Failing to learn to drive is my biggest disappointment
I didn't learn at 17-18 at College - I was living centrally in a city and had no interest in learning to drive.
Then I went to Uni and I got a placement internship year following my second year. So I tried to learn during my internship, cause I was living with one of my parents in a small town so I figured it was a good enough time. I tried for 6-8 months ish and spent probably £600, probably 25ish hours, trying to fit it around working full time.
No driving instructors do evenings anymore it feels like. Or they're fully booked. So i'd end up doing like 8am-9am slots or trying to do an hour slot on my lunch break 12-1pm. It sucked.
And I hated it, yeah. I hated every second of being in the car, immediately shaking like a leaf, regularly used to cry in my lessons, complete anxious wreck. Step out of the car after my instructors being frustrated at me for an hour and then try and do a full day's work. I just learned to dread all my lessons and absolutely hate it.
Both instructors I had gave up on me. I joked to my friends that I got "broken up with" by my instructors twice, both times them being like "you're not ready to learn to drive, i've tried everything I can with you and you're not learning, this is a waste of time." and refunding me lol.
So after the second time I got "broken up with" I gave up. I ended up being made permanent at my job, so I still work full time there. I moved out. I rely on public transport for everything. I'm 23 in November and feel like I am probably just not gonna learn anytime soon. But I feel like, even though I have a successful career and I did well at uni and everything, I just sucked so much at driving it's like, my biggest failure.
I think if I ever try it again I'll do automatic lessons. And realistically i feel like I've got like one last shot at it before my confidence is completely shattered and I give up on learning ever.
People have suggested doing intensive courses to me and I genuinely can't imagine anything worse. I think i'd just have a full meltdown.
My theory expires in February, lol. RIP </3 I have accepted if I learn again i'll just sit it again. Still annoying though.
No massive point to any of this post I guess, I don't particularly lose out from not being able to drive, where I live there's decent transport links. I just sometimes feel quite reliant on other people in a way that's a bit frustrating.
Does anyone have advice on returning to driving lessons following bad experiences? I feel like as soon as I sit in the driver's seat again all the dread will be back lol. I don't know when i'll do it but hey, I might learn eventually.
Then I went to Uni and I got a placement internship year following my second year. So I tried to learn during my internship, cause I was living with one of my parents in a small town so I figured it was a good enough time. I tried for 6-8 months ish and spent probably £600, probably 25ish hours, trying to fit it around working full time.
No driving instructors do evenings anymore it feels like. Or they're fully booked. So i'd end up doing like 8am-9am slots or trying to do an hour slot on my lunch break 12-1pm. It sucked.
And I hated it, yeah. I hated every second of being in the car, immediately shaking like a leaf, regularly used to cry in my lessons, complete anxious wreck. Step out of the car after my instructors being frustrated at me for an hour and then try and do a full day's work. I just learned to dread all my lessons and absolutely hate it.
Both instructors I had gave up on me. I joked to my friends that I got "broken up with" by my instructors twice, both times them being like "you're not ready to learn to drive, i've tried everything I can with you and you're not learning, this is a waste of time." and refunding me lol.
So after the second time I got "broken up with" I gave up. I ended up being made permanent at my job, so I still work full time there. I moved out. I rely on public transport for everything. I'm 23 in November and feel like I am probably just not gonna learn anytime soon. But I feel like, even though I have a successful career and I did well at uni and everything, I just sucked so much at driving it's like, my biggest failure.
I think if I ever try it again I'll do automatic lessons. And realistically i feel like I've got like one last shot at it before my confidence is completely shattered and I give up on learning ever.
People have suggested doing intensive courses to me and I genuinely can't imagine anything worse. I think i'd just have a full meltdown.
My theory expires in February, lol. RIP </3 I have accepted if I learn again i'll just sit it again. Still annoying though.
No massive point to any of this post I guess, I don't particularly lose out from not being able to drive, where I live there's decent transport links. I just sometimes feel quite reliant on other people in a way that's a bit frustrating.
Does anyone have advice on returning to driving lessons following bad experiences? I feel like as soon as I sit in the driver's seat again all the dread will be back lol. I don't know when i'll do it but hey, I might learn eventually.
Reply 1
Original post by aspalax
I didn't learn at 17-18 at College - I was living centrally in a city and had no interest in learning to drive.
Then I went to Uni and I got a placement internship year following my second year. So I tried to learn during my internship, cause I was living with one of my parents in a small town so I figured it was a good enough time. I tried for 6-8 months ish and spent probably £600, probably 25ish hours, trying to fit it around working full time.
No driving instructors do evenings anymore it feels like. Or they're fully booked. So i'd end up doing like 8am-9am slots or trying to do an hour slot on my lunch break 12-1pm. It sucked.
And I hated it, yeah. I hated every second of being in the car, immediately shaking like a leaf, regularly used to cry in my lessons, complete anxious wreck. Step out of the car after my instructors being frustrated at me for an hour and then try and do a full day's work. I just learned to dread all my lessons and absolutely hate it.
Both instructors I had gave up on me. I joked to my friends that I got "broken up with" by my instructors twice, both times them being like "you're not ready to learn to drive, i've tried everything I can with you and you're not learning, this is a waste of time." and refunding me lol.
So after the second time I got "broken up with" I gave up. I ended up being made permanent at my job, so I still work full time there. I moved out. I rely on public transport for everything. I'm 23 in November and feel like I am probably just not gonna learn anytime soon. But I feel like, even though I have a successful career and I did well at uni and everything, I just sucked so much at driving it's like, my biggest failure.
I think if I ever try it again I'll do automatic lessons. And realistically i feel like I've got like one last shot at it before my confidence is completely shattered and I give up on learning ever.
People have suggested doing intensive courses to me and I genuinely can't imagine anything worse. I think i'd just have a full meltdown.
My theory expires in February, lol. RIP </3 I have accepted if I learn again i'll just sit it again. Still annoying though.
No massive point to any of this post I guess, I don't particularly lose out from not being able to drive, where I live there's decent transport links. I just sometimes feel quite reliant on other people in a way that's a bit frustrating.
Does anyone have advice on returning to driving lessons following bad experiences? I feel like as soon as I sit in the driver's seat again all the dread will be back lol. I don't know when i'll do it but hey, I might learn eventually.
Then I went to Uni and I got a placement internship year following my second year. So I tried to learn during my internship, cause I was living with one of my parents in a small town so I figured it was a good enough time. I tried for 6-8 months ish and spent probably £600, probably 25ish hours, trying to fit it around working full time.
No driving instructors do evenings anymore it feels like. Or they're fully booked. So i'd end up doing like 8am-9am slots or trying to do an hour slot on my lunch break 12-1pm. It sucked.
And I hated it, yeah. I hated every second of being in the car, immediately shaking like a leaf, regularly used to cry in my lessons, complete anxious wreck. Step out of the car after my instructors being frustrated at me for an hour and then try and do a full day's work. I just learned to dread all my lessons and absolutely hate it.
Both instructors I had gave up on me. I joked to my friends that I got "broken up with" by my instructors twice, both times them being like "you're not ready to learn to drive, i've tried everything I can with you and you're not learning, this is a waste of time." and refunding me lol.
So after the second time I got "broken up with" I gave up. I ended up being made permanent at my job, so I still work full time there. I moved out. I rely on public transport for everything. I'm 23 in November and feel like I am probably just not gonna learn anytime soon. But I feel like, even though I have a successful career and I did well at uni and everything, I just sucked so much at driving it's like, my biggest failure.
I think if I ever try it again I'll do automatic lessons. And realistically i feel like I've got like one last shot at it before my confidence is completely shattered and I give up on learning ever.
People have suggested doing intensive courses to me and I genuinely can't imagine anything worse. I think i'd just have a full meltdown.
My theory expires in February, lol. RIP </3 I have accepted if I learn again i'll just sit it again. Still annoying though.
No massive point to any of this post I guess, I don't particularly lose out from not being able to drive, where I live there's decent transport links. I just sometimes feel quite reliant on other people in a way that's a bit frustrating.
Does anyone have advice on returning to driving lessons following bad experiences? I feel like as soon as I sit in the driver's seat again all the dread will be back lol. I don't know when i'll do it but hey, I might learn eventually.
Play driving games, like Dr Driving on your phone, it has realistic enough engine and its a great way to get yourself psychologically into it without any risk. Let me know how it works.
Reply 2
Tell your boss that you'd like to learn to drive. And suggest that for 1 day a week you work an extra hour or two and for another day of the week you have an hour or two off at a time that's best for you to do your lessons.
If your work is so inflexible that you can't come up with this sort of arrangement, then maybe it's time you worked for an organisation with a more of a "family" style of management.
Be very picky about the instructor that you get. Ask around for recommendations.
Alternatively buy the car you'd like to have when you pass your test early. Probably some small cheap little noddy car with a feeble engine and a manual gearbox to make the insurance affordable. And then practice practice in that with an amateur instructor. EG your mum.
Your licence plus a car is your freedom. You're undervaluing your freedom if you feel that you're not missing out much.
Even if it costs you £2000 in total to pass your test, that's the tip of the iceberg for what motoring will cost you over the course of your lifetime.
If your work is so inflexible that you can't come up with this sort of arrangement, then maybe it's time you worked for an organisation with a more of a "family" style of management.
Be very picky about the instructor that you get. Ask around for recommendations.
Alternatively buy the car you'd like to have when you pass your test early. Probably some small cheap little noddy car with a feeble engine and a manual gearbox to make the insurance affordable. And then practice practice in that with an amateur instructor. EG your mum.
Your licence plus a car is your freedom. You're undervaluing your freedom if you feel that you're not missing out much.
Even if it costs you £2000 in total to pass your test, that's the tip of the iceberg for what motoring will cost you over the course of your lifetime.
Reply 3
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
Tell your boss that you'd like to learn to drive. And suggest that for 1 day a week you work an extra hour or two and for another day of the week you have an hour or two off at a time that's best for you to do your lessons.
If your work is so inflexible that you can't come up with this sort of arrangement, then maybe it's time you worked for an organisation with a more of a "family" style of management.
Be very picky about the instructor that you get. Ask around for recommendations.
Alternatively buy the car you'd like to have when you pass your test early. Probably some small cheap little noddy car with a feeble engine and a manual gearbox to make the insurance affordable. And then practice practice in that with an amateur instructor. EG your mum.
Your licence plus a car is your freedom. You're undervaluing your freedom if you feel that you're not missing out much.
Even if it costs you £2000 in total to pass your test, that's the tip of the iceberg for what motoring will cost you over the course of your lifetime.
If your work is so inflexible that you can't come up with this sort of arrangement, then maybe it's time you worked for an organisation with a more of a "family" style of management.
Be very picky about the instructor that you get. Ask around for recommendations.
Alternatively buy the car you'd like to have when you pass your test early. Probably some small cheap little noddy car with a feeble engine and a manual gearbox to make the insurance affordable. And then practice practice in that with an amateur instructor. EG your mum.
Your licence plus a car is your freedom. You're undervaluing your freedom if you feel that you're not missing out much.
Even if it costs you £2000 in total to pass your test, that's the tip of the iceberg for what motoring will cost you over the course of your lifetime.
Taken me a while to get back to this for a bunch of reasons, but I do want to say even though I disagree driving is as essential as you make it out to be - I do appreciate your advice.
I think my work probably would make accommodations for me if I asked. When I was learning I was still pretty new to the company and was scared of asking for things but I think if I did now it'd be no problem. So I think I could at least do it sometime in the afternoon and have it be less overwhelming on my everyday life & ability to work etc.
And I definitely think I'd need to be pickier about an instructor.
I'm still not sure I will learn anytime soon. I don't feel particularly motivated to other than out of the shame of not being able to, and as much as shame is a good motivator, I don't think it'll cut it here. The only other good reasons I can think of particularly are emergency situations i.e. my partner or cat or family member was taken ill, or for "occasional" journeys that I typically rely on lifts for now i.e. to get to areas with poor transport links, like to visit extended family. I think even if I did get my license my odds of actually getting a car (at least at the moment) are pretty low. It's expensive, I hate doing it, and most regular journeys I make can be done on foot or via public transport.
I think the idea that being able to drive is "freedom" is a somewhat outdated way of thinking when so many places are completely accessible by public transport now.
I think I will, probably, learn eventually. I think it might take something in my life changing - that would make being able to drive more imminently relevant - to motivate me. i.e. a close friend or family member moving somewhere with poor transport links, a job opportunity, etc.
Original post by aspalax
I didn't learn at 17-18 at College - I was living centrally in a city and had no interest in learning to drive.
Then I went to Uni and I got a placement internship year following my second year. So I tried to learn during my internship, cause I was living with one of my parents in a small town so I figured it was a good enough time. I tried for 6-8 months ish and spent probably £600, probably 25ish hours, trying to fit it around working full time.
No driving instructors do evenings anymore it feels like. Or they're fully booked. So i'd end up doing like 8am-9am slots or trying to do an hour slot on my lunch break 12-1pm. It sucked.
And I hated it, yeah. I hated every second of being in the car, immediately shaking like a leaf, regularly used to cry in my lessons, complete anxious wreck. Step out of the car after my instructors being frustrated at me for an hour and then try and do a full day's work. I just learned to dread all my lessons and absolutely hate it.
Both instructors I had gave up on me. I joked to my friends that I got "broken up with" by my instructors twice, both times them being like "you're not ready to learn to drive, i've tried everything I can with you and you're not learning, this is a waste of time." and refunding me lol.
So after the second time I got "broken up with" I gave up. I ended up being made permanent at my job, so I still work full time there. I moved out. I rely on public transport for everything. I'm 23 in November and feel like I am probably just not gonna learn anytime soon. But I feel like, even though I have a successful career and I did well at uni and everything, I just sucked so much at driving it's like, my biggest failure.
I think if I ever try it again I'll do automatic lessons. And realistically i feel like I've got like one last shot at it before my confidence is completely shattered and I give up on learning ever.
People have suggested doing intensive courses to me and I genuinely can't imagine anything worse. I think i'd just have a full meltdown.
My theory expires in February, lol. RIP </3 I have accepted if I learn again i'll just sit it again. Still annoying though.
No massive point to any of this post I guess, I don't particularly lose out from not being able to drive, where I live there's decent transport links. I just sometimes feel quite reliant on other people in a way that's a bit frustrating.
Does anyone have advice on returning to driving lessons following bad experiences? I feel like as soon as I sit in the driver's seat again all the dread will be back lol. I don't know when i'll do it but hey, I might learn eventually.
Then I went to Uni and I got a placement internship year following my second year. So I tried to learn during my internship, cause I was living with one of my parents in a small town so I figured it was a good enough time. I tried for 6-8 months ish and spent probably £600, probably 25ish hours, trying to fit it around working full time.
No driving instructors do evenings anymore it feels like. Or they're fully booked. So i'd end up doing like 8am-9am slots or trying to do an hour slot on my lunch break 12-1pm. It sucked.
And I hated it, yeah. I hated every second of being in the car, immediately shaking like a leaf, regularly used to cry in my lessons, complete anxious wreck. Step out of the car after my instructors being frustrated at me for an hour and then try and do a full day's work. I just learned to dread all my lessons and absolutely hate it.
Both instructors I had gave up on me. I joked to my friends that I got "broken up with" by my instructors twice, both times them being like "you're not ready to learn to drive, i've tried everything I can with you and you're not learning, this is a waste of time." and refunding me lol.
So after the second time I got "broken up with" I gave up. I ended up being made permanent at my job, so I still work full time there. I moved out. I rely on public transport for everything. I'm 23 in November and feel like I am probably just not gonna learn anytime soon. But I feel like, even though I have a successful career and I did well at uni and everything, I just sucked so much at driving it's like, my biggest failure.
I think if I ever try it again I'll do automatic lessons. And realistically i feel like I've got like one last shot at it before my confidence is completely shattered and I give up on learning ever.
People have suggested doing intensive courses to me and I genuinely can't imagine anything worse. I think i'd just have a full meltdown.
My theory expires in February, lol. RIP </3 I have accepted if I learn again i'll just sit it again. Still annoying though.
No massive point to any of this post I guess, I don't particularly lose out from not being able to drive, where I live there's decent transport links. I just sometimes feel quite reliant on other people in a way that's a bit frustrating.
Does anyone have advice on returning to driving lessons following bad experiences? I feel like as soon as I sit in the driver's seat again all the dread will be back lol. I don't know when i'll do it but hey, I might learn eventually.
I was very nervous when i first started learning to drive. Even when i was less nervous, i wasnt mega looking forward to lessons or anything, they were just things that had to be done.
Once i passed my test though and got out driving on my own, i loved it (once i got over the initial first time driving my own car nerves). I prefer driving on my own.
You may feel nervous to start with. But once you have been driving for a while, you will get used to it and it will come more naturally to you. And being able to go out and drive on your own is great. It will be worth it in the end.
Reply 5
Any little car, even automatic, will be just the ticket to get started with. You can complete the test in a manual later if you need to, although with the rise of hybrid and electric cars I'd argue the manual gearbox might not be a thing for much longer in mainstream cars.
Don't get disheartened. I didn't learn much before the age of 18 and it took me I think 40 hours of actual proper instruction to pass- and that's from someone who could just about operate anything with an engine by that age, I just didn't have the best habits and road craft. It's a very specific set of skills to drive on the road safely and they take time. Better to fail 3 times straight than pass on the first attempt- you'll be a better driver by the end of it all which is all that matters. It is by far the most hazardous activity we engage in.
Don't get disheartened. I didn't learn much before the age of 18 and it took me I think 40 hours of actual proper instruction to pass- and that's from someone who could just about operate anything with an engine by that age, I just didn't have the best habits and road craft. It's a very specific set of skills to drive on the road safely and they take time. Better to fail 3 times straight than pass on the first attempt- you'll be a better driver by the end of it all which is all that matters. It is by far the most hazardous activity we engage in.
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Theory test expires in 5 months, worth trying to pass before then?
