GCSE English Lang paper 1 question 2

Is anybody (not necessarily a teacher) able to please give this a mark? :smile:

I'm really interested to know what mark /8 I would recieve for this, as it is the start of my December mock revision.
The exam board is AQA.

Look in detail at this extract from lines 1 to 5 of the text:

"The wind howled through the trees as the storm grew nearer. Sarah gripped her coat tighter around her, glancing nervously at the darkened sky. She could hear the distant rumble of thunder and knew she had little time before the rain would begin to pour. The path ahead was long and winding, disappearing into the shadows of the forest. Somewhere in the distance, a branch snapped, causing her heart to race."

How does the writer use language here to describe the approaching storm and Sarah's feelings?

You could include the writer’s choice of:

Words and phrases

Language features and techniques

Sentence forms

(8)

The writer presents the approaching storm as ferocious and dangerous. When ‘the wind howled through the trees’ The personification of the wind magnifies the power of the storm. The readers who are aware of the detrimental effects of human power, feel nervous when the wind is presented to be equated to this ‘darkened’. The verb ‘howled’ is almost onomatopoeic and creates a painful aural world for the reader. It feels slightly pathetic, and could even be considered to mirror a cry of panic from Sarah. This worries the reader for her safety.

The writer presents the storm as swiftly approaching, and this worries Sarah. When ‘she could hear the distant rumble of thunder’ a sense is created that the storm may be far away. The adjective ‘distant’ connotes length, but also an idea of solitude. This makes the reader nervous as they know Sarah will be alone in the storm, with nobody to help her. The noun ‘thunder’ is aggressive, and contrasts the weakness of Sarah, who is only human. This magnifies the magnitude of the ‘long’ and ‘winding’ forthcoming storm, making her seem vulnerable. However, when ‘a branch snapped, causing her heart to race’ the declarative sentence draws the reader back to the reality of the storm, and how close it is, magnifying Sarah’s sudden realisation and panic for the forthcoming ‘storm’. As a reader, we feel unsafe in this situation and question Sarah’s ability to survive it.

Thanks in advance!!