i don't really know what to say or how to word this but i'll give it a shot.
(i write better in bullet points than paragraphs so i'm very sorry lol)
- i just finished a foundation degree for 2 years in Illustration, hated it and wasn't very supported but i finished it
- got through it because i was going to go to a different uni for the 3rd year, and do something i actually liked, Animation. So i'd have a foundation degree in Illustration and a Bachelors in Animation.
- The plan was to enter in the 2nd year so i'd get more experience and be able to learn more.
- I'm disabled, so i need a lot of support which i never really got for 2 years. But my disability is now slowly getting worse!
- The Uni told me it would be challenging to go in to y2 of Animation, but that i should be fine because of the experience i have from the last 2 years of illustration. WRONG.
- the new uni is SO hard. a lot of it is building on stuff that they learnt in y1, all complicated programs and softwares and techniques that i never learnt because i didn't go to a uni that taught me any of that stuff.
- i feel like if they had warned me about that when i applied, or when i got accepted, i could have taught myself over the summer but they didn't tell me. so now i'm doing it and im miserable. i can't keep up, there isn't time for me to catch up because they move on so fast. i really feel like they shouldn't of let me do this, because it's too much.
I'm torn between dropping out completely and just working, where i can, i've been off sick from uni and work for 3 weeks now, i've been unable to catch up and i just, don't have the drive for it. over the summer, i was fully intent on deferring for a year, if i could get a job over the summer than i'd put uni off for a year and work and make myself better with my disability, learn to handle day to day life. But i didn't manage to get a job, at all, and we desperately needed the student money for our bills.
i think i just needed to rant but, i really don't know what to do. the only reason i want to continue with my course, is because of the student money, i want to be an animator but i don't need this whole course to do it. I thought about switching to 3rd year of illustration so i can atleast have a bachelors, but i just really don't want to do Uni at all anymore. I finished my foundation out of spite, and i'm just so burnt out i don't want to do it anymore. i also have a formative next week apparently, which i had no idea about cos i've been off, but yeah lmao. I'm also worried about what people will say.
I'm so torn lol. if anyone has any words of wisdom i'll take them, but i just needed to rant. I'm sorry <3