haven't found many friends at uni so far
I know it's still relatively early on in the year but I thought I would have found a few people by now who I click with. All my flatmates are nice enough, I only live with one other girl but we've become really close and I spend the majority of my time with her and we go to social environments which has helped me meet more people, the others I talk to around the flat but that's it and it's never more than a couple of sentences. Outside of my flat I'm in quite an interactive course and we do a lot of group work with different people so I've been having conversations with different people every few weeks, I'm just not sure I've clicked with anyone in these. There is one girl I've met in my course who I go to class with and have lunch with but the conversation is quite surface level and I'm not sure if it'll last long term. I have social anxiety so meeting new people isn't my strong point, but I have been trying to push myself more. During freshers week I found it quite hard because everyone was clubbing and that's just not really my scene, it seems like this has put me at a disadvantage though because a lot of the people who met then are still hanging out with each other. I've kinda just started accepting the situation but I really would like to meet a few people who I get along with and can meet outside of lectures. Any advice or similar experience?
Reply 1
No unfortunately
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousI know it's still relatively early on in the year but I thought I would have found a few people by now who I click with. All my flatmates are nice enough, I only live with one other girl but we've become really close and I spend the majority of my time with her and we go to social environments which has helped me meet more people, the others I talk to around the flat but that's it and it's never more than a couple of sentences. Outside of my flat I'm in quite an interactive course and we do a lot of group work with different people so I've been having conversations with different people every few weeks, I'm just not sure I've clicked with anyone in these. There is one girl I've met in my course who I go to class with and have lunch with but the conversation is quite surface level and I'm not sure if it'll last long term. I have social anxiety so meeting new people isn't my strong point, but I have been trying to push myself more. During freshers week I found it quite hard because everyone was clubbing and that's just not really my scene, it seems like this has put me at a disadvantage though because a lot of the people who met then are still hanging out with each other. I've kinda just started accepting the situation but I really would like to meet a few people who I get along with and can meet outside of lectures. Any advice or similar experience?
Hi there,
As you've said, it's still early in the year. It's still early in your university journey too! It sounds like you've done a great job at socializing when you can so far, so keep that up.
These friendships can and should develop over time, and it might help if you could suggest other places to hangout. For example, you could ask all of your flatmates if they want to go to a Christmas event (e.g., a Christmas market, a local parade, etc), and ask that girl on your course to come along to a similar outing (e.g., events, coffee, lunch in the city). It might feel awkward this early on, especially as friendships seem surface-level, but I've found that these are great ways to get to know each other better.
I also just wanted to point out that not clubbing during Welcome Week has not put you at any disadvantage! There are so many ways to make friends and so many people that also don't participate in these events, so keep that in mind. In my experience, I've found that certain groups who did go clubbing together and seemed to be really close didn't last too long past the end of first year, so there is that to consider too. Friendship groups will always change and evolve, so don't compare yourself to anyone else.
Aside from continuing to socialize with those you are close with already, are you a member of any sports or societies? Are you interested in volunteering or part-time work? Is there an activity you love to do and can find a club for? These are all great ways to meet new people while also doing things you love.
Do keep in mind that making those lasting friendships takes time. Not everyone moves at the same pace, so it is important not to compare yourself too. You will have plenty of opportunities to meet new people and make friends now and throughout your university journey, so keep trying!
I hope this helps,
Isabella
Fourth-Year Geography with a Year Abroad Student
Original post
by AnonymousI know it's still relatively early on in the year but I thought I would have found a few people by now who I click with. All my flatmates are nice enough, I only live with one other girl but we've become really close and I spend the majority of my time with her and we go to social environments which has helped me meet more people, the others I talk to around the flat but that's it and it's never more than a couple of sentences. Outside of my flat I'm in quite an interactive course and we do a lot of group work with different people so I've been having conversations with different people every few weeks, I'm just not sure I've clicked with anyone in these. There is one girl I've met in my course who I go to class with and have lunch with but the conversation is quite surface level and I'm not sure if it'll last long term. I have social anxiety so meeting new people isn't my strong point, but I have been trying to push myself more. During freshers week I found it quite hard because everyone was clubbing and that's just not really my scene, it seems like this has put me at a disadvantage though because a lot of the people who met then are still hanging out with each other. I've kinda just started accepting the situation but I really would like to meet a few people who I get along with and can meet outside of lectures. Any advice or similar experience?
Hey,
It’s great to hear you’ve been putting yourself out there despite your social anxiety - that’s a big step, and it shows how committed you are to building connections. University can feel overwhelming socially, especially when it seems like everyone else has already found their group, but the truth is, many people are still figuring things out, just like you.
One thing to keep in mind is that meaningful friendships often take time to develop. It’s normal to feel like you haven’t ‘clicked’ yet, but the more you interact with people - whether in your course or elsewhere - the better the chances are that those surface-level conversations might evolve into something deeper. Keep spending time with the girl in your course; sometimes friendships take a while to grow naturally.
Since clubbing isn’t your scene, maybe look into other social opportunities, like joining societies, clubs, or hobby-based groups. Even at this stage of the year, societies are a great way to meet people with similar interests in a more low-pressure environment. Your university might also have specific events or meet-ups for those who don’t enjoy clubbing.
It’s also worth reaching out to support services at your university. Here at Salford, we have Wellbeing and Counselling Services who can help guide you through situations like this. If you’re feeling stuck or anxious about socialising, having someone to talk to about these feelings can be really helpful. Most universities have similar services, so it’s worth exploring what’s available.
Finally, don’t hesitate to reach out to your flatmates more, even if it’s just for casual chats in the shared spaces. Sometimes bonds form in the smallest, most unexpected moments. You’re doing well so far—keep pushing yourself, but be kind to yourself too. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and with time, you’ll find your people.
Best of luck!
Arslan – University of Salford Student Representative
Reply 4
I'm literally going through the same exact thing, I am not close with my flatmates and at this point I kind of don't expect that we'll become very close and start hanging out. Though I do have one flatmate who I'm friends with. Coursemates are nice and I've made friends but due to everyone scrambling for housing and having alright relationships with their flatmates I feel that I'm a secondary friend to them.
Though I can tell you, you're 100% not alone in this. I've had multiple conversations with people who are also not close with their flatmates and are struggling with the unadvertised loneliness of university.
A lot of the marketing of university is people sat around reading textbooks and socialising when it's really not that. It can also be a struggle as it seems that everyone around you already has their 'lifelong friendships', this is not overly true. I can promise you that some of these people are going to have major fallings out with eachother later in the year.
I think the best thing to do at the moment is to give yourself a break first of all, you've pushed yourself very hard emotionally and you've done pretty well. You've also moved away from home for the first time, everything is going to feel awkward and like it doesn't fit because you don't have your familiar home to ground you in place. I haven't really found a solution to our problem, though I think the best course of action is to keep trying. Societies are definitely a good fallback to meet people you probably will click with e.g. I'm part of the Board and Table-Top Roleplay Games Society and everyone there is pretty much a shade of neurodivergent which is something I share in.
Good luck and I hope we both find our people!
Though I can tell you, you're 100% not alone in this. I've had multiple conversations with people who are also not close with their flatmates and are struggling with the unadvertised loneliness of university.
A lot of the marketing of university is people sat around reading textbooks and socialising when it's really not that. It can also be a struggle as it seems that everyone around you already has their 'lifelong friendships', this is not overly true. I can promise you that some of these people are going to have major fallings out with eachother later in the year.
I think the best thing to do at the moment is to give yourself a break first of all, you've pushed yourself very hard emotionally and you've done pretty well. You've also moved away from home for the first time, everything is going to feel awkward and like it doesn't fit because you don't have your familiar home to ground you in place. I haven't really found a solution to our problem, though I think the best course of action is to keep trying. Societies are definitely a good fallback to meet people you probably will click with e.g. I'm part of the Board and Table-Top Roleplay Games Society and everyone there is pretty much a shade of neurodivergent which is something I share in.
Good luck and I hope we both find our people!
Hi there,
I hear you, making friends at uni can feel tough sometimes. You're definitely not alone in this ,it takes time! Joining societies or attending casual events by Your student Union can be great for meeting new people. Small steps, like striking up a chat after lectures, often lead to connections. You'll get there!
Hope this helps.
Thanks & Regards
Second year Applied Biosciences
Coventry University Student Ambassadors
I hear you, making friends at uni can feel tough sometimes. You're definitely not alone in this ,it takes time! Joining societies or attending casual events by Your student Union can be great for meeting new people. Small steps, like striking up a chat after lectures, often lead to connections. You'll get there!
Hope this helps.
Thanks & Regards
Second year Applied Biosciences
Coventry University Student Ambassadors
Reply 6
Original post
by AnonymousI know it's still relatively early on in the year but I thought I would have found a few people by now who I click with. All my flatmates are nice enough, I only live with one other girl but we've become really close and I spend the majority of my time with her and we go to social environments which has helped me meet more people, the others I talk to around the flat but that's it and it's never more than a couple of sentences. Outside of my flat I'm in quite an interactive course and we do a lot of group work with different people so I've been having conversations with different people every few weeks, I'm just not sure I've clicked with anyone in these. There is one girl I've met in my course who I go to class with and have lunch with but the conversation is quite surface level and I'm not sure if it'll last long term. I have social anxiety so meeting new people isn't my strong point, but I have been trying to push myself more. During freshers week I found it quite hard because everyone was clubbing and that's just not really my scene, it seems like this has put me at a disadvantage though because a lot of the people who met then are still hanging out with each other. I've kinda just started accepting the situation but I really would like to meet a few people who I get along with and can meet outside of lectures. Any advice or similar experience?
Hi
Please try not to worry there will be more people, in this situation than you think.
I think that joining societies that you may be interested in is a great idea as it allows you to meet people who have similar interests. As well as this a lot of these societies will do lots of different talks and social events for you to meet up and foster your new friendships.
I hope this helps,
Matt
Wrexham Uni Reps
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