i feel like i’m choosing the wrong future
hi! i’m a student in year 13, currently studying sociology, philosophy and politics. i’m sort of looking for advice here, but i mainly just wanna rant and know if anyone feels the same way or can relate.
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
I'd point out that you can be a writer with any degree. Equally, criminology is an academic field, not a professional field - so it doesn't lead to any specific jobs that a degree in English lit (with or without creative writing) could lead to anyway. Realistically you can achieve either career path with either degree, so focus on what you will find interesting and enjoyable for the next 3 years 
Do also try and avoid romanticising either course though, and indeed even consider other courses too to compare them - you might find you have fresh perspectives on those two courses if you consider some others. For example, anthropology fundamentally studies the nature of society and humans as social creatures, and professionally anthropology does in fact involve writing in terms of ethnographic writing; it may be a bridge between the two interests you haven't explored yet! Equally you might realise that the specifics of that don't appeal and some of those reasons also apply to one of the two courses already under consideration, giving you a better sense of which you prefer
Do also try and avoid romanticising either course though, and indeed even consider other courses too to compare them - you might find you have fresh perspectives on those two courses if you consider some others. For example, anthropology fundamentally studies the nature of society and humans as social creatures, and professionally anthropology does in fact involve writing in terms of ethnographic writing; it may be a bridge between the two interests you haven't explored yet! Equally you might realise that the specifics of that don't appeal and some of those reasons also apply to one of the two courses already under consideration, giving you a better sense of which you prefer
Reply 2
You could do a degree in what you feel like you would like (I.e. Crim) and most unis offer ‘minors’ to take on the side (I’m at Lancaster and I do Eng lit with a minor in philosophy).
Reply 3
11
Original post by Anonymous
hi! i’m a student in year 13, currently studying sociology, philosophy and politics. i’m sort of looking for advice here, but i mainly just wanna rant and know if anyone feels the same way or can relate.
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
hey lovely! what is your predicted and I am also applying for literature at Manchester! a side note is studying english does not guarantee you a successful writing career and actually many lit graduates do not pursue writing! And also university does not matter for english as long as its RG
Also another thing I wanted to point out is you do have a setback since you have not studied literature or english at a level....gcse english was an entirely different experience to a level english and many people who liked gcse english did not enjoy a level english and also it might be a disadvantage since on your personal statement for english you may be limited and oxford also does prefer students who have studied english at a level
Alternatively you can still pursue your dream! Many RG unis like manchester do prefer students to have an A in English at a level and EPQ too
Also do consider politics if you are doing well at it in a level as that is also a highly valuable degree. I would also advise maybe taking a gap year and thinking about your options!
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
hi! i’m a student in year 13, currently studying sociology, philosophy and politics. i’m sort of looking for advice here, but i mainly just wanna rant and know if anyone feels the same way or can relate.
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
Honestly, I think you should try criminology! Some fantastic advice I was told was that there wasn't a right decision (or one you're destined to make) you just make a decision and do your best. Your passion (at the moment at least) is clearly in criminology, so why not embrace that while you can! Even if you were to choose English lit/ creative writing please remember you arn't guaranteed to enjoy it and you probably don't want to spend uni more depressed than you already are. If I were you, I would take the leap and do criminology or even something adjacent and worse case scenario you can always switch degrees or even do a second degree if that is financially possible (though there are free ways to my knowledge)! I'm very much biased in my advice but please don't pressure yourself into a degree! CURRENT you will be doing the degree, not the idealised/past you who is seemingly perfect for English lit!! this is unsolicited advice from a 17 yro so dont take it too seriously but hopefully it helps!
Reply 5
11
Original post by forcedtosignup69
Honestly, I think you should try criminology! Some fantastic advice I was told was that there wasn't a right decision (or one you're destined to make) you just make a decision and do your best. Your passion (at the moment at least) is clearly in criminology, so why not embrace that while you can! Even if you were to choose English lit/ creative writing please remember you arn't guaranteed to enjoy it and you probably don't want to spend uni more depressed than you already are. If I were you, I would take the leap and do criminology or even something adjacent and worse case scenario you can always switch degrees or even do a second degree if that is financially possible (though there are free ways to my knowledge)! I'm very much biased in my advice but please don't pressure yourself into a degree! CURRENT you will be doing the degree, not the idealised/past you who is seemingly perfect for English lit!! this is unsolicited advice from a 17 yro so dont take it too seriously but hopefully it helps!
agree with this tbh but best advice would be to consider taking a gap year instead of making decisions as you dont know what the future holds and at the end of the day you have to be realistic
english at oxford is difficult if you have not studied it in a level or lack in understanding as it will reflect in your personal statements etc
I would also say that please don't conform to social understanding that literature is an easy degree and its like writing stories because as an applicant...its really not. Its an academically rigorous subject and you have to have deep interest to succeed in it. this is why out of all literary graduates only a certain percentage end up successful
if you do want to study at a better uni consider looking at rankings for crim and applying to a better uni
from reading your message it seemed to me like the problem was not english it was more of uni for crim and thats understandable
Reply 6
I understand your doubts. I'm currently finishing my master's degree in literature and I'm still not sure if I made the right decision about my future. But I believe that everything in life is given to us as an experience and if I don't do anything related to my master's degree, I will be able to get a huge experience from it, and this is a big plus
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
hi! i’m a student in year 13, currently studying sociology, philosophy and politics. i’m sort of looking for advice here, but i mainly just wanna rant and know if anyone feels the same way or can relate.
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
i absolutely love sociology. i fell in love with the subject since my first gcse sociology lesson, and i knew i’d want to do it at a-level. it was the only a-level i was 100% sure i wanted to do (at the time, anyway). i sort of just picked politics and philosophy because everything else seemed boring. i originally would’ve done sociology, philosophy and english lit, but i was going through **** in years 10-11 and my grades drastically declined. i went from straight 9s in all subjects to just being average, and i didn’t think i’d have it in me to do well in english lit as an a-level.
i now want to study criminology and criminal psychology at uni, and my 3 a-levels happen to be the PERFECT combination for this, but i can’t help but think that this isn’t the path i’m supposed to be on. i was talking to a member of the sixth form team just before the summer holidays about how i wasn’t sure if i wanted to go to uni at all, and as he was suggesting degrees i could be interested in one of them hit home - creative writing and english literature. when i was 8, i’d dreamed of being a writer and studying english lit at oxford. i published a book when i was 11 - not independently, but with an actual publisher. i’d always been a huge bookworm growing up, and had loads of stories written on our old laptop (one was 700 pages long, but our laptop broke and we couldn’t restore it which i’m honestly still upset about sometimes ☹️). my love for writing started dying down not long after my book was published because i’d become depressed due to bullying at school, and every passion i’d had towards anything slowly disappeared.
throughout my ENTIRE life i’d wanted nothing more than to be a writer and study at an amazing university. writing was my calling, it was what i was put on this earth to do. but that just isn’t attainable for me anymore. from 15 onwards my mental health took a huge toll on my studies. i’d even missed gcse exams because i was too depressed to get out of bed. i’m literally out here now looking for unis with the lowest grade requirements i can find when i used to want to go to one of the best unis in the world. not only that, but i don’t even plan on studying the same degree i’d wanted to. i want to study criminology with every fibre of my being. i can make any conversation sociological. i am so deeply interested in how intricate the fabrics of society are, how every single one of our interactions no matter how meaningless they seem shape who we become as people, how those interactions can turn individuals to crime and, hey, how do we even construct our ideas of crime? how is our morality constructed? is it intuitive like some philosophers say or is it built by the world we live in and if so how was it built? i could go on forever.
i want to study criminology so badly, but at the same time there’s this strange feeling that comes over me when i think of myself studying creative writing. creative writing is what i’m *supposed* to do. my younger self would expect nothing less of me. she knows exactly what her plan is for the future. but that’s not what my current self wants at all, is it? i can’t help but feel like studying criminology would be a mistake, like i’d regret it and yearn for the life i was supposed to have for as long as i’ll live, because this just doesn’t feel completely right to do. i don’t know what this feeling is or what to do with it or how to move on from my old dream. i don’t even know why i’m still attached to it when i hadn’t thought about it for years until last summer. i think the fact that i’m turning 18 soon might have something to do with it, like feeling confused about one milestone in my life is making me think about the milestones ahead, if that makes any sense. i just don’t really know what to do. my school’s internal deadline for ucas applications is november 29th, so it’s not like i have much time to do that either.
am i really supposed to let go of the person i‘m meant to be? how do i ignore this part of me that’s telling me my current plans are a huge mistake, when they’re the only plans i can actually work towards? even if no one has any advice, can anybody relate to this feeling?
Hi @anonymous #1
Lancaster University has a major-minor system which could allow you to study criminology with a minor relating to creative writing so long as it fits within your timetable. You can find out more about our Criminology courses here Criminology - Lancaster University
Additionally you do not have to 'give up' on your passion for creative writing, this is a field that majority of degrees will allow you to advance into creative writing quite easily or you can always have it as your side hobby if you find that spark again.
Hope this helps a bit,
Rachel -Lancaster University Student Ambassador.
Reply 8
not gonna reply to u all individually but tysm for the advice everyone <3 i deffo feel a lot more confident about choosing criminology having read what you’ve all said, and i also totally ignored the possibility that i could still pursue both passions lol (that’s black and white thinking for ya 💀) i might consider joining a writing society or smth so then that way i get to reignite my interest of creative writing at uni whilst not having it be the main thing i do, im also super interested in how you can do minors alongside your degree too, that seems pretty cool x
ty again
ty again
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