I'm a teenage loser
I got very average GCSE grades apart from a 5 in maths - my mom said my dad would be ashamed. That day I cried tears of joy that I even passed and was able to do my A levels because I was so convinced I would fail. I don't have friends IRL. I listen to goth music but can't afford gothic clothes, I dress the most bland way ever. I don't accessories myself or make myself look good. My hair is dyed a dark red but it has faded. I do my makeup everyday just to sit in the library alone and scroll forums or watch Kitchen Nightmare episodes. I'm failing all topic tests. I don't get bullied or anything, just straight up ignored. Friends I had last year from my old campus (same school, diff campus) who also moved with me for some reason pretended they didn't know me this year, I never got an explanation. I accidentally made a guy break up with his gf only for him to start talking to me and go back to her (I had never talked to her btw, I didn't know she was uncomfortable and if anything I was encouraging them NOT to break up). He took my first kiss too, it was nice while it lasted and I was grateful it was him bc it could've been some creep but it was a guy I liked. shorty after me and him kissed I remember I saw a bunch of TikToks about women hating their first kiss and I thought, "That could never be me". It is me. I can't make friends, I really struggle. I have been in 0 IRL relationships and I turn 17 next Saturday. Speaking of birthdays, I haven't celebrated my birthday in over 10 years because everyone I would invite wouldn't come. Am I destined to be alone? Will this continue into my adulthood?
It's horrible that you dad would be ashamed of you. Parents should always support you no matter what grades you get in school. You aren't a failure or a loser at all, it seems to me your environment and the people you associate yourself with are causing you to feel this way. You need more self worth and you need to believe in yourself, that way you'll have better friends and you can be your best self. I haven't been in a committed relationship and I'm several years older than you, yet I'm alright with things. You don't need a girlfriend and if you really want one, work on yourself and don't worry about competition or other people, worry about fixing yourself then you'll have what you want. Adulthood can be lonely and awful, but again work on yourself, be the best you you can be, and try hard, and don't hang around people who don't appreciate you. Find those who represent the best parts of yourself and don't let people and situations dictate how you're meant to feel about yourself. If other boys take the girls you like then so what? Go find the girls you love you and want you. I've been in a goth-like phase before, people get into that because they feel their lives are terrible and life is against them, but the truth is you're against you, and the only way out of that is to find the people who share your qualities and make friends with those who see the best in you.
Original post by JDINCINERATOR
It's horrible that you dad would be ashamed of you. Parents should always support you no matter what grades you get in school. You aren't a failure or a loser at all, it seems to me your environment and the people you associate yourself with are causing you to feel this way. You need more self worth and you need to believe in yourself, that way you'll have better friends and you can be your best self. I haven't been in a committed relationship and I'm several years older than you, yet I'm alright with things. You don't need a girlfriend and if you really want one, work on yourself and don't worry about competition or other people, worry about fixing yourself then you'll have what you want. Adulthood can be lonely and awful, but again work on yourself, be the best you you can be, and try hard, and don't hang around people who don't appreciate you. Find those who represent the best parts of yourself and don't let people and situations dictate how you're meant to feel about yourself. If other boys take the girls you like then so what? Go find the girls you love you and want you. I've been in a goth-like phase before, people get into that because they feel their lives are terrible and life is against them, but the truth is you're against you, and the only way out of that is to find the people who share your qualities and make friends with those who see the best in you.
See that would make sense but I'm a girl, which makes things so much harder. Nobody expects a girl to be a loser. Girls are suppose to thrive in environments, we're suppose to have life easier and handed to us on a silver platter just because we're girls, yet that's just not what's going on. When boys take an interest in me it's with the intent of manipulating and extorting me. I'm not stupid, I won't let them, yet sometimes I have the urge to allow it just to feel some sort of love or pride in being a woman. I'm not against me, I love myself. I'm completely comfortable sitting in the library alone or playing games by myself, I don't have a low-self esteem yet I don't have an over-inflated ego. What I'm not okay with is constantly being alone for every day of my life for the past few years. I can hold short conversations with people yet it never goes deeper than talking about schoolwork. It feels like today's society dictates my worth on whether or not I have a boyfriend or am social enough. I have neither of those things. Kinda sucks
Original post by reallycringename
See that would make sense but I'm a girl, which makes things so much harder. Nobody expects a girl to be a loser. Girls are suppose to thrive in environments, we're suppose to have life easier and handed to us on a silver platter just because we're girls, yet that's just not what's going on. When boys take an interest in me it's with the intent of manipulating and extorting me. I'm not stupid, I won't let them, yet sometimes I have the urge to allow it just to feel some sort of love or pride in being a woman. I'm not against me, I love myself. I'm completely comfortable sitting in the library alone or playing games by myself, I don't have a low-self esteem yet I don't have an over-inflated ego. What I'm not okay with is constantly being alone for every day of my life for the past few years. I can hold short conversations with people yet it never goes deeper than talking about schoolwork. It feels like today's society dictates my worth on whether or not I have a boyfriend or am social enough. I have neither of those things. Kinda sucks
This would be a bit narrow as not everyone thinks in the same way.
Try opting for a more positive mindset - if you want to make a change in loneliness, you have to do something about it.
Could be joining clubs, sports, societies, or just a normal friendly conversation in lessons!
I hope everything will go well for you, don’t let the loneliness get to you.
Don't listen to anyone who gives you any negative feelings. Just know your grades do not in any way, shape or form define your potential and abilities. I am proud of you, no matter your grades, and I hope everything goes better for you 
a bit late but i was in the exact same position as you last year. this is gonna be really tough and nerve wracking but you’re gonna have to try to insert yourself into a group of friends that you want to hang out with. try someone that you may be an acquaintance with in a lesson, or someone you walk a similar direction with to get home - just find a common ground with someone and no it is never too late!! but to do this you must first drop your negative mindset and bury it in the past. present yourself as confident and willing to start conversations with people instead of secluding yourself. try to involve yourself in active school projects and volunteer outside of school to expand your social connections further. it sounds easier than it is but i promise it’s worth it. i used to be so depressed throughout the entirety of y12 because i was lonely all the time and hardly attended school as a result, but now im probably the happiest i’ve ever been and it feels more rewarding because i know i worked hard to get myself here and im sure you will too. i wish you the best of luck
Original post by reallycringename
I got very average GCSE grades apart from a 5 in maths - my mom said my dad would be ashamed. That day I cried tears of joy that I even passed and was able to do my A levels because I was so convinced I would fail. I don't have friends IRL. I listen to goth music but can't afford gothic clothes, I dress the most bland way ever. I don't accessories myself or make myself look good. My hair is dyed a dark red but it has faded. I do my makeup everyday just to sit in the library alone and scroll forums or watch Kitchen Nightmare episodes. I'm failing all topic tests. I don't get bullied or anything, just straight up ignored. Friends I had last year from my old campus (same school, diff campus) who also moved with me for some reason pretended they didn't know me this year, I never got an explanation. I accidentally made a guy break up with his gf only for him to start talking to me and go back to her (I had never talked to her btw, I didn't know she was uncomfortable and if anything I was encouraging them NOT to break up). He took my first kiss too, it was nice while it lasted and I was grateful it was him bc it could've been some creep but it was a guy I liked. shorty after me and him kissed I remember I saw a bunch of TikToks about women hating their first kiss and I thought, "That could never be me". It is me. I can't make friends, I really struggle. I have been in 0 IRL relationships and I turn 17 next Saturday. Speaking of birthdays, I haven't celebrated my birthday in over 10 years because everyone I would invite wouldn't come. Am I destined to be alone? Will this continue into my adulthood?
Well firstly: happy birthday, congrats on your GCSEs, and I think doing makeup even if you're alone is so fab (I do the exact same thing)- also I love the faded red hair colour. It's so fab...!!
I'm nearly the same age as you (a couple months younger), so I do feel some of this to an extent; but to be honest, I fake self-confidence until it becomes real. (and it does become real!)
Those friends (to be blunt) sound a bit ****. In my experience, though, we're all growing and a little self-obsessed- friendships and friendgroups fall apart for absolutely no reason. I doubt it was your fault, so don't stress about it.
If you wanted to make more friends, I would recommend youth clubs, events or groups. Being homeschooled, I don't have the best social scene, but I've a few friends in girl guides and youth clubs! Going to clubs based on interests is better for making friends than school, cuz ur more likely to bond over a shared interest.
If you want to dress or look a specific way, I'd 100% recommend charity/thrift shops and even Primarka. There's a lot of variety in those stores. the reduced halloween/fancy xmas jewellery in Primark could be considered pretty gothic, when styled right! But don't let the gothic "aesthetic" make you feel worse or wallow in misery and bad thoughts. Be positive about your grades: average is good enough, which is all you need.
And I'm dead serious, stop thinking so negatively about yourself. We're all losers, gurl. Nobody's perfect.
Wishing you the best xxx
Original post by reallycringename
I got very average GCSE grades apart from a 5 in maths - my mom said my dad would be ashamed. That day I cried tears of joy that I even passed and was able to do my A levels because I was so convinced I would fail. I don't have friends IRL. I listen to goth music but can't afford gothic clothes, I dress the most bland way ever. I don't accessories myself or make myself look good. My hair is dyed a dark red but it has faded. I do my makeup everyday just to sit in the library alone and scroll forums or watch Kitchen Nightmare episodes. I'm failing all topic tests. I don't get bullied or anything, just straight up ignored. Friends I had last year from my old campus (same school, diff campus) who also moved with me for some reason pretended they didn't know me this year, I never got an explanation. I accidentally made a guy break up with his gf only for him to start talking to me and go back to her (I had never talked to her btw, I didn't know she was uncomfortable and if anything I was encouraging them NOT to break up). He took my first kiss too, it was nice while it lasted and I was grateful it was him bc it could've been some creep but it was a guy I liked. shorty after me and him kissed I remember I saw a bunch of TikToks about women hating their first kiss and I thought, "That could never be me". It is me. I can't make friends, I really struggle. I have been in 0 IRL relationships and I turn 17 next Saturday. Speaking of birthdays, I haven't celebrated my birthday in over 10 years because everyone I would invite wouldn't come. Am I destined to be alone? Will this continue into my adulthood?
you're not alone. listen to my story. i just had a breakdown and was crying by myself. i am 20 and i am from a third world country.i hate my country and culture and people. but i have been forced to live in this country until i graduate and oneday i might immigrate (maybe i'll be 50 then) i see so many people of my ethnicity who hates western culture or simply not interested in america/uk/australia. i wake up at 6 am to go to ******* college in a overcrowded bus i don't have friends and i can't date because i am not pretty and i am not attracted to my ethnicity. i love western/english music, j-pop stuffs but i can't afford a single thing.oh and i never went to anywhere. my parents never took me to vacation. i haven't seen a beach, mountain or forest in my life. i am so alone. i always wanted a n older brother but fortunately/unfortunately i have none. my celebrity crushes are dating, i HATE that nothing works for me. i can't even pursue my dream career. and yeah i never been to a restaurant. i only had pizza after i was like 16. i can't celebrate my birthday, my parents are poor and i never had a birthday cake. i have a hard time losing weight. i have ptsd bipolar anxiety and depression. i don't want to live. i envy even i see happy foreginers. sorry, i live worse than you.
You self label yourself as a loser? That is your biggest mistake. In life everyone seems to want to have a convenient label. Why is this necessary? You are as you are but don't sell your own self short - there will be plenty of others who will do this for you so why join them? By whose definition are you a loser? - By others or by your own learnt narrative? All losers need others. Never feel you are alone because you just haven't one or two of billions of people to share a similar mindset? Maybe your perspective on life generally is limited?
Home is wherever you perch for whatever that moment in time. True home is where your heart finally rests.
All that has happened is other people have defined your current mind set and you need to have the courage to find your own path. With so few years life experience you have nothing else to compare life to and its easy to believe everything is so negative.
Be your own secretary, organiser, cheer leader etc Look outwards and use whatever attributes that work for the good of other people. Make bucket lists of life experiences. Sign up. Volunteer. Start sports - a class, a team, try everything. You will never find friends alone in your room. If people don't want to hang about with you then that is their loss. Take a risk Rejection is not permanent but your mindset can be. Start the change by being positive. When your head offloads negative thoughts it scares people away. Monitor your thought processes, and stop the self destruction. For every negative thought get the antidote and make a positive statement. This gets balance (sun/rain; cold/warm) Get help to do this. Research the help groups online. Start looking after your human body. Diet, exercise, mind training.
Choose side splitting laughter every day. Sing, dance, walk, cry. But love yourself for whoever you want to be. Let everyone else function in their own biosphere. Often people are afraid and lack the courage to go against the mainstream flow of teenage pack leaders who can be very cruel and spiteful. Often people who hurt others in whatever way are deeply unhappy themselves. You won't be living at home forever. Be that person who loves life. But above all have a happy core and people will gravitate toward you.
Home is wherever you perch for whatever that moment in time. True home is where your heart finally rests.
All that has happened is other people have defined your current mind set and you need to have the courage to find your own path. With so few years life experience you have nothing else to compare life to and its easy to believe everything is so negative.
Be your own secretary, organiser, cheer leader etc Look outwards and use whatever attributes that work for the good of other people. Make bucket lists of life experiences. Sign up. Volunteer. Start sports - a class, a team, try everything. You will never find friends alone in your room. If people don't want to hang about with you then that is their loss. Take a risk Rejection is not permanent but your mindset can be. Start the change by being positive. When your head offloads negative thoughts it scares people away. Monitor your thought processes, and stop the self destruction. For every negative thought get the antidote and make a positive statement. This gets balance (sun/rain; cold/warm) Get help to do this. Research the help groups online. Start looking after your human body. Diet, exercise, mind training.
Choose side splitting laughter every day. Sing, dance, walk, cry. But love yourself for whoever you want to be. Let everyone else function in their own biosphere. Often people are afraid and lack the courage to go against the mainstream flow of teenage pack leaders who can be very cruel and spiteful. Often people who hurt others in whatever way are deeply unhappy themselves. You won't be living at home forever. Be that person who loves life. But above all have a happy core and people will gravitate toward you.
thats such a weird thing 2 say icl, op poster says 'my life bad' and u go on a tantrum like 'sorry my life worse'
Original post by Anonymous
thats such a weird thing 2 say icl, op poster says 'my life bad' and u go on a tantrum like 'sorry my life worse'
sorry didn't want to hurt you i meant there are people who might suffer more than you think hey i never meant to make you bad i just wanted to tell worse is there anyways i am sorry I was really having a horrible hour when i typed that sorry i hope you get better .
Original post by Anonymous
you're not alone. listen to my story. i just had a breakdown and was crying by myself. i am 20 and i am from a third world country.i hate my country and culture and people. but i have been forced to live in this country until i graduate and oneday i might immigrate (maybe i'll be 50 then) i see so many people of my ethnicity who hates western culture or simply not interested in america/uk/australia. i wake up at 6 am to go to ******* college in a overcrowded bus i don't have friends and i can't date because i am not pretty and i am not attracted to my ethnicity. i love western/english music, j-pop stuffs but i can't afford a single thing.oh and i never went to anywhere. my parents never took me to vacation. i haven't seen a beach, mountain or forest in my life. i am so alone. i always wanted a n older brother but fortunately/unfortunately i have none. my celebrity crushes are dating, i HATE that nothing works for me. i can't even pursue my dream career. and yeah i never been to a restaurant. i only had pizza after i was like 16. i can't celebrate my birthday, my parents are poor and i never had a birthday cake. i have a hard time losing weight. i have ptsd bipolar anxiety and depression. i don't want to live. i envy even i see happy foreginers. sorry, i live worse than you.
wow such a comforting thing to say !!
Original post by reallycringename
I got very average GCSE grades apart from a 5 in maths - my mom said my dad would be ashamed. That day I cried tears of joy that I even passed and was able to do my A levels because I was so convinced I would fail. I don't have friends IRL. I listen to goth music but can't afford gothic clothes, I dress the most bland way ever. I don't accessories myself or make myself look good. My hair is dyed a dark red but it has faded. I do my makeup everyday just to sit in the library alone and scroll forums or watch Kitchen Nightmare episodes. I'm failing all topic tests. I don't get bullied or anything, just straight up ignored. Friends I had last year from my old campus (same school, diff campus) who also moved with me for some reason pretended they didn't know me this year, I never got an explanation. I accidentally made a guy break up with his gf only for him to start talking to me and go back to her (I had never talked to her btw, I didn't know she was uncomfortable and if anything I was encouraging them NOT to break up). He took my first kiss too, it was nice while it lasted and I was grateful it was him bc it could've been some creep but it was a guy I liked. shorty after me and him kissed I remember I saw a bunch of TikToks about women hating their first kiss and I thought, "That could never be me". It is me. I can't make friends, I really struggle. I have been in 0 IRL relationships and I turn 17 next Saturday. Speaking of birthdays, I haven't celebrated my birthday in over 10 years because everyone I would invite wouldn't come. Am I destined to be alone? Will this continue into my adulthood?
Girl, life is too short to be thinking like this. There’s so many people to meet, experiences to have, places to see. Stop tying yourself down. Just because you’re in a bad position now, doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. Chin up chicken x
Original post by reallycringename
See that would make sense but I'm a girl, which makes things so much harder. Nobody expects a girl to be a loser. Girls are suppose to thrive in environments, we're suppose to have life easier and handed to us on a silver platter just because we're girls, yet that's just not what's going on. When boys take an interest in me it's with the intent of manipulating and extorting me. I'm not stupid, I won't let them, yet sometimes I have the urge to allow it just to feel some sort of love or pride in being a woman. I'm not against me, I love myself. I'm completely comfortable sitting in the library alone or playing games by myself, I don't have a low-self esteem yet I don't have an over-inflated ego. What I'm not okay with is constantly being alone for every day of my life for the past few years. I can hold short conversations with people yet it never goes deeper than talking about schoolwork. It feels like today's society dictates my worth on whether or not I have a boyfriend or am social enough. I have neither of those things. Kinda sucks
If it’s people at school that are that way, try and find people outside of school that can understand you maybe join a club and try to find people with the same interests as you then you have the possibility of conversation that’s meaningful to you.
I'd say at 17 it's probably not too bad, give how I'm now 23 and I've also never been in a relationship, and I also have no one to talk to. Not sure if it makes it any better or not.
Original post by reallycringename
I got very average GCSE grades apart from a 5 in maths - my mom said my dad would be ashamed. That day I cried tears of joy that I even passed and was able to do my A levels because I was so convinced I would fail. I don't have friends IRL. I listen to goth music but can't afford gothic clothes, I dress the most bland way ever. I don't accessories myself or make myself look good. My hair is dyed a dark red but it has faded. I do my makeup everyday just to sit in the library alone and scroll forums or watch Kitchen Nightmare episodes. I'm failing all topic tests. I don't get bullied or anything, just straight up ignored. Friends I had last year from my old campus (same school, diff campus) who also moved with me for some reason pretended they didn't know me this year, I never got an explanation. I accidentally made a guy break up with his gf only for him to start talking to me and go back to her (I had never talked to her btw, I didn't know she was uncomfortable and if anything I was encouraging them NOT to break up). He took my first kiss too, it was nice while it lasted and I was grateful it was him bc it could've been some creep but it was a guy I liked. shorty after me and him kissed I remember I saw a bunch of TikToks about women hating their first kiss and I thought, "That could never be me". It is me. I can't make friends, I really struggle. I have been in 0 IRL relationships and I turn 17 next Saturday. Speaking of birthdays, I haven't celebrated my birthday in over 10 years because everyone I would invite wouldn't come. Am I destined to be alone? Will this continue into my adulthood?
i would love to chat i feel like a loser sometimes too
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