The Student Room Group

Cambridge Uni - Strugging Daughter

My daughter has just started her 2nd year and is struggling again - she scraped through the first year with a 3rd, and now feels again like an imposter as she's struggling to keep up, take on the material and is regularly needing a gee-up from us (several times a week at the moment).

Her Director of Studies reassured her that she's 'worthy', and has the ability, but is he maybe just trying to keep the fees coming in, and to keep her on, or is it real belief?...

We can't maintain the positivity as we're running out of things to say - she's clearly bright but a procrastinator and then berates herself for not doing the work, then struggling - it's pretty hard to watch - does she need tough love or a new Uni??
(edited 4 months ago)
Original post by Curious_dad
My daughter has just started her 2nd year and is struggling again - she scraped through the first year with a 3rd, and now feels again like an imposter as she's struggling to keep up, take on the material and is regularly needing a gee-up from us (several times a week at the moment).
Her Director of Studies reassured her that she's 'worthy', and has the ability, but is he maybe just trying to keep the fees coming in, and to keep her on, or is it real belief?...
We can't maintain the positivity as we're running out of things to say - she's clearly bright but a procrastinator and then berates herself for not doing the work, then struggling - it's pretty hard to watch - does she need tough love or a new Uni??

It may just be an unfamiliarity with the intensity of study and she may need to reevaluate how she's learning that was an issue with me. If the college offers it, I'd recommend she speaks with a pastoral team member. There may be options for her. If it is related to a disability or learning difficulty etc. then the Disability Resource Centre (DRC) has some great resources and assistance available, including personal mentors that she may find of benefit. There may be something similar even without but I get mine through the DRC.

I would find it extremely unlikely that the Director of Studies would even consider the fees in relation to their encouragement of her staying.
Original post by Curious_dad
My daughter has just started her 2nd year and is struggling again - she scraped through the first year with a 3rd, and now feels again like an imposter as she's struggling to keep up, take on the material and is regularly needing a gee-up from us (several times a week at the moment).
Her Director of Studies reassured her that she's 'worthy', and has the ability, but is he maybe just trying to keep the fees coming in, and to keep her on, or is it real belief?...
We can't maintain the positivity as we're running out of things to say - she's clearly bright but a procrastinator and then berates herself for not doing the work, then struggling - it's pretty hard to watch - does she need tough love or a new Uni??

If she's a procrastinator at Cambridge, surely she would be a procrastinator at any other university? Or in a job?
Original post by Curious_dad
My daughter has just started her 2nd year and is struggling again - she scraped through the first year with a 3rd, and now feels again like an imposter as she's struggling to keep up, take on the material and is regularly needing a gee-up from us (several times a week at the moment).
Her Director of Studies reassured her that she's 'worthy', and has the ability, but is he maybe just trying to keep the fees coming in, and to keep her on, or is it real belief?...
We can't maintain the positivity as we're running out of things to say - she's clearly bright but a procrastinator and then berates herself for not doing the work, then struggling - it's pretty hard to watch - does she need tough love or a new Uni??

The DoS has absolutely no interest in fees etc. They will have no clue as to the financial implications of students in College, that's Bursar's business! If the DoS says she is worthy, she is worthy.

You need to help her get ahead of the procrastination. Is is because she is rowing at ungodly hours, or partying until ungodly hours? Or is it an executive function issue where she just can't organise her time and focus?

The University Counselling Service is very good with issues of procrastination, work planning etc - they have take-away leaflets as a first step, you don't have to be 'depressed' or book a session to get them. But having said that, they may have group or individual sessions

Also, does the College have a Welfare Officer - again, this person is more than 'I'm depressed', they should be able to help directly or signpost more to resources and solutions.

Have you scoured this on her behalf and made sure she's exhausted all options?

https://www.studentsupport.cam.ac.uk

TBH Cambridge isn't really massively more intense than any other uni with similar entry grades, so going to UCL or Imperial etc may be similar, and all with one less layer of support. If her DoS still has confidence in her, then she should have, and you should have on her behalf.

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