Jealous of my best friend stealing my guy friend

So I am very confused atm. Me and My Best Friend both enrolled onto the same classes this year and in this class I had become friends with another girl (girl A) and guy (B) who were already best friends in the class. My Best Friend didn’t like this and caused a massive issue over this. She had told me that she didn’t like how close I was becoming with them and she didn’t want to hang out with them at all she had made this very known in our Friend group as well. I felt bad because girl A kept on trying to make effort and hang with us so I let her and said to my bestfriend give them a chance at least which she refused straight away and would make me feel uncomfortable about it. We had also been having previous arguments prior to this as my best friend has another guy best friend who she has only met once so it’s all online and she thought saying me and him who bare in mind she sees me everyday I put in sm effort with her compared to him and he has even told her this herself are on the same level. This really offended me because I just felt like she doesn’t even see him etc. So me and guy B had starting become good friends we would text eachother in class and have jokes here and there. I guess I was excited as I had never really had good close guy friends like that, only girls and I wanted to see how it goes. My best friend eventually gave in after trying hard to not become friends with them and then started trying to become close with guy b as well. I didn’t mind this at first but then she would start texting him in class whilst I was trying to talk to her and I found it rude. On top of this when me n her would call she would start talking about jokes they have which I don’t know why started to trigger me. Me n guy b kinda stopped then becoming close and it seemed like she had taken over. We had a few days off and he was just telling me casually that him and my best friend called last night to talk and this got me even more triggered im not sure why. I don’t even like him in that way I suppose I just for once wanted a friendship that I could be close to and I feel like that’s gone . Btw they don’t like eachother either but now I don’t know why I feel this jealousy about it I have also just broken up with my bf a couple of months ago so idk if that has any part in it.
Please help

Reply 1

khaliiq

omg that sounds horrible 😭😭 i can relate to how you feel abt ur friendship being taken over but don’t lose hope!! i honestly think you should distance yourself from your best friend for a while as your own well-being should be the most important to you; she shouldn’t be able to control your relationship with other people like that nor should she make you feel uncomfortable

take this time to sort out through all of your feelings, and maybe put down everything you would like to say to your friend about this ( you don’t need to tell her this if you don’t want to, but it’s better for you to get all your feelings down on paper first before you work anything out)

if you DO end up expressing your discomfort with your best friend and she denies, dismisses or belittles your feelings (anything along these lines), you shouldn’t hang out with her anymore. boundaries are extremely important in friendships and if your friend can’t acknowledge and respect your feelings then you end up pulling the weight of your friendships and that is not a burden you should bare.

I know it will be hard if you decide to stop hanging out with her and the loneliness might eat at you but it will get better I promise. Girl A seems sweet and she appears to be actively trying to maintain a friendship with you. Who knows, maybe you’ll become close as ever.

Hang in there 💕💕💕

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