Lot’s of friends but not many real friends

I’m introverted but I can easily create a conversation with anyone. I struggle to make deep connections, and when I do, I can’t hold them. When I was younger, I used to be on am the group chats, but I’m not on a single one any more. I still talk to people, and if you asked other people about me, they’d say I have lots of friends. I just feel like if someone were to ask me to call a friend who tells you everything or someone you can trust with a life or death situation, I wouldn’t know who to call. I’m like on the outside of all friends groups, and I tell myself that’s ok, but really I know I want more.
This is not supposed to be some pity post. Before I head off to Uni next year I would like some tips on how to build and keep friendships. I understand I have to be committed, but are there any tips that can help with that?

Your feelings are really relatable; forming and keeping deep connections can be tricky, especially as life changes and social circles shift. Heading off to university is a great opportunity to work on this, and there are some practical things you can try to build deeper friendships. Here are a few ideas:
1. Invest in Small, Consistent Actions: Deep friendships aren’t built overnight. Try small, steady gestures like checking in regularly, inviting someone to grab a coffee, or remembering something personal they shared. Consistency shows you’re genuinely interested in the friendship.
2. Share Vulnerabilities Over Time: Close friendships often come from gradually sharing more about your personal experiences, thoughts, and feelings. You don’t have to rush into deep conversations, but sharing small bits of yourself over time encourages others to open up, too.
3. Ask Questions That Go Deeper: If you feel comfortable, try moving past surface-level conversations with questions that help you learn more about each other’s interests, goals, or challenges. People love to feel understood, and these conversations can create a bond over time.
4. Be Present: Try to be fully engaged when you’re with people—put away distractions, make eye contact, and listen actively. Being present signals that you value the time spent together.
5. Handle Conflicts or Tensions Well: If misunderstandings or conflicts arise, be willing to talk openly and resolve them. Friendships can actually strengthen when both people feel heard and respected during difficult moments.
6. Find Shared Experiences: Join clubs, study groups, or social events to build connections based on common interests. Shared activities can create natural bonds that lead to deeper conversations and memories.
As you start practicing these things, try not to stress too much about the outcome. The right friendships often form when you’re focused on enjoying the experience and being genuine, rather than achieving a certain goal. Good luck!

I’m introverted but I can easily create a conversation with anyone. I struggle to make deep connections, and when I do, I can’t hold them. When I was younger, I used to be on am the group chats, but I’m not on a single one any more. I still talk to people, and if you asked other people about me, they’d say I have lots of friends. I just feel like if someone were to ask me to call a friend who tells you everything or someone you can trust with a life or death situation, I wouldn’t know who to call. I’m like on the outside of all friends groups, and I tell myself that’s ok, but really I know I want more.
This is not supposed to be some pity post. Before I head off to Uni next year I would like some tips on how to build and keep friendships. I understand I have to be committed, but are there any tips that can help with that?