What should I do? So lost and unmotivated, etc. in Sixth Form?

Original post by banishulysses

Can I have some advice?
I’m in Year 13 studying A-Levels in English Lang/Lit, Law, Psychology. I stayed at my secondary school because I got too scared to go to the sixth form college I had my heart set on all throughout Year 11. I got worried I wouldn’t be able to make friends and wanted to stay with my friends already made in secondary school. That was useless because I ended up falling out with my best friend and haven’t spoken to him since. Not easy when he’s in two of your three lessons haha. I’ve got friends there and stuff still but I’m incredibly unhappy there. Everyday is a drag and everyday grinds me down more and more. I’m so depressed and anxious because of it. I’ve got no motivation to revise which is a complete change in personality for someone that used to teach themselves languages for the fun of it. I don’t really enjoy my subjects either but I’m tolerating them. I’m a completely different person to what I was a few years ago (negatively) and I blame that school and sixth form for it. I always hated that school and always planned to leave after Year 11 yet here I am. I got D, E, U on my end of Year 12 tests but apparently my English teacher predicts me a B but says I’m definitely an A student. What doesn’t help is that someone I knew from sixth form left at the end of Year 12 to go to the exact same college I wanted to go and he says it was the best decision he ever made. It was just the prospect of being with the year below and then having to stay a year later than everybody else in my year now that put me off. At this point, I’ve been so ground down and affected so badly by the place that I’m so close to just leaving. I don’t really know what to do after. I’d like to do A-Levels and if I had the chance I’d completely change the subjects. Other than that, I don’t know. I feel so lost and demotivated. This isn’t me yet I can’t stop it.
Please, any words of wisdom or advice I would greatly appreciate. Literally anything. I think I know what I want but I’m too late and I can’t get it.

I am so sorry you're going through that. What I think you should do is put yourself first. Who cares what other people think? This is for you and only you. You may have to retake year 12 but that's okay! As for your best friend, have you guys not communicated maturely about the falling out situation?

Reply 2

CAL999

9

Original post by banishulysses

Can I have some advice?
I’m in Year 13 studying A-Levels in English Lang/Lit, Law, Psychology. I stayed at my secondary school because I got too scared to go to the sixth form college I had my heart set on all throughout Year 11. I got worried I wouldn’t be able to make friends and wanted to stay with my friends already made in secondary school. That was useless because I ended up falling out with my best friend and haven’t spoken to him since. Not easy when he’s in two of your three lessons haha. I’ve got friends there and stuff still but I’m incredibly unhappy there. Everyday is a drag and everyday grinds me down more and more. I’m so depressed and anxious because of it. I’ve got no motivation to revise which is a complete change in personality for someone that used to teach themselves languages for the fun of it. I don’t really enjoy my subjects either but I’m tolerating them. I’m a completely different person to what I was a few years ago (negatively) and I blame that school and sixth form for it. I always hated that school and always planned to leave after Year 11 yet here I am. I got D, E, U on my end of Year 12 tests but apparently my English teacher predicts me a B but says I’m definitely an A student. What doesn’t help is that someone I knew from sixth form left at the end of Year 12 to go to the exact same college I wanted to go and he says it was the best decision he ever made. It was just the prospect of being with the year below and then having to stay a year later than everybody else in my year now that put me off. At this point, I’ve been so ground down and affected so badly by the place that I’m so close to just leaving. I don’t really know what to do after. I’d like to do A-Levels and if I had the chance I’d completely change the subjects. Other than that, I don’t know. I feel so lost and demotivated. This isn’t me yet I can’t stop it.
Please, any words of wisdom or advice I would greatly appreciate. Literally anything. I think I know what I want but I’m too late and I can’t get it.

bro, u better reply to me or else I'll feel sad af ☹️

Reply 3

OP

Original post by ilovejeongin143

I am so sorry you're going through that. What I think you should do is put yourself first. Who cares what other people think? This is for you and only you. You may have to retake year 12 but that's okay! As for your best friend, have you guys not communicated maturely about the falling out situation?

Nope. It's so awkward sometimes.

Reply 4

OP

Original post by CAL999

Hi,
I am in yr. 13 too and I am really sorry that you're going through something like that. I hope everything is alright and that things get better for you in the future.
My experience ( highly, encourage u to read it) :
This is a bit personal but I struggles with sixth form too because even though I got good gcse results, they werent the standards that I wanted it to be. So I had to go to a mid-level sixth form ( which broke my heart). But I should've expected that since I didnt revise ( I think you could see that from the questioned I asked here lol).
Anyways, life was draining af because my dream uni was Cambridge but I didnt put effort into my gcse etc. which broke my heart again because ik I can't even try applying there as I was embarrassed af to ask my teachers to put me in the Cambridge & oxford application group. So all of that + my subjects ( bio, chem and psych ), wanting to do medicine, revision, uni, friends , social life, teachers, the sixth form, f-ing taking 3 different busses just to get to school drained tf out of me. just EVERYTHING made me depressed, anxious af but I had to put on a smiley face at home, school and to my friends because I am a ppl pleaser etc. Oh, yh,me and one of my friends ( who I've been friends with since yr7 to yr 13) dont even talk to each other outside of skl or even hang out in skl...we just talk in 1 of my subjects lol...but yh, we had a fall out. Anyways, with all that depressing ****, I failed my first set of tests ( I got U's in all subjects :_ ). I have a good reason tho: yes, I didnt revise AT ALL. Idk why but I cant revise since I feel f-ing sad, ashamed, and disappointed af when I try to revise so I just delay it until the day before my tests. SO my sixth form dropped me from those subjects and told me to change my whole career ( mind you, medicine was my whole life). And the worse thing is that, I used to contemplate abt life when I am going to school ( since I took 3 busses to school...abt 2 hrs to and from school ☹️ ) . + As soon as I entered school, I was thinking abt when the school say would end.
Yes, I did have friends ( 4) but I felt so lonely and had to keep laughing, acting normal and smiling even though I felt **** inside.
Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I am so much happier since I do things that I actually enjoy ( e.g law, sociology and psych + I am applying for law this year) and have A*, A, B( begging my teacher to give me an A for psych coz I was 3 marks away from an A). But I am still worried to tell my parents that I want to do law in uni or the fact that I want to take a gap year because law is looked down upon in my family ( classical asian family). But, pray for me that I can do it.
Advice:
Pheww, anyways, this is the advice I would give to you ( you can follow it , if you want lol):

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I wouldnt give a F abt that friends because : 1) You arent going to see them again 2) you have other ppl to talk to 3) they arent going to pay ur bills or ur self-esteem ( ik, this is going to be hard, but u got this!! 🙂 )

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I would either move schools ( defo recommend ) or re-take the year ( trust me, around 10 ppl re-took the year in my year group) . This is going to be so much better for you as you clearly arent ready to take your alevels ( not that its bad, actually I lied, it is bad because I dont want u to fail it 🙂 )

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Change ur subjects- to me, it looks like u clearly dont enjoy ur subjects so u DEFO need to change ur subjects after re-taking the year

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abt revision part- once u retake the year ( by going to year 12, or doing yr 13 again, or by going to another different school) revise EVERYDAY....but heres the thing, revision isnt that hard, all u need to do is : watch video on the subject b4 the lesson i.e the night b4, make mind map ( not details), detailed notes, then in lessons, go through those notes and add something the teach said that u dont have, ask questions when u dont understand. Make flash cards on the lessons & learning, and do space repetition and active recall ( exam questions, blurting) and so every day 2 -3 hrs in total should be good for 3 subjects. And that means u can do things u like for the rest of the day ( for ur mental health 🙂 )

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You CANT NOT DO ALEVEL THIS YEAR UNLESS U SERIOUSLY IMPROVE UR GRADES- because: 1) whats the point of doing alevels and failing it, ur uni will know if u re-take ur alevels and thats a bad look ( seriously) and dont trust ur teachers on the predicted grades coz they made it too high ( bro, my teachers put what I got in my exams as my predicted grades....they didnt even make it higher coz they said they want to be realistic ). SO please dont take ur exams in 2025 unless u dramatically improve ur grades ( because I care abt u and I dont want u to regret ur alevel grades and the subjects u are doing)

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Uni, re-checking ur exams and resits are expensive af so pls dont do ur exams and go to unis u regret because u got bad grades...pls,I dont want u to be more sad ☹️

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And abt ur mental health, trust me, I've been there. But pls, the only way for u to get better is by doing the things I said. Pls, talk to someone ( I am here, if u need me to....but I may be late to ur replies coz I am having mental breakdown over my personal statement). Pls talk to ur parents and try to get a therapist because anxiety and depression isnt something u can just heal without professional help. You might be able to but its better. Trust me, I am NOT close with my parents, they dont care abt my mental health but yh...I also dont get therapy BUT I am in a better state now ( ngl, I am a bit to bubbly for my liking ). And ik theres a stigma around therapy ( and especially nhs ones) But its better than nothing. Okay, just think abt it like this : say you got a wound, you would go to the doctors and get medicine, band aids and put it on, right? and wait for it to heal...but who heals it...ur body and time, right?
Therapy is the same, therapist help you heal...but they are like medicine and Band-Aids, they cant force the healing process. You, your body and time heals those feelings. ( ik, it might be cringe to u and ik I am talking like a fart, old lady...but I am f-ing in yr 13 too 🙂 trust me, I would rather be at a diddy party right lol) .
Moral of the story: get therapy if u can, u dont need to pay thanks to nhs, talk to someone ( family , friends, if u cant then talk to someone online ( but dont get groomed, pls ☹️ ). talk to me, if u want lol)

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Oh, yh, pls take care of urself, eat good food, get some rest, do things u like AND revise ( especially if u arent going to re-take the year or arent moving school). Dont stress it out, do the things I told u abt for revision...oh, yh, past papers...just do them. Defo recommend u to change ur subjects ☹️

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Anyways, sorry for the rant ( if u did manage to read all of that thanks and good luck in life. Ik I am a complete stranger but I trust u, ur decision, I believe in u and look forwards to all the things u will do in the future and the good u r going to bring into this world.
Pls, take care of urself, ur health ( mental and physical) and enjoy life.

P.S- Ik, I talked abt my personal experience ( I dont want to be seen as a conversional narcists)I just thought it might help to give my experience- to let yk that u arent the only one who felt like this and that u can do this!
+you better appreciate me taking time of my personal statement to write this for u (:_-0))...jk, I am happy if my post did help u in the slighted...anyways, gtg back to my personal statement coz its due in 3 days and I didnt even f-ing start.
Anyways, love u and hope for the best in u and ur future. - mei

Thanks so much for your reply. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Nah you don't sound like a narcissist at all haha. The bit where you said you had friends but still felt **** resonates with me on so many levels. But how am I able to change school and subjects if I'm already in Year 13? I'm also not interested in going to uni after this bad experience tbh - I just wanna get a degree apprenticeship now and keep full time formal educational at a VERY long arms length. (Good luck with your PS btw, if you want someone to proof read it I can if you want. I've always been pretty good at editing stuff like that)

Reply 5

Original post by banishulysses

Nope. It's so awkward sometimes.

Okay then. What exactly did you guys fall out on if you don't mind telling me?

Reply 6

CAL999

9

Original post by banishulysses

Thanks so much for your reply. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Nah you don't sound like a narcissist at all haha. The bit where you said you had friends but still felt **** resonates with me on so many levels. But how am I able to change school and subjects if I'm already in Year 13? I'm also not interested in going to uni after this bad experience tbh - I just wanna get a degree apprenticeship now and keep full time formal educational at a VERY long arms length. (Good luck with your PS btw, if you want someone to proof read it I can if you want. I've always been pretty good at editing stuff like that)

No worries,
If you want to change your subjects/ year, you can talk to your head teachers/ sixth form team about you wanting to change subjects and re-taking yr 12 or 13.
If you want to change your school and start new, you have to speak to your parents about that, after getting their permission you can start looking for new 6th forms.
Email, call 6th forms that might let you go there ( its better to call tho but just email their admissions teams - you can find their emails online i.e google).
If you want to do apprenticeships, thats fine, but know that you need good grades for that too. So good luck.
Oh, abt my ps....I didnt start yet :_)...ik, I have a bad issue with procrastination but yh. I'll ask my law teacher to review it so don't worry.
If you need anything, just let me know lol.
GOOD LUCK !

Reply 7

OP

Original post by CAL999

No worries,
If you want to change your subjects/ year, you can talk to your head teachers/ sixth form team about you wanting to change subjects and re-taking yr 12 or 13.
If you want to change your school and start new, you have to speak to your parents about that, after getting their permission you can start looking for new 6th forms.
Email, call 6th forms that might let you go there ( its better to call tho but just email their admissions teams - you can find their emails online i.e google).
If you want to do apprenticeships, thats fine, but know that you need good grades for that too. So good luck.
Oh, abt my ps....I didnt start yet :_)...ik, I have a bad issue with procrastination but yh. I'll ask my law teacher to review it so don't worry.
If you need anything, just let me know lol.
GOOD LUCK !

I thought because funding goes up to when you're 19 I won't be allowed to start again though? I'm 17 now. I thought that now's too late to move anyway, no?

Reply 8

OP

Original post by ilovejeongin143

Okay then. What exactly did you guys fall out on if you don't mind telling me?

All I really remember is that he completely changed as a person and he weren't a nice person to be around. Me and my family were struggling at the time and all he would do is brag about money and stuff which wasn't easy. He was just narcissistic and became insufferable to be around so we just ended up completely ghosting each other. We exchanged some heated words, he walked off and I haven't spoken to him since.

Reply 9

Original post by banishulysses

All I really remember is that he completely changed as a person and he weren't a nice person to be around. Me and my family were struggling at the time and all he would do is brag about money and stuff which wasn't easy. He was just narcissistic and became insufferable to be around so we just ended up completely ghosting each other. We exchanged some heated words, he walked off and I haven't spoken to him since.

Oh my gosh, that's horrible. I am so sorry you went through that. I personally think you should go to college because that's what you have your heart set on. Don't waste 7 months doing subjects that you hate when you could be somewhere doing subjects that you actually enjoy.

Reply 10

Original post by banishulysses

I thought because funding goes up to when you're 19 I won't be allowed to start again though? I'm 17 now. I thought that now's too late to move anyway, no?

Not necessarily, I'm sure there's a few people who went to sixth form but then moved to college afterwards. It won't be too late if you go to college now since you're 17.

Reply 11

OP

Original post by ilovejeongin143

Not necessarily, I'm sure there's a few people who went to sixth form but then moved to college afterwards. It won't be too late if you go to college now since you're 17.

I should have probably clarified. I mean sixth form college. But I think they’re only taking applications for next year now meaning I can’t apply. Suppose I’m just stuck doing this for 7 months.

Reply 12