What grade would you give this thesis? (GCSE AQA Macbeth)

Question: How does Shakespeare explore ideas of masculinity in Macbeth?

(Extract is from Act 4, Scene 3 - Malcolm and Macduff’s conversation)

Shakespeare’s aim in Macbeth is to create a cautionary tale about unchecked ambition and to explore its causes and effects, whilst also challenging other socially constructed ideas, such as gender norms. Although masculinity in the play is defined by agression, ambition and emotianal strength, these qualities are rendered futile if not accompanied by compassion, conscience and vulnerability, otherwise considered feminine traits. Shakespeare suggests that masculinity and femininity are not inherently tied to gender, rather that they are qualities that should be balanced in a person. His use of Macbeth to portray excessive amounts or ambition contrasts with Macduff, who has enough conscience to keep his ambition in check. He pairs unchecked ambition and an imbalance of masculine-feminine traits as extremes, proposing that the only way to avoid their detrimental effects is to maintain a balance.