Why does it feel like male attraction towards me is predatory

I'm a smaller woman, I'm in the 4ft and I'm very skinny with (thankfully) pretty good fat distribution - it all goes towards my lower body. That, however, means I've got a small chest.
Not only that, but my voice is relative high-pitched.
(If this helps, I turn 17 on the 19th oct.)
I'd say that on a general basis I'm somewhat immature, humour wise, but when needed I can defo mature or have deep conversations with people, I actually really enjoy debating or talking about serious topics such as feminism, etc.
However whenever a guy has been attracted to me something always felt off.
It's always a guy with some ****ed up fetishes, daddy kinks, wanting to borderline beat me up and what not.
I'm not one to kink shame, idc as long as it's consensual and not illegal, but it still bothers me that guys who's type I am always feel a certain way towards me.
They're all very controlling and usually older than me (NOT BY A LOT!! although I've had my fair share of creeps. Older I'd go is 18 and that's only because I turn 17 in a week.)
I've had my body compared to a 12 year old boy before, due to my chest, and whenever these guys compliment me they always use the words "small" or "carryable" or "easy to take advantage of"

Like.. geez, thanks!
Not only that but I am NEVER taken seriously in relationships. They expect me to sit quietly by their side and do what I'm told.

I've had an old friend of mine (someone I've known for years bc he helps me with schoolwork, he is much older than me) admit that he's waiting for my 18th birthday. Wow.

Will I ever find a guy who actually sees me for me and not a little girl?

Reply 1

Ciel.

Original post by reallycringename

I'm a smaller woman, I'm in the 4ft and I'm very skinny with (thankfully) pretty good fat distribution - it all goes towards my lower body. That, however, means I've got a small chest.
Not only that, but my voice is relative high-pitched.
(If this helps, I turn 17 on the 19th oct.)
I'd say that on a general basis I'm somewhat immature, humour wise, but when needed I can defo mature or have deep conversations with people, I actually really enjoy debating or talking about serious topics such as feminism, etc.
However whenever a guy has been attracted to me something always felt off.
It's always a guy with some ****ed up fetishes, daddy kinks, wanting to borderline beat me up and what not.
I'm not one to kink shame, idc as long as it's consensual and not illegal, but it still bothers me that guys who's type I am always feel a certain way towards me.
They're all very controlling and usually older than me (NOT BY A LOT!! although I've had my fair share of creeps. Older I'd go is 18 and that's only because I turn 17 in a week.)
I've had my body compared to a 12 year old boy before, due to my chest, and whenever these guys compliment me they always use the words "small" or "carryable" or "easy to take advantage of"
Like.. geez, thanks!
Not only that but I am NEVER taken seriously in relationships. They expect me to sit quietly by their side and do what I'm told.
I've had an old friend of mine (someone I've known for years bc he helps me with schoolwork, he is much older than me) admit that he's waiting for my 18th birthday. Wow.
Will I ever find a guy who actually sees me for me and not a little girl?

i can kinda relate. i'm a guy (gay) but i always attract controlling/violent guys, too. i guess it's the combination of 'cute' looks/somewhat docile personality. your only hope is to go for less dominant guys, but some of them can be a bit shy at first if you are good looking. they can also be less fun, so...

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 2

Rakas21

There’s probably a little selection bias here. It would be odd for you to make this statement confidently unless an aspect of these men is what your also attracted to.

And yes, despite the media perception a lot of men still want a traditional or very dominant dynamic, if you look petite but in an attractive way then your going to have men persue you that desire that dynamic in disproportionate numbers.

I wouldn’t concern yourself much, young men in general are pretty desperate regardless of personality type and you just need to filter better.