They do not want to keep in touch with me anymore

I shared a house with a somehow very sensitive person before. A couple of disputes happened during the stay for which I apologised repeatedly though I did not think I was really wrong, for the sake of keeping everyone happy, while I tried my best to improve myself, if not tip-toed around the person so as not to make them mad again.

I was away in spring for a few weeks for trip to relax myself and when returned, the person was smiley to me until the end of the tenancy in early summer, during which I travelled again and bought the person a gift which was accepted, so I assumed the person was no longer mad about it.

Five months have passed I missed the person a lot, so dropped them a message asking how they were. Polite, simple and straightforward. The person gave me a pretty aggressive response that [those long-ago disputes] made them feel traumatised and no longer wish to speak to me anymore (the person had a habit of overusing psychology jargons).

I don’t know what’s going on as the person didn’t say they were still upset about anything when we moved out. We still smiled at each other when coming across and had a couple of messages related to the old rental issue. Nothing hostile but friendly.

I don’t know why the person appears to be suddenly mad about something that have supposedly been resolved long time ago, nor do I know if the person was not in a good mood which might have had an impact on their perception of my check-in. I admit I have somehow taken too much responsibility for others’ emotions and tried my best to be nice, but to no avail.

Why is this happening? I feel rubbish. I’ve lost faith in human relationship and no longer want to see any friends as friends anymore. Is this too extreme?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Paragraph 2: [...] a few weeks of trip

Reply 2

CamembertPaws

TSR Community Staff

It sounds like to me, do you need to keep in touch with this person? although it's a nice of you to reach out to them, if you felt like there were issues whilst you lived together maybe it's best to leave it. You sound like a compassionate person but sometimes people are best to be left to their own devices and that's okay! If you want to be friends with them then I would think they'd have seen it the same way, right? you can still be a good friend to them even if they wish to move on and that's perfectly okay :smile:

hope this helps

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by CamembertPaws

hope this helps

It is not necessary to, but I did it as a sign of goodwill. I am rather heartbroken that it’s snubbed in a cruel way. I somehow regret all the apologies and whatever measures I took to fix all the issues that she had claimed to have existed at the expense of myself, when some folks simply hate those being good, nice, innocent or caring about others more than themselves. It is a waste of all my time, energy and kindness to have done so much simply to keep the person happy. I am tired of it, sincerely tired of it. I have totally lost faith in human relationship as a result.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

She still has old friends living in the same town and I have no idea of what they think about me given that she told them things about me before. I do not have the chance to defend myself against allegations but unfairly made out to be a villain.