The Student Room Group

is it normal to share a car with your mum?

im turning 18 in jan and currently learning how to drive. i live with my mum and my dad does not support us financially however my mum does have a good job. insurance is crazy so i understand but i cant help but feel embarrassed and tied down and that i will be sharing a car with my mum even once ive passed and ive gotten my licence. how do i get past the embarrassment?
Reply 1

Original post by isaluvr
im turning 18 in jan and currently learning how to drive. i live with my mum and my dad does not support us financially however my mum does have a good job. insurance is crazy so i understand but i cant help but feel embarrassed and tied down and that i will be sharing a car with my mum even once ive passed and ive gotten my licence. how do i get past the embarrassment?

Talk to your mum about how you're feeling. She might have some insights or solutions that could help, like setting up a schedule for car use or discussing future plans for getting your own car.
Original post by isaluvr
im turning 18 in jan and currently learning how to drive. i live with my mum and my dad does not support us financially however my mum does have a good job. insurance is crazy so i understand but i cant help but feel embarrassed and tied down and that i will be sharing a car with my mum even once ive passed and ive gotten my licence. how do i get past the embarrassment?

No one will care who owns the car you drive about in, and when push comes to shove, how many 18 year old can afford their own car? it will either be through their parents one way or another or financed. You say you'll feel tied down and 'even once you've passed' you'll be sharing a car.. so what exactly were you expecting, did you think you would get handed a car when you passed?
Reply 3
Original post by StriderHort
No one will care who owns the car you drive about in, and when push comes to shove, how many 18 year old can afford their own car? it will either be through their parents one way or another or financed. You say you'll feel tied down and 'even once you've passed' you'll be sharing a car.. so what exactly were you expecting, did you think you would get handed a car when you passed?


all of the people i know/friends with have been. they practiced in their family car but as their ‘gift’ for passing they received a car. i dont expect that, im grateful i even get to use it but i cant help but feel embarrassed
Original post by isaluvr
all of the people i know/friends with have been. they practiced in their family car but as their ‘gift’ for passing they received a car. i dont expect that, im grateful i even get to use it but i cant help but feel embarrassed

You have a First World Problem. Do you share a house with your Mother? Is that also embarrassing you?

Worrying about how others might judge you based on the possession or otherwise of material things is not a good habit to get into at the beginning of adult life. There will always be others who have more than you have, but also many who have less, in some cases much less.
Original post by isaluvr
all of the people i know/friends with have been. they practiced in their family car but as their ‘gift’ for passing they received a car. i dont expect that, im grateful i even get to use it but i cant help but feel embarrassed

All of them? they all got handed a car when they passed? In that case you are 100% only associating with rich people, many kid don't get handed cars anymore esp as the cost of motoring has done nothing but get crazier

You don't mention having a job or income. what do you need the car for and how would you be paying for it's upkeep? insurance, tax, MOTs, fuel etc, easily 1000s a year. If you're from a single/working parent household then getting handed all this would be a bit unlikely. I had a single/working mum too so she needed her car for work so I never got to use/practice in it, I was lucky enough to get help with the cost of lessons and keeping my first car fixed up, but just getting handed a car wasn't happening.
Reply 6
Original post by StriderHort
All of them? they all got handed a car when they passed? In that case you are 100% only associating with rich people, many kid don't get handed cars anymore esp as the cost of motoring has done nothing but get crazier
You don't mention having a job or income. what do you need the car for and how would you be paying for it's upkeep? insurance, tax, MOTs, fuel etc, easily 1000s a year. If you're from a single/working parent household then getting handed all this would be a bit unlikely. I had a single/working mum too so she needed her car for work so I never got to use/practice in it, I was lucky enough to get help with the cost of lessons and keeping my first car fixed up, but just getting handed a car wasn't happening.


i agree. but im not saying i should just be handed it im asking how do i deal with the embarrassment of it, i work however its a very bad job and im looking elsewhere, we are fortunate to live nextdoor to a station and my mum does work on trains so she doesnt need the car for work. but im saying how do i deal with telling these people that actually i wont have the car all the time because its not just mine, they’ll get so weird with me??
Reply 7
Original post by Stiffy Byng
You have a First World Problem. Do you share a house with your Mother? Is that also embarrassing you?
Worrying about how others might judge you based on the possession or otherwise of material things is not a good habit to get into at the beginning of adult life. There will always be others who have more than you have, but also many who have less, in some cases much less.


i have no problem with people owning more than me, ive had that my whole life. im worried about being judged, i overthink a lot and i dont want to be judged for this
Never worry about being judged on such trivial bases. You should only worry about being judged for unethical conduct.

You really are worrying about nothing here. Turn on a TV news show, and please reflect on how tiny your problem is. Wars, famines, hurricanes, tyranny, crime, poverty, and you are freaking out about people saying "Hey, look at X in his/her Mum's car. What a loser!"
Original post by isaluvr
im turning 18 in jan and currently learning how to drive. i live with my mum and my dad does not support us financially however my mum does have a good job. insurance is crazy so i understand but i cant help but feel embarrassed and tied down and that i will be sharing a car with my mum even once ive passed and ive gotten my licence. how do i get past the embarrassment?

If it's your own car you totally have the right to set that boundary with your mum. However if it's her car you don't really have a right to say anything.
Original post by isaluvr
i agree. but im not saying i should just be handed it im asking how do i deal with the embarrassment of it, i work however its a very bad job and im looking elsewhere, we are fortunate to live nextdoor to a station and my mum does work on trains so she doesnt need the car for work. but im saying how do i deal with telling these people that actually i wont have the car all the time because its not just mine, they’ll get so weird with me??

It's a total non issue - anyone that cares about it is the sort of person you shouldn't care about what they think.

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