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Very popular guy who I am interested in

I have been checking out a guy at my university a lot during some of our classes together, and I have always wanted to hit on him a bit.
The problem, though, is that he is super-hot (6,6, muscular, dark great hair, beautiful eyes and all of that), and he is essentially put on a pedestal by lots of girls.
I see girls always flirt with him, approach him, insist that he should be with them during breaks, and so on, and I have heard that he apparently regularly sleeps with girls as well.
I am not sure if I even want to approach a guy like him, but I am at the same time hugely drawn to his looks, so I am quite hesitant.
Sure, I guess I could focus on a sex date with him, but I feel like I might become interested in him as well.
What do you think about this?

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Reply 1

Original post
by Princess05
I have been checking out a guy at my university a lot during some of our classes together, and I have always wanted to hit on him a bit.
The problem, though, is that he is super-hot (6,6, muscular, dark great hair, beautiful eyes and all of that), and he is essentially put on a pedestal by lots of girls.
I see girls always flirt with him, approach him, insist that he should be with them during breaks, and so on, and I have heard that he apparently regularly sleeps with girls as well.
I am not sure if I even want to approach a guy like him, but I am at the same time hugely drawn to his looks, so I am quite hesitant.
Sure, I guess I could focus on a sex date with him, but I feel like I might become interested in him as well.
What do you think about this?
If you’re fine with just having sex with him, then go for it. If you’re not then I’d probably stay away as that seems to be all he’s interested in for the time being.

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
If you’re fine with just having sex with him, then go for it. If you’re not then I’d probably stay away as that seems to be all he’s interested in for the time being.

Yeah, I would definitely go for him if I wasn't worried that I would want him for myself after that.

But even if I stay purely physically attracted to him, I feel like I would have to make regular new approaches if I want to continue being intimate with him, since I feel like it would be very hard to get noticed by him among all those other girls.
But I guess I should it a try either way.

Reply 3

This is where the competition is toughest and dangerous territory for things not working out well. But I’d live for the moment and try to make it happen. Who knows, you might be married with 2.5 kids 5 years from now

Reply 4

Jeeze, outside of this star-struck allure you have he's just a man. Clearly he's one of those men who has a magnetic appeal, but if you're coy you'll never get with him at all. If you like someone just for their looks then that's of course a skin-deep perspective to have. If you can communicate with him though, you might find out whether the two of you will click or not, otherwise he's just a man who wants all the women to sleep with him, and he might not be interested in a committed relationship. Personally, I wouldn't want to be going along with all these other women that are attracted to him, you gotta stand out in your own unique way to be in his life proper I reckon. But heck, if you want to just sleep with him then do as you wish, just don't be so hesitant about speaking to him, again he's just a man.

Reply 5

For the most part at university I'd suggest you just go with it. Life in general is about gathering experiences, both good and bad, and learning from all of them, but at university that's particularly the case because you're still so new to this situation of living independently and forming friendships and relationships in a much less structured environment. If you approach him he might say no. He might say yes, and you might end up sleeping with him. You might end up having a relationship with him. You might not. Either way, hesitating in this sort of situation because of something negative that might happen is counter productive in my view. Even if it goes badly, you'll learn from that. But it may not, and even if it doesn't turn into something long term, it doesn't mean it can't be something you enjoy in the short term. In reality there isn't really much of a risk of anything here. Even a bad experience that you learn from is beneficial in future. I'd roll with it and approach the guy that you find attractive. You can figure out everything else later.

Reply 6

Original post
by JDINCINERATOR
Jeeze, outside of this star-struck allure you have he's just a man. Clearly he's one of those men who has a magnetic appeal, but if you're coy you'll never get with him at all. If you like someone just for their looks then that's of course a skin-deep perspective to have. If you can communicate with him though, you might find out whether the two of you will click or not, otherwise he's just a man who wants all the women to sleep with him, and he might not be interested in a committed relationship. Personally, I wouldn't want to be going along with all these other women that are attracted to him, you gotta stand out in your own unique way to be in his life proper I reckon. But heck, if you want to just sleep with him then do as you wish, just don't be so hesitant about speaking to him, again he's just a man.

Jealous? It's fun reading the comments of jealous guys who would sell their mother to be the handsome guy lol

Reply 7

Original post
by Princess05
I have been checking out a guy at my university a lot during some of our classes together, and I have always wanted to hit on him a bit.
The problem, though, is that he is super-hot (6,6, muscular, dark great hair, beautiful eyes and all of that), and he is essentially put on a pedestal by lots of girls.
I see girls always flirt with him, approach him, insist that he should be with them during breaks, and so on, and I have heard that he apparently regularly sleeps with girls as well.
I am not sure if I even want to approach a guy like him, but I am at the same time hugely drawn to his looks, so I am quite hesitant.
Sure, I guess I could focus on a sex date with him, but I feel like I might become interested in him as well.
What do you think about this?

Well it's pretty much the same for every handsome guy, they always have lots of girls. As guys are polygamous (they enjoy having lots of girls and sex) and girls are hypergamous (which means they all chase the most attractive guys), it's exactly as you described. I notice polygamy relationships are common now, a handsome guy in relationship with four girls at the same time

Reply 8

Original post
by Rr600
Jealous? It's fun reading the comments of jealous guys who would sell their mother to be the handsome guy lol

Meh, I don't think mature men would care that much about being handsome. What is considered handsome is different to everybody anyway. Striving to be the handsome guy is like striving to be the next winner of a singing-based Reality TV show-yeah you could win, but the victory might just be skin-deep.

Reply 9

Original post
by JDINCINERATOR
Meh, I don't think mature men would care that much about being handsome. What is considered handsome is different to everybody anyway. Striving to be the handsome guy is like striving to be the next winner of a singing-based Reality TV show-yeah you could win, but the victory might just be skin-deep.

Being handsome means you can have beautiful women, so men are certainly interested. Mature men care about their looks too, so that they can get girls. Brad Pitt is 60 and still attracts young girls

Reply 10

Original post
by Rr600
Being handsome means you can have beautiful women, so men are certainly interested. Mature men care about their looks too, so that they can get girls. Brad Pitt is 60 and still attracts young girls

Concepts of handsome and beautiful are totally made up. Brad Pitt wouldn't attract so many if he wasn't famous.

Reply 11

Original post
by Princess05
I have been checking out a guy at my university a lot during some of our classes together, and I have always wanted to hit on him a bit.
The problem, though, is that he is super-hot (6,6, muscular, dark great hair, beautiful eyes and all of that), and he is essentially put on a pedestal by lots of girls.
I see girls always flirt with him, approach him, insist that he should be with them during breaks, and so on, and I have heard that he apparently regularly sleeps with girls as well.
I am not sure if I even want to approach a guy like him, but I am at the same time hugely drawn to his looks, so I am quite hesitant.
Sure, I guess I could focus on a sex date with him, but I feel like I might become interested in him as well.
What do you think about this?

Break the ice with him. Set the frame that you're primarily interacting with him in order to amuse yourself and in order to investigate what he's like under the skin.

A proportion of men with demi-god looks are "empty biscuit tin men". They have a pretty painted attractive box, but when you take the lid off, there's nothing inside. Apart from a few stale crumbs.

Over time you'll discover that the best men to have relationships with are beautiful on the inside. Some of them will come in a handsome package, some in a mediocre looking package. Almost none of them will have an ugly body. Because part of inner beauty is the discipline / wisdom to have a reasonably healthy lifestyle.


Original post
by Rr600
Well it's pretty much the same for every handsome guy, they always have lots of girls. As guys are polygamous (they enjoy having lots of girls and sex) and girls are hypergamous (which means they all chase the most attractive guys), it's exactly as you described. I notice polygamy relationships are common now, a handsome guy in relationship with four girls at the same time

There's plenty of great looking men that have non-existent or almost non-existent love lives.
And there' plenty that struggle when it comes to retaining girlfriends or wives.

Hypergamy is great. As a man you should be, or should aspire to be the joint best boyfriend in the world. It's easier to join this club than to not be in it. (plenty of men make dumb choices and make their lives harder)
Being the joint best boyfriend in the world will make you attractive. End of the line, final destination attractive.

Reply 12

Original post
by Rr600
Jealous? It's fun reading the comments of jealous guys who would sell their mother to be the handsome guy lol

Yes, many people can look handsome, and the rest... won't find themselves the same way with how society poses to them. I agree that appearance and attractiveness are definitely factors when trying to create a relationship with someone.

In your opinion, would you just base it on appearance or what else? :pizza:

Reply 13

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
Break the ice with him. Set the frame that you're primarily interacting with him in order to amuse yourself and in order to investigate what he's like under the skin.
A proportion of men with demi-god looks are "empty biscuit tin men". They have a pretty painted attractive box, but when you take the lid off, there's nothing inside. Apart from a few stale crumbs.
Over time you'll discover that the best men to have relationships with are beautiful on the inside. Some of them will come in a handsome package, some in a mediocre looking package. Almost none of them will have an ugly body. Because part of inner beauty is the discipline / wisdom to have a reasonably healthy lifestyle.
There's plenty of great looking men that have non-existent or almost non-existent love lives.
And there' plenty that struggle when it comes to retaining girlfriends or wives.
Hypergamy is great. As a man you should be, or should aspire to be the joint best boyfriend in the world. It's easier to join this club than to not be in it. (plenty of men make dumb choices and make their lives harder)
Being the joint best boyfriend in the world will make you attractive. End of the line, final destination attractive.

As much as I agree that the inner quality within the person is what can impact the long-term state of the relationship the most in a positive manner, wouldn't you think that appearance does play a major role somewhere along the lines too? :pizza:

Reply 14

Original post
by Mr_Pizza
As much as I agree that the inner quality within the person is what can impact the long-term state of the relationship the most in a positive manner, wouldn't you think that appearance does play a major role somewhere along the lines too? :pizza:

Men and women are more similar than dissimilar. So that - as a general guideline - when it comes to understanding women, understand yourself first. And then apply that to women.

If you came across a woman that had a broken nose and wonky teeth and a lopsided mouth and a pointy chin. Would you be attracted to her if she had a BMI of 21 and she was vivacious and was good at interacting with you and she coped with stress and pressure and setbacks well? And she was wearing a tight fitting little black dress?
Someone could be cruel by rating her mugshot as a 2.
I would find her attractive enough to be highly motivated to start a sexual relationship with her because of her body, her inner beauty and her clothes (or lack of them from the mid-thigh down to the ankles).

Now construct a male equivalent of this woman. Dress him in a bespoke shirt and properly fitting trousers or jeans. Or a bespoke suit for more formal events. Such a man would be successful enough with women. More successful than a guy with a gym honed body and the face of a demi-god that had poor to mediocre Game.

So yes appearance is of some importance. However it's easy for the vast majority of people to be good enough looking, even if they have a 2 out of 10 face.

Reply 15

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
Men and women are more similar than dissimilar. So that - as a general guideline - when it comes to understanding women, understand yourself first. And then apply that to women.
If you came across a woman that had a broken nose and wonky teeth and a lopsided mouth and a pointy chin. Would you be attracted to her if she had a BMI of 21 and she was vivacious and was good at interacting with you and she coped with stress and pressure and setbacks well? And she was wearing a tight fitting little black dress?
Someone could be cruel by rating her mugshot as a 2.
I would find her attractive enough to be highly motivated to start a sexual relationship with her because of her body, her inner beauty and her clothes (or lack of them from the mid-thigh down to the ankles).
Now construct a male equivalent of this woman. Dress him in a bespoke shirt and properly fitting trousers or jeans. Or a bespoke suit for more formal events. Such a man would be successful enough with women. More successful than a guy with a gym honed body and the face of a demi-god that had poor to mediocre Game.
So yes appearance is of some importance. However it's easy for the vast majority of people to be good enough looking, even if they have a 2 out of 10 face.

Yes, I completely understand and have learnt from you. Thank you ever so much! :pizza:

Reply 16

6 days later, any progress made with the guy?

Reply 17

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
Break the ice with him. Set the frame that you're primarily interacting with him in order to amuse yourself and in order to investigate what he's like under the skin.
A proportion of men with demi-god looks are "empty biscuit tin men". They have a pretty painted attractive box, but when you take the lid off, there's nothing inside. Apart from a few stale crumbs.
Over time you'll discover that the best men to have relationships with are beautiful on the inside. Some of them will come in a handsome package, some in a mediocre looking package. Almost none of them will have an ugly body. Because part of inner beauty is the discipline / wisdom to have a reasonably healthy lifestyle.
There's plenty of great looking men that have non-existent or almost non-existent love lives.
And there' plenty that struggle when it comes to retaining girlfriends or wives.
Hypergamy is great. As a man you should be, or should aspire to be the joint best boyfriend in the world. It's easier to join this club than to not be in it. (plenty of men make dumb choices and make their lives harder)
Being the joint best boyfriend in the world will make you attractive. End of the line, final destination attractive.

Hypergamy is great only if you're a handsome good-looking guy. As the OP has said, this handsome guy has many girls who chase him and she is ready to wait her turn, even if she knows that he doesn't commit to a monogamous relationship. So this guy has a harem of girls, meanwhile other unattractive guys get nothing because all girls are waiting for the handsome gu
(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 18

Original post
by Adz2042
6 days later, any progress made with the guy?

Well it's quite obvious, as the OP has said the guy is super hot and she's interested in him like all girls, even if he doesn't commit to a monogamous relationship like all handsome guys. She certainly gets her turn

Reply 19

Original post
by Rr600
Hypergamy is great only if you're a handsome good-looking guy. As the OP has said, this handsome guy has many girls who chase him and she is ready to wait her turn, even if she knows that he doesn't commit to a monogamous relationship. So this guy has a harem of girls, meanwhile other unattractive guys get nothing because all girls are waiting for the handsome gu

There's a pub in a city in the UK that does bingo on a Sunday evening. The guy that organises it and does the calling is a 24 year old student with a 1 or 2 face, 5' 7" in height, BMI about 28, with blonde hair ( I don't know if it's natural or bleached).
A proportion of the young student women that play bingo at this pub would if he made a not too cringey move on them.
They know nothing about his personality apart from how he does bingo for this pub and that he's into rugby.

How does this fit in with your views on hypergamy?


Original post
by Rr600
Well it's quite obvious, as the OP has said the guy is super hot and she's interested in him like all girls, even if he doesn't commit to a monogamous relationship like all handsome guys. She certainly gets her turn

What proportion of handsome guys in the UK have had more than 5 female sexual partners in the last 12 months?

Every handsome guy that I know has had 0 or 1.

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