My bf is really insecure

Me and my bf have known eachother for 6 years on and off but currently dating for 2, at the start of the rs he played around with girls a lot and used me but he got better but he still hurt me, now i think we’re kinda stable but he’s so insecure. I was hurt by him cheating on me in the past and was struggling with quite bad depression which is so excuse and i said, “if we get back tg ill cheat on you ten times worse”, that was so wrong of me , it was 9 months ago but it was terrible of me and it has traumatised him. Now he’s so insecure it’s becoming unbearable. I know it’s my fault but I can’t do a long term Rs with this. We probably won’t work out because he wants to join the RAF and Im pursuing law and I think the lifestyle we’d lead if we stayed together would be incompatible for what I’d like for my future. He doesn’t go to my school so that adds more to his paranoia since he can’t keep his eye on me as often as we have only seen eachother 5 times this year. Hes an amazing bf but idk how I can carry on, I have 2 bsfs and one boy who im friends with for longer than I’ve known my bf. Nothing has ever happened between me and this boy, we don’t flirt, last time we did was before me and my bf were together properly but it didn’t go anywhere and now he has a gf and she’s his first gf ever so he’s super loyal and excited. We don’t talk in school as I hang out in the library alone so we have a proper text convo maybe 4 times max a month, and we’d play video games maybe twice a month on call just to catch up and it’s all friendly. My bf and him knows eachother, he respects my bf, other than snap me and my friend don’t follow eachother and everything is friendly and respectful however my bf breaks down over these monthly calls with him. He knows he’s a very good guy with a gf and entirely different friend group but it haunts him. He wants me to cut him off and that means I’d have 2 friends that don’t even go to my school. I don’t think it’s right to do this but he breaks down. Every morning he checks my Instagram following as soon as he wakes up and will sometimes send me ss and breakdown despite the fact I only follow 95 people most of which I know , no boys trying to be hot for cameras and a couple celebrities so I think my following is good. On top of this he stalks my tiktok profile at least 10 times a day, I always get the notification. He breaks down over me reposting my favorite sinner even tho it’s in a way that didn’t focus on his physical appearance. I also reposts concerts of singers I’d wish to go to and it makes him sad. I feel he’s happy that I’m a complete loner and it’s lowkey driving me crazy and I feel trapped. I’ve tried talking but he is too insecure. I love told him I have something to do however I was referring to alevel maths revision and I come back to him begging me to tell him what I’m doing as he says he’s “too insecure, he needs to know”. I even applied to the uni of Nottingham last month and he was so sad and was arguing that is notorious for cheating and started sending me tiktoks about all the cheating in Nottingham uni and in a way trying to convince me to withdraw my application. it’s honestly driving me away but I know it’s my fault because of what I said and I don’t know what to do because I love him and I’ve tried talking to him but it’s all the same and a part of me feels relieved that I will be going to uni next year

Reply 1

Ren Dover7

Let's be practical, who's benefitting more, and is he getting better or worse?

Reply 2

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

Nothing you have said are the actions of 2 people who love each other. Immaturity, trust issues, poor communication, being controlling; end it now because it's going nowhere.