at least i have a degree).

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Worries (socially):

I'm also worried about the social aspect. What would it be like being a 24/25 year old fresher? I would much rather be around people my age but i know that's not feasible at uni, especially because i'd like to engage with people at uni for the uni experience and most people my age will have finished uni and working.

And graduating near 30 is crazy to me. Can't believe how it's come to this.

Thanks for reading if you did.

Reply 1

WaistcoatRich

I know somebody who’s just finished their freshman year as an undergrad at age 51. My uni has a ‘mature students’ social club for anyone who's older than the average for their course (incl. 20-somethings and 30-somethings), and a couple of things I’ve noticed: (1) we’re all really good students, and (2) a lot of us seem to be neurodiverse, so ADHD might not be a bad guess. Check whether there’s a similar ‘mature students’ network at your uni.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by WaistcoatRich

Thanks. I will definitely check out the mature students society but i think starting uni at 50 is still very different to early / mid 20s.

Reply 3

threeportdrift

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

If anyone knows where i can advice from people who went to uni in their 20s please let me know!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Context:
Hi everyone, i'm a 22 yo first-year physics student at uni, but i'm still thinking of applying to uni again for 2025/6 entry (2026 if i want to apply to oxbridge which i hope is still an option) because i'm not sure if my course is for me. Don't get me wrong, i do like physics but it's more of a safety net - it's broad and i don't see myself doing a masters in physics let alone a phd.
For context i finished sixth form in 2020 right as the pandemic lockdown began. I did well academically - Covid grades but A*AAA. I initially took a gap year as i had NO clue what i wanted to do - 4 years have flown by and im still in the same position to the point i question if i have ADHD (among other things like anxiety but this isn't what this post is for) because the procrastination is on another level even when i try to figure out what i want to do in life. I feel like i'm still in the same stage as a sixth form student.
Right now i'm just lonely (50/50 by choice), attending lectures and staying in my room - met the flatmates who are lovely but i haven't formed anything close to a friendship yet. Looking to go to internship fairs etc. I don't even have good clothes i'm literally a walking shell (at least to others if i was honest). Scrolling through tiktoks and seeing people graduating from med school at 23 etc is killing meee.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyways here is my plan (if anyone can check this i'd really appreciate it!):
Do my best with first year and try anything and everything to get some sort of income. Really improve myself as a person.
1) If that happens and i realize there is a better course out there then i'll either drop out early or do the full year and get references from tutors to apply in 2025.
2) Stick it out with the degree and either start working, begin a masters in anything i'm interested in at the time or a second undergraduate degree (which already sounds draining which is why i'd rather not but at the same time at least i have a degree).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Worries (socially):
I'm also worried about the social aspect. What would it be like being a 24/25 year old fresher? I would much rather be around people my age but i know that's not feasible at uni, especially because i'd like to engage with people at uni for the uni experience and most people my age will have finished uni and working.
And graduating near 30 is crazy to me. Can't believe how it's come to this.
Thanks for reading if you did.

You are an adult now. Adults don't measure where they are in life from year to year - that's a children's/school mentality. There's simply no such thing as being 'behind' as an adult (unless you've got Asian parents perhaps!).

Your age isn't tattooed to your forehead. You are what you are, and it needn't be a point of discussion.

On not knowing what to do - the only way you find out is by doing things and either liking them or disliking them. So start trying things - like you are with the degree (btw, Oxbridge probably isn't an option, neither like transfers, unless the grades are stellar and the course is different). Make a deal with yourself to join two societies each new academic year and stick them for at least the first term. Volunteer for something outside Uni. That will all let you find out much more about yourself and what you do and don't want out of life.

Reply 4

TheStudyWIZARD

Original post by Anonymous

If anyone knows where i can advice from people who went to uni in their 20s please let me know!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Context:
Hi everyone, i'm a 22 yo first-year physics student at uni, but i'm still thinking of applying to uni again for 2025/6 entry (2026 if i want to apply to oxbridge which i hope is still an option) because i'm not sure if my course is for me. Don't get me wrong, i do like physics but it's more of a safety net - it's broad and i don't see myself doing a masters in physics let alone a phd.
For context i finished sixth form in 2020 right as the pandemic lockdown began. I did well academically - Covid grades but A*AAA. I initially took a gap year as i had NO clue what i wanted to do - 4 years have flown by and im still in the same position to the point i question if i have ADHD (among other things like anxiety but this isn't what this post is for) because the procrastination is on another level even when i try to figure out what i want to do in life. I feel like i'm still in the same stage as a sixth form student.
Right now i'm just lonely (50/50 by choice), attending lectures and staying in my room - met the flatmates who are lovely but i haven't formed anything close to a friendship yet. Looking to go to internship fairs etc. I don't even have good clothes i'm literally a walking shell (at least to others if i was honest). Scrolling through tiktoks and seeing people graduating from med school at 23 etc is killing meee.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyways here is my plan (if anyone can check this i'd really appreciate it!):
Do my best with first year and try anything and everything to get some sort of income. Really improve myself as a person.
1) If that happens and i realize there is a better course out there then i'll either drop out early or do the full year and get references from tutors to apply in 2025.
2) Stick it out with the degree and either start working, begin a masters in anything i'm interested in at the time or a second undergraduate degree (which already sounds draining which is why i'd rather not but at the same time at least i have a degree).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Worries (socially):
I'm also worried about the social aspect. What would it be like being a 24/25 year old fresher? I would much rather be around people my age but i know that's not feasible at uni, especially because i'd like to engage with people at uni for the uni experience and most people my age will have finished uni and working.
And graduating near 30 is crazy to me. Can't believe how it's come to this.
Thanks for reading if you did.

For what it's worth, I've got multiple friends who have started University later in life. The one closest to your age though, started his Entry Degree in 2022/2023 at 26. He's now in his second year of his Undergraduate Degree at 28 (he'll turn 29 this year) and isn't set to finish University until he's 30 next year. Nobody views him any differently though! Sure, he get the ol' old man joke occasionally, but nobody actually thinks any differently of him. He's on his own path, which isn't behind or in-front of anybody else.

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