The Student Room Group

im a nightmare roommate

not on purpose... but i totally am.

i moved into my current room a week later than everyone else due to issues with my initial accommodation, so already, i was a bit of an outsider considering the rest of my roommates have become pretty good friends in that week. on top of that, theyre all on the same course except from me, so they see each other way more often.

since moving in though, i've only actually had a conversation with one of them. im pretty sure two don't know what i look like. due to conflicting schedules, and my sleep disorder, i havent even seen them.

because of said sleep disorder, im rarely awake during the day. most of my lectures are in the afternoon/evening, so ive been managing to wake up about 15 minutes before to make them. the morning ones are attended off of all-nighters. either way, as soon as im back in my room, i crash out. if i hadnt had a brief conversation with one of the girls the night i moved in, and the scarce food i kept in my section of the fridge, i would probably be some kind of myth to them.

speaking of the food in the fridge... i have a few bits and pieces in my section still from when i first moved in which have long dates on them. this past weekend, however, i had to go home to help with a family emergency, and in my haste to leave, didnt check the fridge. i returned monday night, slept the whole of tuesday, and woke up to attend a class today - i did not go in the kitchen at any point during this time. when i got back, i went to grab something out of the fridge, and was met with a note.

i had left a carton of milk in the fridge. despite being unopened, it somehow spilt, and over the weekend, went out of date. none of them saw me to ask me to clean it, since i wasnt there, and they therefore cleaned it themselves. the note wasnt rude or anything, but oh my god. i want to die. i feel genuinely awful.

i am a nightmare roommate. i am repulsed by my actions, or rather, inaction. if, on the off chance, any of you are reading this, please god please i am so sorry. my deepest, sincerest apologies that my presence is tarnishing the pleasant experience im sure you were having prior to my arrival.
(edited 2 months ago)
Reply 1
Original post by arachred
not on purpose... but i totally am.
i moved into my current room a week later than everyone else due to issues with my initial accommodation, so already, i was a bit of an outsider considering the rest of my roommates have become pretty good friends in that week. on top of that, theyre all on the same course except from me, so they see each other way more often.
since moving in though, i've only actually had a conversation with one of them. im pretty sure two don't know what i look like. due to conflicting schedules, and my sleep disorder, i havent even seen them.
because of said sleep disorder, im rarely awake during the day. most of my lectures are in the afternoon/evening, so ive been managing to wake up about 15 minutes before to make them. the morning ones are attended off of all-nighters. either way, as soon as im back in my room, i crash out. if i hadnt had a brief conversation with one of the girls the night i moved in, and the scarce food i kept in my section of the fridge, i would probably be some kind of myth to them.
speaking of the food in the fridge... i have a few bits and pieces in my section still from when i first moved in which have long dates on them. this past weekend, however, i had to go home to help with a family emergency, and in my haste to leave, didnt check the fridge. i returned monday night, slept the whole of tuesday, and woke up to attend a class today - i did not go in the kitchen at any point during this time. when i got back, i went to grab something out of the fridge, and was met with a note.
i had left a carton of milk in the fridge. despite being unopened, it somehow spilt, and over the weekend, went out of date. none of them saw me to ask me to clean it, since i wasnt there, and they therefore cleaned it themselves. the note wasnt rude or anything, but oh my god. i want to die. i feel genuinely awful.
i am a nightmare roommate. i am repulsed by my actions, or rather, inaction. if, on the off chance, any of you are reading this, please god please i am so sorry. my deepest, sincerest apologies that my presence is tarnishing the pleasant experience im sure you were having prior to my arrival.

It's doesn't really matter, I mean they're just getting used to you, so with time they will come along
Reply 2
Hey it's ok. you're being hard on yourself but it's not a big deal. My roommate fries eggs directly on the hob without a frying pan
Original post by robux
Hey it's ok. you're being hard on yourself but it's not a big deal. My roommate fries eggs directly on the hob without a frying pan


!!!
Original post by robux
hey it's ok. You're being hard on yourself but it's not a big deal. My roommate fries eggs directly on the hob without a frying pan

you take that back
You don't sound like a nightmare roommate at all! A nightmare roommate is one who is intrusive, controlling, annoying, you can't get away from them... in contrast it sounds like your roommates hardly ever interact with you. An argument could be made that that makes you the IDEAL roommate!

Re: the milk incident... the way you described it, you left it in the fridge UNOPENED and in your absence someone else opened it, spilled it, and let it spoil. How on earth is that your fault? Are you sure the note was even intended for you?
Reply 6
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
You don't sound like a nightmare roommate at all! A nightmare roommate is one who is intrusive, controlling, annoying, you can't get away from them... in contrast it sounds like your roommates hardly ever interact with you. An argument could be made that that makes you the IDEAL roommate!
Re: the milk incident... the way you described it, you left it in the fridge UNOPENED and in your absence someone else opened it, spilled it, and let it spoil. How on earth is that your fault? Are you sure the note was even intended for you?

the note was definitely for me - it was left on my shelf, and all of my other roommates see and speak to each other on a daily basis, so if it was one of them then the note wouldn't have been left there at all. i did wonder how exactly it spilled in the first place, considering it was sealed, but the note phrased it as if they thought i knew i had spilled it and just not bothered to clean it up so i was too stressed about that to really think about how it happened. at first i wondered if they meant something else had spilled, but the only other thing i had that could was a tub of soup, which was also unopened and is still in there. it is a bit weird.

since moving here, ive developed a really bad tendency of catastrophising things in my head that really aren't a big deal. ive been so worried about little things, like if i snore and whether or not its loud enough for them to hear, if im making too much noise when i walk around my room. i didn't listen to music for ages after moving in because i was worried that i was unknowingly making noise when i had my headphone on, like unintentionally humming or singing... stupid, right?

reading this post back, it really isnt that big of a deal, life happens and things like this are part of it... but im only able to realise that now because ive found something else to stress about since waking up lmao
@arachred - thanks for reaching out with this. Please rest assured that lots of people are going through the same experience as you - its normal to worry about little things when you're in a new social environment as everyone's in the same boat trying to make good impressions on those around them. Please don't be hard on yourself because neither the milk incident nor the fact that you need a different routine to your flatmates for medical reasons are your fault. If you find yourself frequently stressed, perhaps consider chatting to your uni's wellbeing team - maybe they can help you manage this?

For the record, you absolutely do not sound like a nightmare roommate, you just sound like a quieter person who is perhaps a little shy? I had roommates in my first year who never did their washing up, who let raw chicken spoil in the fridge, and left empty bottles on the side. A friend of mine was in a flat where her flatmates played loud house music until late at night, meaning she couldn't sleep. The fact that you are feeling worried about this speaks for itself that you are 100% not a nightmare roommate. I'd encourage you to try to cut yourself some slack, and if it will make you feel less worried, perhaps try to talk to your flatmates and explain your situation (i.e. the milk incident, how you had to go away, why you need to sleep at different times if you are comfortable doing so) to help them understand. I think you'll be surprised as they may well react really positively to this.

I hope this helps and wishing you luck 🙂

Holly
University of Bath
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by robux
Hey it's ok. you're being hard on yourself but it's not a big deal. My roommate fries eggs directly on the hob without a frying pan

I beg your pardon?
Original post by arachred
not on purpose... but i totally am.
i moved into my current room a week later than everyone else due to issues with my initial accommodation, so already, i was a bit of an outsider considering the rest of my roommates have become pretty good friends in that week. on top of that, theyre all on the same course except from me, so they see each other way more often.
since moving in though, i've only actually had a conversation with one of them. im pretty sure two don't know what i look like. due to conflicting schedules, and my sleep disorder, i havent even seen them.
because of said sleep disorder, im rarely awake during the day. most of my lectures are in the afternoon/evening, so ive been managing to wake up about 15 minutes before to make them. the morning ones are attended off of all-nighters. either way, as soon as im back in my room, i crash out. if i hadnt had a brief conversation with one of the girls the night i moved in, and the scarce food i kept in my section of the fridge, i would probably be some kind of myth to them.
speaking of the food in the fridge... i have a few bits and pieces in my section still from when i first moved in which have long dates on them. this past weekend, however, i had to go home to help with a family emergency, and in my haste to leave, didnt check the fridge. i returned monday night, slept the whole of tuesday, and woke up to attend a class today - i did not go in the kitchen at any point during this time. when i got back, i went to grab something out of the fridge, and was met with a note.
i had left a carton of milk in the fridge. despite being unopened, it somehow spilt, and over the weekend, went out of date. none of them saw me to ask me to clean it, since i wasnt there, and they therefore cleaned it themselves. the note wasnt rude or anything, but oh my god. i want to die. i feel genuinely awful.
i am a nightmare roommate. i am repulsed by my actions, or rather, inaction. if, on the off chance, any of you are reading this, please god please i am so sorry. my deepest, sincerest apologies that my presence is tarnishing the pleasant experience im sure you were having prior to my arrival.

Hey @arachred,

Moving in with flatmates - especially if you've previously been living alone or with family members - can be a challenging experience, so it's only natural for there to be some bumps along the way. You definitely don't sound like a bad roommate: you're not disrupting there schedules by having a slightly different one, and it's perfectly understandable that a family emergency would take priority over some food left in the fridge.

If possible, I'd try to have a quick chat with them before one of your lectures (or after one if they're still awake!) just to introduce yourself and explain your schedule. I know it can be intimidating if they're close friends with each other already, but building a good rapport with your flatmates will definitely make you personally feel better about your living situation. 🙂

Best of luck!
Eve (Kingston Rep).

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