Lonely and isolated at uni

Hi I'm really lonely at the minute at uni I'm going to bimm manchester and everyone seems like they have it figured out except for me my mental health is going really bad to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns all the time and it just feels
like I have no one to talk to and my only other option is to get a job back home and pay for transport that way because the homesickness is not easy but my loan only covers my accommodation so if I didn't get a job I would be absolutely screwed because I also can't find anyone to take over my tenancy I just don't know what to do

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by Aleastraw20

Hi I'm really lonely at the minute at uni I'm going to bimm manchester and everyone seems like they have it figured out except for me my mental health is going really bad to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns all the time and it just feels
like I have no one to talk to and my only other option is to get a job back home and pay for transport that way because the homesickness is not easy but my loan only covers my accommodation so if I didn't get a job I would be absolutely screwed because I also can't find anyone to take over my tenancy I just don't know what to do

I promise you a lot of you feel the same way but some are better at putting a brave face on. I remember leaving home for the first time will legit have panic attacks because of isolation and sheer distance from my loved ones. Talking to friends, reaching out to family, brief calls to both are very helpful even for just a few minutes a day. Hang in there. Join groups if you have other interests and hobbies.

Original post by Aleastraw20

Hi I'm really lonely at the minute at uni I'm going to bimm manchester and everyone seems like they have it figured out except for me my mental health is going really bad to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns all the time and it just feels
like I have no one to talk to and my only other option is to get a job back home and pay for transport that way because the homesickness is not easy but my loan only covers my accommodation so if I didn't get a job I would be absolutely screwed because I also can't find anyone to take over my tenancy I just don't know what to do

Hi there @Aleastraw20 , I am so sorry to hear about your struggles adjusting to uni life. I also struggled finding people to talk to in my first year but eventually managed to find a few good friends by joining a club/society and met new people from different courses through my part time job and summer internship! Have you considered talking to anyone on the Wellbeing and Support team? It may be a good start just to get all these feelings out and work things out. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best on your uni journey 🤗

Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)

Reply 3

ARUSophie

5

Original post by Aleastraw20

Hi I'm really lonely at the minute at uni I'm going to bimm manchester and everyone seems like they have it figured out except for me my mental health is going really bad to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns all the time and it just feels
like I have no one to talk to and my only other option is to get a job back home and pay for transport that way because the homesickness is not easy but my loan only covers my accommodation so if I didn't get a job I would be absolutely screwed because I also can't find anyone to take over my tenancy I just don't know what to do

Hiya,

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. Uni can be very overwhelming and isolating at times! please don’t suffer in silence, it’s really important you speak to people about how you’re feeling. Have you spoke to your family about it? I’d suggest speaking to them about how you’re feeling and maybe they can help you come up with a solution. I’d also suggest planning some weekends spent at home with friends and family to help the feeling of loneliness.

I’d also suggest reaching out to your unis wellbeing team. Unis offer great support for all kinds of issues and if you’re suffering with your mental health, I’d really suggest you do this. If you don’t want to reach out to the uni, then perhaps you can reach out to your gp (or both).

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone has their own journey at uni and not everyone makes friends straight away. It takes time to build meaningful connections and some struggle more than others. Have you looked into any societies you might be interested in? Joining societies is a great way to meet likeminded people!

I hope this helps, like I said please don’t suffer in silent. Speak to friends and family and get the support you need! Good luck going forward. I hope you find your people at uni and get to experience it fully!

Sophie (ARU) 🙂

Original post by Aleastraw20

Hi I'm really lonely at the minute at uni I'm going to bimm manchester and everyone seems like they have it figured out except for me my mental health is going really bad to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns all the time and it just feels
like I have no one to talk to and my only other option is to get a job back home and pay for transport that way because the homesickness is not easy but my loan only covers my accommodation so if I didn't get a job I would be absolutely screwed because I also can't find anyone to take over my tenancy I just don't know what to do

Hi

Please don't feel like you are alone in this situation.

There will be lots of people in a similar situation, but may not display that they are struggling from the outside. I would speak to your program leader or support team in the University as they are here to support you.

They are also maybe able to support you in terms of finances, as the university will have hardship funds in place to support students who are in a difficult position financially.

I hope this helps,

Matt
Wrexham Uni Reps

Reply 5

sirwinde

2

Original post by Aleastraw20

Hi I'm really lonely at the minute at uni I'm going to bimm manchester and everyone seems like they have it figured out except for me my mental health is going really bad to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns all the time and it just feels
like I have no one to talk to and my only other option is to get a job back home and pay for transport that way because the homesickness is not easy but my loan only covers my accommodation so if I didn't get a job I would be absolutely screwed because I also can't find anyone to take over my tenancy I just don't know what to do

Hi @Atleastraw20 moving away from home is difficult and being thrust into being on your own. If you can, get out to some of the events and groups that your Uni has to meet people. Many are going through the same thing, trying to find friends and not be lonely.
Reach out to your uni welfare team as they can help.

Our son went off to Durham (couple of years ago) a good 5 hours away from home. He was really home sick for first couple of months (got better each week). We told him to stay and not come home until term end. It worked as he was forced to find friends. 3 of those friends are really close to him now. Some of the others are friends, and others not.

All of that to say hold on in there, does get better, see if you can involve yourself in things happening at Uni as you will not be the only one going through that. Make sure you do reach out to the Uni welfare team though.

Original post by Aleastraw20

Hi I'm really lonely at the minute at uni I'm going to bimm manchester and everyone seems like they have it figured out except for me my mental health is going really bad to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns all the time and it just feels
like I have no one to talk to and my only other option is to get a job back home and pay for transport that way because the homesickness is not easy but my loan only covers my accommodation so if I didn't get a job I would be absolutely screwed because I also can't find anyone to take over my tenancy I just don't know what to do

Hi there @Aleastraw20 ,

I'm really sorry to hear how you have been feeling at Uni, it can be really hard when you feel like this and I understand how you are feeling.

Firstly, I would recommend talking to the wellbeing services at your university as they will be there for you and you will be able to talk to them about how you are feeling. They will see so many people who are in the same or similar situations to you so they will be able to give you the best advice and support. Sometimes talking about things like this can really help you and you might as well make use of the services provided as they can be very helpful. I know quite a few people who have spoken to student wellbeing and they have always been really helpful for me whenever I have needed anything so I would always recommend this.

If you have been struggling with your course at all, I would recommend talking to your personal tutor or academic advisor as they will be there to help you with this. You can tell them which parts you have been struggling with and if they can, they can help you to come up with a plan to help you overcome any worries or struggles. Your tutors can often help you with this too so make sure you are reaching out if you feel like you need any help at all.

If you are really struggling with your mental health, it might be worth going home for a week or so and see if this help you at all just having time around family and friends. If you talk to your tutors about this, they might be able to work something out where they could send you the work so that you can do this at home and this might help you. Or, just talking to and FaceTiming friends and family can sometimes help with homesickness too.

In terms of getting a job, I would have a look at campus jobs and see if your uni has any of these available. They are often quite flexible and you can work as and when you can so there is no pressure to say yes to working if you don't feel up to it. However, this differs at every uni and yours may not work like this but it is worth having a look as they can often be quite good.

With loneliness and making friends, I know others have said this and I am sure you have heard it lots of times before, but joining societies are great ways of meeting lots of new people and making new friends. There are usually lots at every uni so have a look if there are any you like at your uni and consider joining one of them. Most of the people who join societies are there to be social and meet new people so it is likely you will start to talk to some new people and make some new friends.

Another way of making friends is to have a look if your student union puts any events on. Often, the SU at your uni will put different events on which are also great ways of making friends. At Hallam, the SU puts on 'give it a go' events where they do things such as going to ice hockey matches, going for a coffee, going to alton towers etc! So it is worth looking at this as I think a lot of universities do this too.

You could also look on social media as you might also meet some people this way. Often on Facebook or other social media, there will be groups for your uni so have a look here as this is a good way of making friends. This can also be less daunting taking to people online rather than face to face so it might be a nice starting point with making friends and you can meet some people this way.

I hope some of this helps and this gets better for you soon,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Lonely and isolated at uni

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