How do you avoid going home at Christmas?

Living on my own at university has made me realise how my home environment was killing me, literally. Being in my uni town and accomodation I feel like I've been given a fresh start and it's like the depression I suffered with my entire life just disappeared. I returned home stupidly for my reading week and I came to realise just how toxic it is here, how I just can't cope knowing nevermind living with my family here. I love Christmas with family, but I don't think I can do it and force myself to come back home. Being there last week had a huge impact on my mental health that everytime I think back on the week I just zone out and feel really depressed. Just after Christmas is my exams, so that's not something I want to happen. I kind of just wanted to rant and see if there's any other students in a similar position of cutting family off slowly? How do you avoid holidays like Christmas and being expected to go home? I don't want to be alone on Christmas but I think I'd prefer it. I've already eased the topic by saying I don't know how long I'd be able to come home for because of exams but they're saying I should still come back.

Reply 1

mike23mike

16

lots of international students dont go home too so the uni will not be totally empty. yes, it will not have the same feel - cafes will be closed or empty. Ditto the library will have limited opening times. You could get some holiday work to stop you from being alone; restaurants will be super busy. Alternatively you could volunteer in a soup kitchen and help out. This will enhance your CV too.

Original post by Anonymous

Living on my own at university has made me realise how my home environment was killing me, literally. Being in my uni town and accomodation I feel like I've been given a fresh start and it's like the depression I suffered with my entire life just disappeared. I returned home stupidly for my reading week and I came to realise just how toxic it is here, how I just can't cope knowing nevermind living with my family here. I love Christmas with family, but I don't think I can do it and force myself to come back home. Being there last week had a huge impact on my mental health that everytime I think back on the week I just zone out and feel really depressed. Just after Christmas is my exams, so that's not something I want to happen. I kind of just wanted to rant and see if there's any other students in a similar position of cutting family off slowly? How do you avoid holidays like Christmas and being expected to go home? I don't want to be alone on Christmas but I think I'd prefer it. I've already eased the topic by saying I don't know how long I'd be able to come home for because of exams but they're saying I should still come back.

Hello, sorry to hear you're having difficulties at home. Not everyone goes home over the Christmas break and your uni (and college if you're at a collegiate uni) should have lots of events and gatherings going on over the break. The student union and student well-being team should have information on events and support resources. Take care of yourself.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Living on my own at university has made me realise how my home environment was killing me, literally. Being in my uni town and accomodation I feel like I've been given a fresh start and it's like the depression I suffered with my entire life just disappeared. I returned home stupidly for my reading week and I came to realise just how toxic it is here, how I just can't cope knowing nevermind living with my family here. I love Christmas with family, but I don't think I can do it and force myself to come back home. Being there last week had a huge impact on my mental health that everytime I think back on the week I just zone out and feel really depressed. Just after Christmas is my exams, so that's not something I want to happen. I kind of just wanted to rant and see if there's any other students in a similar position of cutting family off slowly? How do you avoid holidays like Christmas and being expected to go home? I don't want to be alone on Christmas but I think I'd prefer it. I've already eased the topic by saying I don't know how long I'd be able to come home for because of exams but they're saying I should still come back.

In my country, we don't celebrate Christmas. I always dream about Christmas and how people in west celebrates it! I am curious how you'll feel. But when I was little I would have this little Santa and forced my parents to buy me cakes. I'm 20 and I never actually celebrated Christmas. I'm in tears whenever I read others views on Christmas. Sorry it's just really emotional for me..

Original post by Anonymous

Living on my own at university has made me realise how my home environment was killing me, literally. Being in my uni town and accomodation I feel like I've been given a fresh start and it's like the depression I suffered with my entire life just disappeared. I returned home stupidly for my reading week and I came to realise just how toxic it is here, how I just can't cope knowing nevermind living with my family here. I love Christmas with family, but I don't think I can do it and force myself to come back home. Being there last week had a huge impact on my mental health that everytime I think back on the week I just zone out and feel really depressed. Just after Christmas is my exams, so that's not something I want to happen. I kind of just wanted to rant and see if there's any other students in a similar position of cutting family off slowly? How do you avoid holidays like Christmas and being expected to go home? I don't want to be alone on Christmas but I think I'd prefer it. I've already eased the topic by saying I don't know how long I'd be able to come home for because of exams but they're saying I should still come back.

It happens to lots of folks and it's a natural part of growing up, even if home life isn't toxic, but even mores if it is. Just make up a simple, dull excuse - "I've got a short term job helping a lecturer out with some research before Christmas, and some important exams straight after. I'll be home on the evening of the 23rd, and I need to go back on 27th". Whatever sounds right. Then at Easter 'get another job' combined with 'traveling with mates' etc etc.

Reply 5

Stiffy Byng

19

I echo the suggestion above to sign up with a homeless shelter to help provide meals etc over Christmas. It's a noble thing to do and most people who do it feel good about doing so.

If you really cannot avoid Xmas at home, turn up as late as possible on Christmas eve and leave as early as possible on Boxing Day.

Maybe see if you can wangle an invitation to spend Christmas with a university friend who has a warm family background and whose family home has a spare room.

Original post by Anonymous

Living on my own at university has made me realise how my home environment was killing me, literally. Being in my uni town and accomodation I feel like I've been given a fresh start and it's like the depression I suffered with my entire life just disappeared. I returned home stupidly for my reading week and I came to realise just how toxic it is here, how I just can't cope knowing nevermind living with my family here. I love Christmas with family, but I don't think I can do it and force myself to come back home. Being there last week had a huge impact on my mental health that everytime I think back on the week I just zone out and feel really depressed. Just after Christmas is my exams, so that's not something I want to happen. I kind of just wanted to rant and see if there's any other students in a similar position of cutting family off slowly? How do you avoid holidays like Christmas and being expected to go home? I don't want to be alone on Christmas but I think I'd prefer it. I've already eased the topic by saying I don't know how long I'd be able to come home for because of exams but they're saying I should still come back.

Hi there,

It sounds like you are experiencing a difficult time, and realising that you feel much healthier in your university environment is a huge step in understanding what you need for your well-being. When it comes to the holidays, it is ok to set boundaries that protect your mental health! If the idea of going back home seems to overwhelming, you may want to make alternate plans! 🙂

Staying at university could actually be a great opportunity to get involved in various activities and connect with others who will be staying on campus over the Christmas period. Many uni's will be holding events and support for students staying on campus, so it may be worth checking out what is going on at your university! Additionally, you may want to keep an eye out for any activities in your surrounding area which may be fun to get involved in! Keeping an eye out with the Student Union website is a good option to see whats running.

It is important to take one step at a time and don't put too much pressure on yourself- make sure to do what is best for you!

Millie 🙂
BSc International Development

How do you avoid going home at Christmas?

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