Struggling with loss

I've recently lost my dad to cancer. I'm 14 and things are starting to seem extremely daunting to me. With possibly the most important tests of my life to study for (GCSE) I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to cope because I'm already feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of it all. I always trusted my Dad and when lost or upset he would always be my first and only point of call. I've never been able to open up to my Mum because of past trauma and I feel extremely alone. People around me are always trying to comfort me but I still feel incredibly isolated and depressed. Anyone have any idea what I can do to lighten my load a bit? Because at the moment I feel like life is a game of survival.

Reply 1

ViviPanda

15

Original post

by Anonymous

I've recently lost my dad to cancer. I'm 14 and things are starting to seem extremely daunting to me. With possibly the most important tests of my life to study for (GCSE) I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to cope because I'm already feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of it all. I always trusted my Dad and when lost or upset he would always be my first and only point of call. I've never been able to open up to my Mum because of past trauma and I feel extremely alone. People around me are always trying to comfort me but I still feel incredibly isolated and depressed. Anyone have any idea what I can do to lighten my load a bit? Because at the moment I feel like life is a game of survival.

Heyy I'm sorry ur feeling that way. My dad passed away in 2020 (I was 12 turning 13 is exactly a month) just when I was gonna sit for gcse. It was really really hard to study cuz i would always ask my dad for help when I needed it. The feeling of being lost sucks. I never got over dad's death for an entire year, delaying me from doing my gcse one entire year (I ended up doing it at the end of 2021)

My mom was also taking it badly so I didn't have anyone to talk to. I was homeschooled so I didn't have any friends either. One of the things that helped me was to write. Now I know that not everyone keeps a journal, but as someone who has been journalling every day for the past 6 years I found it really helpful to write down all my feelings onto paper, and sometimes i wrote letters to my dad.

I also dedicated everything i did to my dad, every test I scored well, every little thing I did I thought of my dad standing next to me and talking to me.

Now many years later as a 17 yr old, I still cry (often) and still think of what life would have been like if my dad was here, but I can tell u for sure that the pain will wear off a bit over time. U will always hurt inside, but after coming to terms with death, you will start to accept reality.

Well, I hope this helps! do pm me if u wanna talk some more, whether it be about this or other random stuff hehe :jumphug:

Reply 2

PAPYRUS HOPELINE

Official Rep

10

Original post

by Anonymous

I've recently lost my dad to cancer. I'm 14 and things are starting to seem extremely daunting to me. With possibly the most important tests of my life to study for (GCSE) I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to cope because I'm already feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of it all. I always trusted my Dad and when lost or upset he would always be my first and only point of call. I've never been able to open up to my Mum because of past trauma and I feel extremely alone. People around me are always trying to comfort me but I still feel incredibly isolated and depressed. Anyone have any idea what I can do to lighten my load a bit? Because at the moment I feel like life is a game of survival.

Hi There, What an incredibly honest and brave post. We are sorry you feel that past trauma stops you reaching out to mum. There are many support services out there, but Childbereavementuk is specifically for young people who are experiencing grief. Please reach out to them for support, and if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts please contact us ' Hopeline 247- call ,text, email, or webchat on 0800 068 4141, 88247, [email protected] or papyrus-uk.org.

Reply 3

Yuvaa

8

I’m really sorry you're going through this. Losing a parent at your age is incredibly tough, and I get how overwhelming it can be. I went through something similar when I lost my dad, and it felt like everything was just too much, especially with school on top of it. What helped me was taking things one day at a time and breaking everything down into smaller pieces. Even though it was hard, reaching out to a friend or a school counselor made a difference, just having someone to talk to. I still felt isolated at times, but slowly, I realized I didn’t have to handle it all on my own. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay to take a break when you need it.

Reply 4

UoL Students

Official Rep

16

Original post

by Anonymous

I've recently lost my dad to cancer. I'm 14 and things are starting to seem extremely daunting to me. With possibly the most important tests of my life to study for (GCSE) I'm starting to worry about how I'm going to cope because I'm already feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of it all. I always trusted my Dad and when lost or upset he would always be my first and only point of call. I've never been able to open up to my Mum because of past trauma and I feel extremely alone. People around me are always trying to comfort me but I still feel incredibly isolated and depressed. Anyone have any idea what I can do to lighten my load a bit? Because at the moment I feel like life is a game of survival.

Hello,

I am sorry to hear you have been having such a difficult time. I am also very sorry to hear about your loss. Have you considered therapy? This could really help you to understand the difficulties you are currently facing and help you to continue walking forward.

Additionally, the TellMi app is very good. It allows you to post anonymously about your problems and others of a similar age can respond and share their advice, support and own experiences. All the posts and responses are moderated and the platform has also started offering free therapy.

I hope this helps, if you have any further questions or anything please do let me know.

Charlie
Law LLB Student

Struggling with loss

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