Question for girls

BristolGuy2002

I am 22, have never had much luck with girls. I have nice guy syndrome, where girls seem to pick the nice guys last

I have never been in a relationship, never had sex, not even had a proper kiss. Or even been on a date. I have tried dating apps, but get no likes, and I've also tried going out clubbing.

What am I doing wrong? Is it my looks, because I can't even get girls to like me based on looks, or is it my personality when they do get to know me?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

if you label yourself as a "nice guy" - maybe you're not that nice.

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

What's your height and weight?
Do you have a sharp looking haircut and stubble on your chin?
Do you own and wear any bespoke shirts? Any bespoke suits?
Do your casual clothes fit you well? Well fitting generally equals tight whilst being able to move freely.

Do you have professional looking photos on your dating app profiles?
Does the text of your profile target your target audience? Or is it some bland, same as all the other guys text?
Do you write attention grabbing initial messages?
Do you know how to respond to her messages, depending on what she's saying and how she's saying it?

Do you know what constitutes good man to woman social skills according to leading dating coaches?

Are you on the autistic spectrum? (It's fine if you are, it's just that an appropriate strategy for you is the best way forward)

How much time have you devoted to practising your man to woman social skills as a percentage of your waking hours?
What will you do to increase this percentage?

When you break the ice with a woman, what's your inner foundation / thoughts / feelings / emotions?

Have you sat down and thought about the sort of woman you're after? Your target woman? Is such a woman realistic? EG some men lust after a successful bubbly charismatic outgoing model type woman that will be great at domestic chores, including cooking and happy to stay at home and play wifey for him.
Whilst other men are happy to accept the first woman that will have him.

Reply 3

toppby55

Original post by BristolGuy2002

I am 22, have never had much luck with girls. I have nice guy syndrome, where girls seem to pick the nice guys last
I have never been in a relationship, never had sex, not even had a proper kiss. Or even been on a date. I have tried dating apps, but get no likes, and I've also tried going out clubbing.
What am I doing wrong? Is it my looks, because I can't even get girls to like me based on looks, or is it my personality when they do get to know me?

I don’t know what you look like/ what your personality is so idk but I”m in a similar boat as you except I’m a girl. Although, I’ve never been on a dating app or anything because of my social anxiety. I’m sure you lol meet the girl of your dreams when you least expect it. Just keep getting out there and meeting new people

Reply 4

offshore-cauldro

Original post by BristolGuy2002

I am 22, have never had much luck with girls. I have nice guy syndrome, where girls seem to pick the nice guys last
I have never been in a relationship, never had sex, not even had a proper kiss. Or even been on a date. I have tried dating apps, but get no likes, and I've also tried going out clubbing.
What am I doing wrong? Is it my looks, because I can't even get girls to like me based on looks, or is it my personality when they do get to know me?

Struggling with dating? Here's the truth: it's not about "nice guys finishing last"—it's about how you approach relationships. If you see kindness as a reason women should like you, that’s not genuine kindness—it’s entitlement. Relationships aren’t rewards for being “nice”; they’re about mutual respect and connection.
Focus on building your confidence, developing interests, and being authentic—not just trying to be liked. Dating apps and clubs might not work because you're coming across as frustrated or self-pitying, which pushes people away. Reflect on how you see women: as individuals, not as validation for your worth.
The problem isn’t women—it’s how you’re framing yourself. Work on yourself first, and relationships will follow.

Reply 5

Paskenz

Original post by BristolGuy2002

I am 22, have never had much luck with girls. I have nice guy syndrome, where girls seem to pick the nice guys last
I have never been in a relationship, never had sex, not even had a proper kiss. Or even been on a date. I have tried dating apps, but get no likes, and I've also tried going out clubbing.
What am I doing wrong? Is it my looks, because I can't even get girls to like me based on looks, or is it my personality when they do get to know me?

There's a girl who hasn't found you yet, but both of you will be a good fit, so focus on your goals. The right girl will come at the right time.

Reply 6

studio1

I've only been in relationships with guys from dating apps, so I can give some advice on what I look for.

Firstly, I will start with my personal preferences (every woman's is different).
I immediately skip guys who have photos of them holding a fish, because I do not agree with harming animals. I also skip those that have any female in their photos, as I don't think it's attractive. Then I skip those who are not my type physically, for example I am particular about race. I'm into brown guys, so I will skip all the guys who are other races as I'm not attracted to them. I also skip those that are too old, I would probably only date a guy either my age (not younger) or maximum 3 years older than me. Then I would say I'd narrow down on religion, I don't think I could be with someone who is an atheist or agnostic, as I believe in a creator. I also can't be with anyone who eats meat, they must be at least a vegetarian. After that, I will initiate conversation with them, and if they're too dry, I will not be interested. But from there, it all depends on how they're like over text. I like to be myself, so if you're not being expressive in your personality, then how can I get to know you?

I also realized that I'm attracted to guys who are broken. If they look like they have issues, I will be into that. It's because I grew up in a bad family, so I am naturally interested in those who have gone through it as well. I'll want to be the one who gives them all the love in the world, while they don't understand what love is. I guess trying to be a saviour.. anyways, every girl is different, but I hope this gave you some perspective on what it's like for a woman.

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by BristolGuy2002

I am 22, have never had much luck with girls. I have nice guy syndrome, where girls seem to pick the nice guys last
I have never been in a relationship, never had sex, not even had a proper kiss. Or even been on a date. I have tried dating apps, but get no likes, and I've also tried going out clubbing.
What am I doing wrong? Is it my looks, because I can't even get girls to like me based on looks, or is it my personality when they do get to know me?

It's all your mentality my guy... You're ONLY 22. You're going to live until you're like 90 - there's 12 months In a year, 365 days, which means you still have 596,088 hours (68 yrs) to find a girlfriend (till 90). Spend those hours on something useful, and productive, maybe even spend them trying to build a sense of self-esteem. Rather than seeking out a girlfriend, seek friendships. Connections. You don't just go up to a girl and WHAM, girlfriend. You start off as their friend. Re-evaluate your expectations of/in a relationship.

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Original post by offshore-cauldro

Completely agree with that.

Reply 10

Kathy89

Personality... more like a self esteem and confidence and masking.
I'm pretty sure that most of the girls won't go with someone who has no confidence. I would be a friend with someone who has low confidence and will try to help, but won't start a relationship with someone like that. I would even say I would friendzone them.
You have to build up your confidence. Stop using masks, be yourself. First impressions are important but relationships should be built based on real characteristics. Don't try to impress a girl by saying you are nice, be nice, they will see that you are nice. Try to focus on your interests on the introduction and look for a girl with similar interests. Start making friends with them first. Not dating right away. Blind dates are often awkward and everyone is trying to impress the other side more than getting to know each other so they usually don't work well.
Bars and pubs are mostly for a one night stand, probably not what you are looking for.