DYSLEXIC FRIEND WON'T STOP ASKING ME STUFF. Am i in the wrong?
Hello,
My friend who suspects she is dyslexic keeps making me summarise things for her, and it's really exhausting. Any important information has to be summarised into points and explained thoroughly. I wouldn't MIND this if she TRIED to involve herself, but she does not.
For example, a couple of days ago we were told to decide whether or not to stay in the house we are currently renting for one more year, or if we should end the tenancy. She didn't bother reading the group chat, as usual, and instead opted to turn to me and go 'whats happening?'. This happens with our university assignments, our lectures, our seminars. EVERYTHING she does.
I have asked her to get assessed for dyslexia and she states that 'oh I'm too lazy for an appointment'. I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do here. How do I tell her that I don't want to be her PARENT anymore? I am autistic and keeping up with LIFE is difficult for me, let alone when I'm forced to pick up her slack too. I apologise for being harsh here, but it's solely because as time goes on, she gets more comfortable and keeps relying on me for things. The longer time goes on, the less she talks about actually getting help, too. I see things in black and white, and I feel that if she's relying on people so much then a diagnosis is in order. The university does screenings for free.
What do I do here? I'm so tired of it. She's such a nice girl but it's really grating at this point. Am I in the wrong?
TLDR: dyslexic friend asks me to summarise every aspect of our lives now (lectures, seminar, where things are, emails, texts) and it's exhausting and tiring. How do I tell her I don't want to be her assistant anymore?
My friend who suspects she is dyslexic keeps making me summarise things for her, and it's really exhausting. Any important information has to be summarised into points and explained thoroughly. I wouldn't MIND this if she TRIED to involve herself, but she does not.
For example, a couple of days ago we were told to decide whether or not to stay in the house we are currently renting for one more year, or if we should end the tenancy. She didn't bother reading the group chat, as usual, and instead opted to turn to me and go 'whats happening?'. This happens with our university assignments, our lectures, our seminars. EVERYTHING she does.
I have asked her to get assessed for dyslexia and she states that 'oh I'm too lazy for an appointment'. I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do here. How do I tell her that I don't want to be her PARENT anymore? I am autistic and keeping up with LIFE is difficult for me, let alone when I'm forced to pick up her slack too. I apologise for being harsh here, but it's solely because as time goes on, she gets more comfortable and keeps relying on me for things. The longer time goes on, the less she talks about actually getting help, too. I see things in black and white, and I feel that if she's relying on people so much then a diagnosis is in order. The university does screenings for free.
What do I do here? I'm so tired of it. She's such a nice girl but it's really grating at this point. Am I in the wrong?
TLDR: dyslexic friend asks me to summarise every aspect of our lives now (lectures, seminar, where things are, emails, texts) and it's exhausting and tiring. How do I tell her I don't want to be her assistant anymore?
Reply 1
Maybe write her a summary of what she’s doing that is difficult for you and how it makes you feel- hopefully she is sympathetic and understands.
Reply 2
Original post
by etherseaHello,
My friend who suspects she is dyslexic keeps making me summarise things for her, and it's really exhausting. Any important information has to be summarised into points and explained thoroughly. I wouldn't MIND this if she TRIED to involve herself, but she does not.
For example, a couple of days ago we were told to decide whether or not to stay in the house we are currently renting for one more year, or if we should end the tenancy. She didn't bother reading the group chat, as usual, and instead opted to turn to me and go 'whats happening?'. This happens with our university assignments, our lectures, our seminars. EVERYTHING she does.
I have asked her to get assessed for dyslexia and she states that 'oh I'm too lazy for an appointment'. I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do here. How do I tell her that I don't want to be her PARENT anymore? I am autistic and keeping up with LIFE is difficult for me, let alone when I'm forced to pick up her slack too. I apologise for being harsh here, but it's solely because as time goes on, she gets more comfortable and keeps relying on me for things. The longer time goes on, the less she talks about actually getting help, too. I see things in black and white, and I feel that if she's relying on people so much then a diagnosis is in order. The university does screenings for free.
What do I do here? I'm so tired of it. She's such a nice girl but it's really grating at this point. Am I in the wrong?
TLDR: dyslexic friend asks me to summarise every aspect of our lives now (lectures, seminar, where things are, emails, texts) and it's exhausting and tiring. How do I tell her I don't want to be her assistant anymore?
My friend who suspects she is dyslexic keeps making me summarise things for her, and it's really exhausting. Any important information has to be summarised into points and explained thoroughly. I wouldn't MIND this if she TRIED to involve herself, but she does not.
For example, a couple of days ago we were told to decide whether or not to stay in the house we are currently renting for one more year, or if we should end the tenancy. She didn't bother reading the group chat, as usual, and instead opted to turn to me and go 'whats happening?'. This happens with our university assignments, our lectures, our seminars. EVERYTHING she does.
I have asked her to get assessed for dyslexia and she states that 'oh I'm too lazy for an appointment'. I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do here. How do I tell her that I don't want to be her PARENT anymore? I am autistic and keeping up with LIFE is difficult for me, let alone when I'm forced to pick up her slack too. I apologise for being harsh here, but it's solely because as time goes on, she gets more comfortable and keeps relying on me for things. The longer time goes on, the less she talks about actually getting help, too. I see things in black and white, and I feel that if she's relying on people so much then a diagnosis is in order. The university does screenings for free.
What do I do here? I'm so tired of it. She's such a nice girl but it's really grating at this point. Am I in the wrong?
TLDR: dyslexic friend asks me to summarise every aspect of our lives now (lectures, seminar, where things are, emails, texts) and it's exhausting and tiring. How do I tell her I don't want to be her assistant anymore?
Advise her on how to use AI to summarise text and say to her that you want to be her friend, not her parent.
Use of the word 'parent' is probably enough to make her rethink her reediness, but make it clear you want to be a friend in the same sentence, so it doesn't sound too harsh!
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